DRINK AND FIGHT!, a great mouse detective fanfic

Author's note: This story has the lyrics to "Irish Drinking Song" by Flogging Molly. This is just a little fanfic that I decided to do. The song made me think of the rat trap thugs.

DRINK AND FIGHT

It was a dark night in the Rat Trap. While Ratigan was away, the thugs were left behind. At first it was nothing but talking. Until the lizard thug named Bill was trying to get some beer. But the nothing would work.

"Oh crap! I can't get any beer! Damn it!" yelled the tempered lizard. He got so angry; he slammed the big thing that had beer in it. It was a slam that was so powerful, the cork that was holding the beer in automatically slipped out. Beer started bursting out splashing some of the thugs. Bill immediately put the cork back in. Most of the beer was still inside. Another thug got up.

"What was that all about!" he asked. Another thug got an idea.

"I got an idea! Since the boss is gone for the night, let's do something instead of just talking!" he said. He ran to the cork and pulled it out. He took out a glass cup and filled it. Everyone else did the same. Soon everyone was drinking and acting silly.

"I remember doing this once with my ex wife! Let me tell you what happened:

1st thug: "Well i stumbled and i am all drunk and full of smoke
my wife said i have had enough, I'm sick, that's it, get out!
So i stumbled down to Kelly's pub across the edge of town
and i told the boys I story and we had another round." he said feeling drunk.

All the thugs then started bouncing off the walls. They started drinking and fighting. The other thugs joined in.

All thugs: we'll drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink and fight!
We'll drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink and fight!
And if i see a pretty girl, ill sleep with her tonight!
We'll drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink and fight!

Another thug had a story to tell.

"I remember a had a girl friend and let me say she was the prettiest whore I've ever met. Let me tell you what happened to her:

2nd thug: "And Mary McGregor, she was a pretty whore
she'd always greet you with a smile and never lock her door
but on the day she died, all the men in town did weep
for Mary McGregor finally got some sleep" he said merrily.

Everyone laughed and joined in again.

All thugs: "we'll drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink and fight!
We'll drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink and fight!
And if i see a pretty girl, ill sleep with her tonight!
We'll drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink and fight!" they sang.

Bill had a story also. By the time he finished his story, he told the story.

"There was a girl I used to love! Let me tell ya:

Bill: "well i once loved a girl, a child I'm told
i gave her my heart and she gave my a cold
so now i sit standing here out in the pouring rain
ill stumble back to Kelly's pub and cry away me pain" he sang. Everyone joined in.

A hour later, Ratigan came back and was surprised by what he saw.

"Holy crap!" he said. The next morning, everyone was tired and hiccupping.

"It was worth it!" said Bill happily. Everyone agreed.