Disclaimer: I do not own Firefly, Serenity, or any of the other characters created by Master Whedon. Nor do I own Ranma ½, or any other character created by Takahashi-sama. Not makin' any money, please don't sue.

'' = thoughts

"" = speech

:: = telepathic communication

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Prologue: Strange Happenings, or Trouble on the Wind

"There's not much difference between a life of crime and an honest life.. It's just a little more dangerous. Either way, you still get a crappy boss, lousy pay, an angry spouse, and an ulcer the size of a softball. Still, there's less chance of getting shot if you live a life of crime." Andrew'Andy' Cobb, dedicated security specialist, transport Stonewall.

"What she said." Jayne Cobb, public relations officer, transport Firefly.

'Gotta be a better way to start the day than staring down the barrel of a gun.' was Captain Malcolm Reynolds' first thought to himself. Seeing the person responsible for his rude awakening, Mal groaned. 'Of course. Can't be havin' us a nice day when we're finally startin' to make good.'

River Tam was focusing on something no one else could see. While this was not an unusual pastime for her, it had been happening less and less often, and what she said next caused Kaylee to look at Simon in confusion and growing alarm. "She won't hurt him. Just wants his attention."

"Mei mei, she won't hurt who? Is something happening?" Simon asked, slowly starting to become alarmed. His sense of alarm only grew as he watched her get up from her seat at the breakfast table, and it spiked as she grabbed one of the small pots they used for soup. "Mei mei, where are you going with that? River?" As they looked on in consternation, River left the mess and headed for the captain's cabin.

As she arrived at the stairs leading to Mal's bunk, she closed her eyes, intent on capturing every last nuance of thought from the intruder below. When she had learned enough, she dropped soundlessly down into Mal's cabin, landing behind the woman standing there, and waited.

"So what brings you to Persephone, Inara? Finally get those divorce papers drawn up? Or did you just miss your 'airen'?" Inwardly, Mal started to kick himself. 'Yeah, like she don't got enough reasons to shoot you.'

The skin tightened almost imperceptibly around her eyes, and she inhaled sharply, but then seemed to expend some effort to control herself. "As much as I wish this was a business call, it's personal. I need help, Mal."

His eyes widened at the haggard sound of her voice, and then shifted from her face to her gun. "Well you sure got a funny way of askin'. Way I see it, you'll not be gettin' any help from me 'less you put that gun up."

"Sorry, Mal, I can't do that. I have to make sure I have your undivided attention." As she said that, she took another two steps into Mal's small cabin. Her nose wrinkled at the musty smell, and a small moue of distaste flickered across her face at the sight of dirty laundry littering the floor. "Ugh, I see this place hasn't changed a bit. Don't you ever clean around here?"

"Hey! I'll have you know I clean this place at LEAST once a year."

"I see that you missed last year's, then. I've seen barns that are cleaner than this pigst…." CLANG!! Inara dropped like a sack of stones, and lay limp on the floor.

"Everything okay, Captain Daddy?" River asked with wide-eyed innocence, attempting unsuccessfully to hide the pot behind her back.

"I 'spect it will be, little albatross. Why don't you go run get Zoe whilst I see to our unexpected guest here. I conjure she's got some storytellin' to do."

"She's in trouble. Needs our help."

Mal quirked his eyebrow. "That a fact? She's got a funny way of askin' for help.

Best run along and get Zoe, and have the Doc come take a look at her head. You did hit her a mite hard, after all." So saying, Mal threw the covers off and got up. Walking over, he noticed something… different about Inara, but before he could pinpoint the changes, River drew his attention elsewhere.

"Hearts aren't really you, Captain Daddy."

As he looked at her in confusion, sleep still fogging his brain, she pointed down. As he followed the direction of her finger, he let out a squeak and grabbed the blanket to cover himself. "Just run get Zoe, mei mei." He tried to put all of his captainy authority in his voice, but knew he wasn't entirely successful.

"Yes, sir, Captain Daddy!" She flashed him a mock salute, turned, and scampered up the ladder.

"That girl. Swear she tries to annoy us…." Dropping the blanket, he turned to get dressed.

"Everything shiny down here, Cap'n? Oooh, pretty hearts!"

Whirling around, he spotted Kaylee's head peering in the ladder access at him. He squeaked again, grabbing the blanket and wrapping himself in it again. "Everythin's fine here, Kaylee. Just go see 'bout the engine room. We might have to leave quick-like after the meet, and I want her warmed up and ready to go when we get back from Badger's."

Undaunted, the young woman just grinned. "Okay, Cap'n, but if you need anything, just yell, okay?"

Sighing in relief as her grinning head disappeared, he dropped the blanket and started to dress. It was a fortunate thing he did, as no sooner had he slipped his suspenders over his shoulders than he heard the sound of his first mate's boots on the deck above his cabin.

"Everything all right, Sir?" Zoe asked from above.

"No, everything is NOT alright! We got people sneaking onto MY ship, pointing guns at MY head, and crazy little girls hitting people with soup pots. Other than that, everything's just shiny! Get Jayne and take our prisoner here to one of the passenger cabins and have Doc look after her. I conjure she's got some storytellin' to do."

At the mention of prisoners, Zoë's face appeared in the access way. Upon seeing Inara, she smirks and remarks, "I see you still have it, Sir. She wasn't on board five minutes, and you already made her so mad she drew on you. Why is it that every woman you sleep with wants to kill you?"

"You mean you let her on my boat? After I told her not to come back?"

"Well, she waved yesterday, while we were on that job for Badger, and last night I was asking you if she could visit, and you said yes."

As her grinning face disappears, he takes the time to indulge in a long string of Mandarin cursing, and swore he would never, EVER go back to an Alliance bar on U-day. It left a body open to all sorts of deviltry concocted by overly scheming first mates. His stream of invective had barely died away when he heard a silvery giggle, like a little bell ringing, and River dropped soundlessly down into his cabin holding a short length of rope.

Mal took a moment to marvel at the changes in the girl in the six months since that disaster at Miranda. She had taken to wearing a close-fitting red silk shirt that had wooden togs, and black silk pants that showed off her slender frame quite fetchingly, and he smiled as he noticed her bare feet. Her hair was immaculately groomed, as were her clothes, and her eyes were almost shining with an inner light. But the biggest change, Mal thought, had to be her smile. It was like Kaylee's; when she smiled, the sun came out. 'Don't see it often enough,' he thought to himself

As she followed his train of thought, she smiled, then stuck out her tongue. "Long road to come back down, Captain Daddy. Still have bad days, but better days more often now. I can think clearer more. Still fuzzy, but getting better." She let Mal muse on that as she efficiently tied Inara hand and foot.

"So how long you think she'll nap, little 'tross?"

River tilted her head to the side and considered, then said, "One hour, forty-eight minutes, thirty-seven seconds. Approximately." She paused, then said, "She needs help to find a wild horse."

'I wonder if she realizes how creepifying that is.' Mal thought to himself.

"Yes, I do."

Jumping slightly, he glared at her. "Gorammit, girl, I told you to never read me!"

"Sorry, Captain Daddy. You think too loud." So saying, she scampered up the ladder in a flash, and was, suddenly, gone as she had come, to the sound of her musical laugh.

Bending down, Mal picked up the gun Inara had dropped. Startled by the light weight, he checked the magazine, and was unsurprised to find it empty. Looking at the bound woman at his feet, Captain Malcolm Reynolds found himself asking just what kind of trouble would drive a woman who he was pretty sure hated him now to ask him for help, even if it was at gunpoint. Did he really want more trouble so soon after Miranda, and for a woman who had cause to shoot him out of hand, after what he'd done? "Just what are you bringin' to my door, bao bei?" So engrossed in thought was he that he missed entirely the clomp of Jayne's boots on the deck, and jumped slightly when Jayne called down, "Zoë said we got prisoners? Ain't nothin' gone wrong yet, why we got a prisoner?"

Rolling his eyes at Jayne's usual brusque manner, Mal said, "It's Inara. Just take her to a passenger cabin and have the doc take a look at her. After that, cut them ropes and get down to the cargo bay so we can get this business with Badger over with and get back in the black. And Jayne? No grenades! I mean it!"

There was a moment of silence, and then Jayne said, "You sure you want me to leave 'em, Mal? You know what happened last time you said leave 'em…"

Mal pondered that for a quick moment. 'The man does have a point….'"Fine, but no more than three. And they better not be those gorram Betsy's of yours, either! Last thing we need is to burn down the warehouse district. Dong ma?"

"Gotcha, Cap'n. I'll be down in ten."

As he watched Jayne take Inara up the ladder, Mal couldn't help but think that, whatever her problem was, it was serious. He also knew that, unless it was outright suicide, he would do everything in his power to help her. It was the least he could do, after what he did; he just hoped she accepted his help.

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A/N: Well, here goes nothin'…. This is an idea that's been kicking around in my head for FAR too long. For those of you who don't know(which I'm sure is everyone, as this is the prologue) I intend for this to be a crossover with Ranma ½, but I'm having trouble coming up with a plausible (or at least semi-coherent) way to bring him into the cast. So I think I'll ask all of you which you like. You can vote at my profile.

Ranma was in cryo, and the crew of Serenity stumble onto him during an illegal salvage op. (Already been done, but not with Ranma.)

Ranma was imprisoned at the Academy, where River was uploaded with a memory engram of some of his less-advanced combat techniques. (By the by, this is the one I favor. Also probably the hardest, as I'll have to explain how they could POSSIBLY capture him. Hmm…. Bears more thought.)

The Tams (or another crew member) are descendants of Ranma, and he decides to check in on his favorite great-great-grandchild. (Probably my favorite esthetically, and fairly easy…. Maybe.)

Ranma has wandered the 'verse and eventually settled on a small space station orbiting a black rock. For this one, he should have run into a few of the crew members before (maybe in an Alliance bar on U-day, or something). This one has possibilities as well.

Ranma follows Ryouga, and gets spectacularly lost.

As this is mainly to get this demon out of my head, I'll probably do all four for my own amusement, so if you're REALLY nice (or especially insistent) I might publish the others later. I look forward to counting the votes(if anybody ever reads this, that is…..), and I'll get the next chapter out as soon as I can. Oh, and when Ranma finally gets here, I'll explain his apparent immortality. If you can guess what it is, you get a E-cookie. It's got chocolate chips, even. Mmmmm, chocolate……

Anyway, if you like it, please let me know if you want me to continue. Any constructive criticism is welcome, but this is MY sandbox, so if you can't say something nice (or at least decently sarcastic, funny, and/or vitriolic), go play somewhere else, or I'll make you eat a mud-pie. Ja ne