Love Like Winter
It was cold. That was all Sanzo could think as he stood out in the snow, watching while Gojyo and Goku threw balls of the fluffy white substance in each other's faces. Their behavior was messy and pointless, but Sanzo didn't care. If those two idiots wanted to stand around and throw things, that was fine. As long as they were outside, there wasn't much chance of them destroying anything that he'd have to pay for. The only thing that mattered was the ruckus they were making. It was annoying.
Why do they have to make so much noise? "Idiots."
Hakkai smiled and chuckled just a bit. He knew that Sanzo was happy for them, even if Sanzo didn't know it himself.
"I'm going for a walk," Sanzo said as he turned to leave.
"I'll go too," Hakkai said, following after him.
Sanzo frowned, but he didn't say anything. He would have felt better if Hakkai had stayed to watch the other two. They might do something stupid if left unsupervised, and a solitary walk would have been nice. But Sanzo couldn't blame Hakkai if he also wanted to get away from the noise.
Gojyo and Goku were so busy throwing snowballs at each other that they barely even noticed when Sanzo and Hakkai walked away.
They didn't go far at first, walking down the street and amongst the buildings. The view wasn't appealing and Sanzo decided that he wanted to walk out of town. The streets hadn't been cleared, but there were only a few inches of snow in the first place. If he was going to stomp around in it, then he might as well go out into the trees where he wouldn't have to look at a bunch of worn-down buildings.
"How long is Hakuryuu going to rest before we can get back on the road?"
"I'm not sure," Hakkai replied. "He was really exhausted after plowing through the snow on the way here. I hope he isn't catching a cold." He looked back in the direction of the inn, even though it was impossible to see it from where they stood. "Even though he said he'd be fine staying in my room alone, I feel like I should be there with him."
There wasn't anything Sanzo could say about it, so he simply nodded in reply and kept walking. They wandered out into the woods, far enough that the dirty, old buildings of the village disappeared from view.
Everything was frozen. Even through the warm, fur-lined jackets that they wore, they could still feel the cold. The trees had no leaves, and there were icicles hanging from some of the branches. The ground was covered in snow, blanketed in spotless white. Sanzo could see his breath billowing like steam in the air even when he wasn't smoking. "It's cold."
"Is it making you uncomfortable?"
"A little."
"I could think of a way to warm us up."
"Hmpf. Is that right?"
"Yes." Hakkai smiled at the falsely critical look Sanzo was giving him. He'd already learned to distinguish that apathetic expression from the times when Sanzo was really upset.
"I'm not sure if I want to know," Sanzo complained.
"It doesn't require an explanation," Hakkai calmly replied. "Let me show you." As he bent down, Sanzo leaned forward, and their lips joined together. Both were frozen at first, warming gradually as the kiss continued. The chill in the air was a sharp contrast against the heat of someone else's flesh. It ended up warming more than just their mouths. Hakkai could feel the heat building up inside his body as blood rushed to his crotch. Judging by the way Sanzo was kissing him, he wasn't the only one.
The suggestion had worked much better than Sanzo would have expected it to. Their kiss had started soft and warm, but it had set off a spark. He wanted more. No matter how hard they kissed or how deep he thrust his tongue into the surrounding heat, it wasn't enough. Sanzo felt the need to pull Hakkai's body closer, pressing their chests together and grinding against his crotch. They were both hard. Sanzo pulled away from the kiss, frustrated with the clothing that separated their bodies. "Not enough."
"Ah," Hakkai gasped, stunned by the sudden chill when Sanzo pulled away. He had caught Sanzo's complaint, and he wondered for a moment how they would remedy the situation. His eyes traveled down Sanzo's chest, and the first thing that occurred to him was that the jacket was in the way. Hakkai reached over to tug at the zipper, but Sanzo stopped him.
"Didn't I say it's cold?" Sanzo reminded him. He didn't want to be any colder than he already was.
"But, if I can't remove your jacket..." Hakkai started to object, but trailed off as Sanzo abruptly grabbed Hakkai's zipper and pulled it down. There was a chill that spread over his chest as the sides of his jacket parted, but he didn't complain. If the biting cold was to be replaced with the warmth of Sanzo's touch, then he didn't mind.
Hakkai couldn't help but shiver a little as Sanzo hiked up his shirt. His naked skin was exposed to the frigid air, and icy hands brushed over his chest. "Ah!" he gasped. "Sanzo, your--"
"Shut up," Sanzo interrupted. He knew that his hands were cold, he didn't need anyone else to tell him that. Hakkai's chest was warm. Up until now it had been covered by the jacket, insulated from the weather. Sanzo's hands warmed up as he brushed over the surface of his upper abs. Hakkai didn't even seem to notice that his scar had been exposed. He was too busy shivering. Sanzo thought it was a nice distraction. The embarrassment that Hakkai associated with the scar had been temporarily forgotten.
He continued to hike up the shirt, pushing it as far as it would go. The sight that it created was arousing; pale skin framed by the black edges of the jacket. Hakkai's nipples quickly hardened in the frigid air, and Sanzo couldn't resist teasing them with the tips of his fingers. The soft gasps that came from Hakkai's mouth made it even more rewarding. Once his hands were warm, Sanzo leaned in closer and started to lick and suck at one of the perky little nubs.
The chill in the air permeated Hakkai's exposed skin and stole the warmth away, freezing everything underneath. Sanzo's fingers shielded small patches of skin from the cold as they traced over his body. They started tugging at his nipples and their touch gradually warmed his flesh, heightening the sensations. Try as he might, Hakkai couldn't stop himself from moaning.
Then Sanzo's mouth took over, enveloping everything it touched in scorching heat. Hakkai didn't understand how something like a simple touch could simultaneously make his blood boil and send a chill down his spine. He was so hard he felt like he was going to burst. He didn't know how much longer he could bear to be teased this way. "Sanzo, please...."
Sanzo reacted to the request by releasing the nipple in his mouth. He looked down, noting the bulge in Hakkai's pants. He reached down to rub the area. The feel of the solid erection in Sanzo's hand was nice, but the clothes were in the way. The buckle on Hakkai's belt had to come off, so he undid it and then went to work on the button and zipper.
Hakkai paused with baited breath as Sanzo's fingers tugged at his pants. Every split second seemed like an eternity to his aching cock. He gasped in relief when he finally felt the tips of those fingers brushing against his head, steadily moving down his length. They were hot, having already been warmed through contact with other parts of his body. Meanwhile, his chest was freezing in the open air. Compared to that, it felt as though everything inside his pants was on fire.
Sanzo's fingers wrapped around Hakkai's cock and started to stroke. Desperate gasps filled the air as he did, and he heard ragged panting in his ear. It was more than enough to urge Sanzo on. There was something erotic about watching Hakkai lose it, something all too irresistible in the way his voice trembled with passion. Forcing him out of his polite, prudish demeanor was a rare occurrence that few people had the opportunity to witness. Sanzo felt proud every time he did it. Hakkai was trusting Sanzo with a side of himself that most people would never see.
If there was just one thing that Sanzo could give Hakkai, only one way in which he could be of influence, then Sanzo wanted it to be this; to convince him that there were things in life that made it worth living. No matter how desperate any given situation was, there was still hope. No matter how terrible the present may be, there was still a future. No matter how dark things could become, there was still light. As long as you're alive, there will always be an opportunity to make up for the things that you've done wrong, and to find the type of affection that you thought you'd lost.
Sanzo wanted very much for Hakkai to believe in those things. He not only wanted Hakkai to survive the difficult times that they were going through, he wanted him to live; to let go of all the guilt and regret that had been holding him back so that he could truly enjoy the things that he had. Sanzo wanted Hakkai to feel so alive that he would never again think about dying.
With that in mind, he tried to decide which position to use. The ground was covered in snow, rendering it completely useless as a place to lie down. It limited their options. The easiest thing to do would probably be to tell Hakkai to turn around and bend over, but Sanzo found that option unappealing. He wanted Hakkai to be facing him.
Without any particular plan, he started tugging Hakkai's pants down with his free hand. There was a tree just a few steps away. If he could pin Hakkai against it and lift his legs, then that might work.
Hakkai wasn't quite sure what to think when Sanzo started pulling down his pants. He'd been fine with everything up until now, but it was freezing and there were certain sensitive bits down there that he didn't want to expose to the very real possibility of frostbite. Luckily, Sanzo's hand was still keeping most of those bits quite warm. Friction could do wonders. However, Hakkai was a bit concerned when Sanzo backed him up against a tree and started trying to lift his legs.
"Sanzo, what are you--"
Breath rushed from Sanzo's mouth in an annoyed hiss, creating momentary warmth on the side of Hakkai's jaw and neck.
"I'm trying to..." He pushed once more against Hakkai's legs, more as a way of expressing what he was trying to say than in an actual attempt to do anything. "So that I can..." His hand reached over to grope one of Hakkai's ass cheeks, leaving little doubt as to what his intentions were.
"I don't think this is going to work," Hakkai said. His pants were around his knees for the moment, preventing him from wrapping his legs around Sanzo's body.
"Take them off." Sanzo started tugging at the pants again, but Hakkai stopped him.
"I'd rather not."
"Then what?"
"Perhaps we should wait until we're back inside?" Hakkai closed his eyes and smiled. He hoped that Sanzo would take the suggestion, even though he was more likely to resist the idea. When Hakkai opened his eyes he was dismayed to find that not only was Sanzo not taking the suggestion, but he had ignored the well-intentioned advice completely in favor of clearing a large patch of snow off of a fallen tree. He stood there waiting next to it with an expectant expression on his face. "Sanzo...."
"Make sure that your jacket covers your back when you lay down."
Hakkai sighed. There was no help for it. Once Sanzo had made up his mind, there wasn't a thing that anyone could say or do to make him change it. At any rate, lying down across a fallen tree was much better than being pinned against one that was still standing. Hakkai pulled his pants back up for just a minute so that he could sit at the edge of the tree. Then he lay down, making sure that his jacket covered his back. The moment he was comfortable, Sanzo lifted his legs into the air and pulled his pants to his knees.
In order to get things started as quickly as possible, Sanzo pulled the small container of lube out of his pocket right away. He squeezed a generous amount onto his middle finger and snuck between Hakkai's cheeks, applying it directly to the puckered opening. Hakkai quivered and gasped while Sanzo worked it in. The liquid was cold at first, but it soon warmed. The inside of Hakkai's ass was so hot around Sanzo's finger that it made his cock ache.
The reality of the situation finally hit Hakkai when Sanzo's finger pulled out of his body and he heard the sound of a zipper being pulled open. He braced himself for imminent penetration, unable to keep from shivering at the cold. His ass was so frozen at this point, he would have even welcomed a spanking in order to warm it up. Fortunately, it was only a few seconds before he felt Sanzo's cock push in. It was a bit uncomfortable, but as it slid in deeper, he could feel the heat of Sanzo's body against his cheeks. Because of that warmth he was able to relax, if only for a brief moment before Sanzo pulled half-way out and started fucking him. "Ah... AAAH!"
"Fuck," Sanzo cursed under his breath. So hot and tight. Compared with the rough, frigid confines of his jeans, it was euphoric. He let his guard down, allowing himself to fully experience the pleasure that he usually denied himself. It was something that he could only do with someone that he knew he could trust. During these rare moments of intimacy, he felt more alive than he did at any other time.
"Yes," Hakkai answered. It was an absent-minded reply, slipping from his lips while his brain was awash in a sensual haze. It was incredibly erotic, the way Sanzo managed to hit that spot directly with each and every thrust.
Beyond carnal pleasure, there was a deeper connection. The concept was simple, yet poignant. Sanzo needed to express his affection, and Hakkai needed to receive it; physically, mentally, and emotionally. "Yes" was an expression of gratitude, a cry of pleasure, a statement of concession. It was both comfort and pain, desire and compassion, lust and love. It was what they shared in these stolen private moments with each other.
Hakkai didn't know how much longer he could last. His body had already been teased and taunted into a state of intense arousal before Sanzo had even started thrusting. Moreover, his cock was aching to be touched, so he slipped a hand between his legs and started to stroke. It brought him a greater presence of mind, momentarily.
Sanzo didn't object. His hands were busy holding Hakkai's legs up and trying to keep them out of his face. The pants were somewhere around Hakkai's thighs now, preventing Sanzo from spreading his legs and putting them around his waist. The position was unnecessarily awkward. After struggling for several minutes, he decided that it would be easier to hoist both legs over one shoulder. He couldn't get in very deep at first, but when he pushed them down toward Hakkai's chest he was able to slide all the way in. "Fuck, Hakkai!"
Yes, you're doing that quite well, Hakkai thought of Sanzo's comment. He had already learned to keep these cracks to himself however, as Sanzo was easily frustrated when someone took literally a statement that he had intended to be figurative.
Now that his knees were over Sanzo's shoulder, his body was turned sideways and his thighs were pressed in closer to his chest. There was no longer enough space in between his legs for Hakkai to be able to stroke his cock, but he kept his hand over it. His fingers gripped the shaft while his thumb flicked over the head. It felt nice enough, especially now that Sanzo was going in deeper. His body reacted to the friction by tightening around the invading cock, intensifying each thrust.
Moans spilled from Hakkai's mouth like it was overflowing with them; each one barely making its way out before another followed. His body was in a state of ecstasy as Sanzo kept moving, the pressure building up until he couldn't hold back. Feeling that his release was imminent, Hakkai tightened his hand around the base of his cock to prevent anything from leaking out. Walking back to the inn while wearing a shirt and jacket splattered with semen would have been inappropriate.
When Sanzo heard a choked-off gasp he knew that Hakkai was finished. He decided to hurry up, because even though he didn't want it to end quickly, Hakkai was in a pretty uncomfortable position. All Sanzo had to do was move faster, creating more friction.
Hakkai found it difficult to keep holding back as the thrusts became faster and harder. Luckily, he didn't have to wait long until Sanzo let out a satisfied groan and the movement stopped. There was a tingling sensation as the cock inside of him twitched and came. His own body protested that it wasn't able to feel it's release as well.
The moment Sanzo pulled away from him, Hakkai leapt to his feet. His free hand found the nearest standing tree to help him keep his balance. His grip relaxed, allowing his semen to spill onto the snow-covered ground. He gave himself a few soft strokes, pumping the liquid out of his body.
Sanzo told himself that he found it disgusting. There was no other reason for him to be watching the way he was; eyes glued to Hakkai's cock and the fingers that caressed it. Pale liquid squirted through the air and fell to the ground, melting into the snow.
After taking a few moments to catch his breath, Hakkai noticed that he had an audience. He straightened his body and smiled. "Enjoying the view?"
"Hmpf." Sanzo turned away in order to avoid Hakkai's gaze, and also to keep himself from committing any further voyeurism.
"I could keep going if you like."
"Tch. What makes you think that I would--" The sentence came to an abrupt halt as Sanzo turned back to Hakkai, who was leaning against a tree and stroking himself with an obscene smirk on his face. Sanzo stared for a minute, unable to summon a single word.
"Just kidding," Hakkai said. He laughed sheepishly while tucking his cock back into his pants.
"You really are an asshole."
"I know."
There was silence after that as they both straightened up their clothing and tucked everything back into place. Sanzo didn't care to spend any more time out in the snow, and he was pretty sure that Hakkai didn't either. He started walking back, and Hakkai followed. Their walk started off in a comfortable silence. There wasn't anything that needed to be expressed or explained. Each of them had had their fun, and was satisfied with the encounter.
As he walked, Hakkai couldn't help but think that their love was a bit like winter. On the surface it was cold and severe. Sanzo was like that. But underneath the pristine beauty of the flawless snow lay something dark, dirty, and surprisingly warm.
That was when they saw it. Just a few yards ahead, there was bush covered in snow, yet it was blossoming. Bright red petals fanned out from golden centers, their bold hue attracting attention in a world otherwise devoid of color.
"Do you see that, Sanzo?"
"See what?"
Hakkai ignored the disinterested retort and walked up to the plant, staring in awe at the colorful flowers. "It's still covered in snow. It shouldn't be possible for it to blossom at a time like this."
Sanzo huffed and looked down at the silly flowers. "Maybe they don't care whether they're supposed to bloom or not."
The statement didn't register at first. It went in one of Hakkai's ears and triggered a tickle in the back of his throat. The tickle turned into a chuckle, and went on to become an outburst of laughter. Yes, of course the flowers don't care whether they're supposed to bloom or not. Just like Sanzo didn't care whether he was supposed to survive or not. He simply did it anyway, regardless of anyone who wanted to tell him that he couldn't.
"Tch, it's not that funny."
"Isn't it?"
"It's just a stupid flower."
"Maybe. But, you know... they remind me of someone."
"If you compare me to a flower, I'm going to kill you."
"Oh? Then perhaps I'm the bush, and the warmth of your light melts the snow right off of me."
"Do you have any idea how stupid--"
There was the sound of someone chuckling up ahead. The conversation came to a halt as they both turned toward the sound and saw a familiar face buried in a very similar jacket.
"Gojyo?"
"Nice job, guys. That was hot." Gojyo grinned and kept chuckling to himself, he just couldn't help it.
"How long have you...?"
"Y' know.... Long enough, or somethin'...."
"Where's Goku?" Sanzo angrily interrupted.
"The monkey? He was startin' to chew on the snow, so I told him to go back to the restaurant and buy something more edible."
"Exactly who is paying for that?" Hakkai asked.
"Oh, yeah... Sanzo left the gold card lyin' around on the table earlier, so I thought I'd just let the monkey--"
"You idiot!" Sanzo walked right up and whacked Gojyo over the head. "Anything he eats is coming out of your allowance!"
"Hey! That fucking hurt, ya bald bastard!"
Sanzo ignored the taunt and marched back to the town, intent on finding Goku and putting a speedy halt to his feeding frenzy. Gojyo watched his back as he left, noting the angry tension in his neck and the stoop in his shoulders.
"I think this would be a good time to review our privacy policy."
"Not now, Hakkai. Look at the stiffness in his step; it's fucking funny!"
"Gojyo."
The tone in Hakkai's voice sent a chill up Gojyo's spine. That was the 'if you don't pay attention to what I have to say right this instant, then something terribly unfortunate will happen to you' tone. "Yeah?"
"I thought we already came to an agreement that you would no longer continue to eavesdrop on the personal relations between Sanzo and myself."
"What does that even mean, Hakkai?"
"Don't play dumb with me, Gojyo."
"Okay, okay... but y' know, Sanzo was right about the flower. It's not like him at all."
"What?"
"Sure, I mean... it's pretty and all.... But if it really were like Sanzo, then wouldn't it have more thorns?"
"Ah." Hakkai stared at the flowers as the words sunk in. It wasn't often that Gojyo said something so insightful. A rose would be a more appropriate comparison to Sanzo. The flower was beautiful and fragile, but you had to be very careful how you handled it. If you touched it the wrong way, sharp barbs would pierce your flesh and draw blood.
"So, ya ready for round two?"
"Gojyo."
"Come on, Hakkai! We can walk out there, find a nice fallen log, and start meltin' the snow together."
The only thing that Hakkai could think in response to the request was that a repeat performance of what had just occurred was something that he absolutely did not want, so he smiled and said, "I refuse."
"Tch, I think you've been spending too much time with that guy."
"It would be better if we went back inside."
"Yeah, but it's not as fun! There's no snow to melt in the inn!"
The argument was futile. Hakkai could only think of one way to effectively end the discussion, so he smiled seductively and stepped closer to his companion. "Gojyo?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you really want to make love out here in the snow?"
"Yeah."
"Just the two of us, stripped of all our clothing, with only the heat of our bodies to warm each other up?"
"Oh fuck yeah, Hakkai."
"That's too bad." He smiled, pulled away from Gojyo, and started walking back toward the inn. "It'll just have to wait."
"Y'know, Sanzo was right. You really are an asshole."