The love story of our meme.
So there was David Bowie, running to Miss Swagly. He had survived the "Space Oddity" music video when the rocket that they were using to film the video turned out to be real and fired off. Turns out that the real David Bowie was in space from the 60s till 2016 and the guy who claimed to be "the real David Bowie" who died of cancer not that long ago was a fake.
The real David landed down in the backyard of the lovely and lonely Miss Swagly as she was crying over the death of the fake David Bowie. She saw the spaceship crash and knew that in that in it was the man of her dreams. The capsule opened and out of it came out a man with a vest that read "Major Tom" in faded words.
She knew it was him, the real him. "I knew it!" stated Miss Swagly. The real David Bowie knew he was home. She ran to him. "I knew you didn't die! You came home David!" yelled Miss Swagly. David Bowie had been in space since the 60's but as we all know the aging process is slowed in space, so he was really like 20 or 30. "I can't die my dear, I am god, I am David Bowie, I am yours." This brought a tear to the fair Miss Swagly as he hugged her back in a tight embrace. Just as he was about to propose to Miss Swagly just like he dreamed about doing for his whole life, Miss Swagly boyfriend came running towards them and cast a satanic spell to fling them into the air. He then caught the fair Miss Swagly and ran off with her to his lair where he would keep her caged up. David Bowie woke up in the backyard of Miss Swagly knowing that his one true love had been stolen. He wasted no time and went to the only place he knew he had to go to, Sir Elton Johns house where the prophecy needed to be fulfilled. David Bowie need not a plane to get to England, he was the plane and he was powered by love.
He went from Wallingford to London in 3 seconds, all the while screaming at the top of his lungs the song that he crafted for her in space "Pressure". He landed in a field somewhere in England. He made a huge crater due to the speed he landed at and was smoking because his groovy spacesuit was charged due to the fact he was traveling at light speed. David broke into a 60 mile an hour sprint to Elton John's house.
He made it there unwinded, and knocked the door. Elton came to the door and opened it and his face turned totally serious. "So the prophecy was correct."Stated Elton John.
"You know what I am here for Elton, come one lets go." stated Bowie. "Oh, I know damn well what you want. You didn't sell the world Mr. Bowie, it got stolen from you." Elton stated. They walked to a bookshelf and pulled out a copy of "The Hobbit" and the shelf split revealing a church like temple. "The Sword Of Never Ending Groove, this is what you're here for Mr. Bowie?" stated Elton John. David Bowie went up to the sword and pulled it out of the ground in a marvelous display only alike the dankest of all the memes.
As Bowie walked out of Elton John's house he was halted by Elton saying "You know if things get too heated you can call me and who know who to help you win the scrap." "I hope it won't have to come to that." David said. And then David broke into a 850 mile an hour sprint to the cave of the evil troll. He made it there in about 15 minutes, and broke down the cave door with his bare hands. David came into the cave to be meet with 3,000 skeletons foes that all wanted to spill the blood of David Bowie.
David unleashed the sword and went light speed, bouncing around the room, cutting and slicing all the enemies to oblivion. When the dust settled there was nothing but David Bowie holding his sword, standing in a pile of dust that he made from cutting the bones.
David then kicked down the big stone door and it crumbled. David saw the troll and yelled "Come scrap with me you vile beast!". The troll talked in a loud voice and stated "I have no quarrel with you Bowie!" David ran at him at 1,000 miles an hour and cut the troll right in half.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH" yelled the troll. "Now tell me where is the Dark lord David, the man who stole her from me!" Yelled David Bowie. "Under the Red Light District in Thailand! That is where his lair is!" yelled the troll.
David booked it at an ungodly 1,233,454,213,234 miles an hour to Thailand and made it there in the minute. David did a super punch at the ground of the red light district and broke through into the lair. David saw her, in a cage, dressed like princess Leia when Jabba the hut was keeping her hostage. "Let her go you godless bastard!" Yelled David. "NEVER". yelled the wizard or her previous boyfriend. The battle was intense and long. Blow for blow in an amazing array of light and power. Until David could not keep it up and got on one knee and put his sword in the air and yelled "Elton John and Freddie Mercury! I call upon thee!" Just then Elton John and Freddie Mercury came down from the sky with angel wings and cross bows and fired upon the evil wizard.
The wizard could not hold all three of them, so that left him open to an attack by David Bowie. David came rushing at the speed of light to the wizard and cut him straight in two. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Screamed the wizard as light came flowing out of his eyes and mouth and then he blew up with a "POWWWW!". David free'd Miss Swagly and got on one knee and said "You are the grooviest of all the ladies, will you marry me?" "Oh yes David! Yes!" said Miss Swagly.
28 years later. David Bowie and Miss Swagly were married and had 9 children. They moved to Verdun, France because why not. David retired from making art, and put the sword in the swimming pool in Wilcox, guarded by Mr. Jacobe. Only the grooviest dood can get it.
~Fin.