It had been ten years since I left him at the altar. Ten years since I chose to live then die rather die to live. I didn't let his face invade my memories anymore, although when I first left him days spanned into weeks with no other thoughts but him. Jacob was understanding, my warm wonderful perfect husband. He patiently waited for me to let go of the past so we could move forward together. A year after what would have been my first wedding Jacob and I married, followed by our daughter Ava the next year. Visions of her birth flashed through my mind, Jacob's expression when he watched her come into this world, the tears that ran down his face with her first cry. At that moment I knew I had made the right decision.
The plane rumbled underneath us again, causing my stomach to lurch, I grabbed it instinctively.
"You okay?" Jacob asked, lacing his fingers in mine.
"Yea. Pregnancy and flying don't mix." I replied.
He smiled, "Well no more flying then."
I laughed, "Or no more babies, four is enough."
His laugh filled the cabin and he replied a little too loudly "Naw, makin' them is too much fun."
I laughed at my crazy husband and then laid my head against the hard airplane seat. Ava stretched out in the three seats that were meant for her twin brothers, Charlie and Billy. However they were fast asleep on Jacob's lap, Billy's head against the window and Charlie's head resting on my knee.
"Mom." My daughter said, tapping me on the arm.
"Yes sweetheart?"
"I have to go to the bathroom."
I instantly pulled my seatbelt off, knowing full well that she hated going anywhere alone,"Okay come on."
We walked toward the front of the coach section of the plane and got in line, apparently the turbulence wasn't only upsetting me.
"Mom, I really gotta go." Ava moaned.
"I know sweetie, just a few more minutes.
I scanned the cabin to see if any of the other restrooms were open, but all of them had a line. Ava began to dance around, I knew what that meant.
"Excuse me." I asked the flight attendant as he passed by.
"Yes, can I help you?" He said with a fake smile.
"Are there any other restrooms, my daughter isn't going to last long."
"I'm afraid not." He said curtly.
"Please sir, I really need to go." Ava said, flashing her bright brown eyes. Those eyes could melt even the coldest of hearts.
He sighed, "Okay, follow me."
We passed by the few people in line, I prayed they understood that little girls just couldn't hold it in, and up through the practically empty first class. I held onto my daughters shoulders making sure not to bother the first class passengers. I kept my head down, maybe they wouldn't be upset that coach trash was coming to use their pristine facilities. The flight attendant led us to the front of the plane to a bathroom twice the size of the ones in coach.
"There you go." He said, and rushed off to the back of the plane.
Ava didn't wait, she threw the door open and ran inside. I leaned my back against the wall and looked out toward the passengers, where seven very familiar faces were staring back at me.
My heart began to leap from my chest, I felt my throat tightening. The Cullen's, Carlisle Esme Rosalie Emmett Alice Jasper and him. None of whom spoke, they were obviously as shocked as I was. I quickly caught eyes with Alice, whose face quickly turned from shock to a huge smile.
"Bella?" Her beautiful bell like voice unchanged over the years.
I nodded, "Alice."
She stood and rushed over to me, wrapping her arms around my waist, "Oh my God! I can't believe it's you."
My eyes were still wide, "I can't believe it either."
Alice let me go but Esme quickly took her place, "You look so beautiful." She said tucking my straggly hair behind my ear. "And congratulations." She said placing her hand on my stomach.
I smiled, "Thank you."
Ava opened the door and stopped in the tracks at the sight of Esme holding my stomach.
"Mommy?" she asked.
"It's okay darling. I'm Esme, what's your name?" Esme asked crouching down to Ava's height.
Ava, who was never shy, smiled widely and quickly answered, "Ava Renee Black."
Alice, who was the same height as my daughter, came from behind Esme, "I'm Alice. It's nice to meet you Ava." Sticking out her small hand.
Before I knew it Jasper, Emmett and Carlisle were lining up to get hugs and meet Ava. Rosalie nodded from her seat before sticking her IPod buds back in her ears. He on the other hand didn't move, only stared out the window. Time hadn't changed him, even his bronze hair was styled the same unruly way. But he looked different somehow, careworn, troubled.
"Ava, why don't you sit here next to me and tell me about school." Carlisle said, patting the seat next to his. Everyone gather around her (expect Rosalie) as she told of school on the reservation. Alice shook her head toward him, telling me to go talk. I took in a deep breath and walked toward him.
"Hi." I said in a shaky voice.
He didn't move his eyes from the window, "Hello Bella."
"May I?" I asked.
He nodded. I sat next to him on the leather chair and instantly felt electricity fill the space between us.
"How have you been?" I asked awkwardly.
"Well. And you?"
"I'm good."
"Happy?" He asked.
I heard Ava laugh with the Cullen's and my heart melted, "Very."
He nodded slightly, "That's good."
I shifted my body towards his, my knee brushing slightly against his pants. "Are you even going to look at me?" I whispered.
He didn't answer, instead turned his head slightly toward mine and locked eyes with me. His features, although saddened, were unchanged. His eyes on the other hand were no longer the golden shade I remembered but a deep, violent red. I couldn't look away, they bore into me causing shivers to run down my spine.
"Your eyes." I said softly.
He looked away quickly and toward Ava, "She's beautiful. Looks just like you."
My mind was still wrapped around his eyes, but I replied idly, "She looks just like Jacob."
He flinched at the name, clearly I shouldn't mention my husband. "She does have some of his traits, but she has your eyes, and stubbornness. And she loves being the center of attention, but often feels pushed aside for her brothers."
My jaw dropped then I remembered, "Well I guess you can read her mind."
"Clear as a bell."
Just then the curtain cutting off first class from the rest of the cabin opened swiftly, "Bella, what hap…" Jacob didn't finish the sentence as he caught glimpse of the 5 vampires surrounding his daughter and the one vampire he never wanted to see again in his life sitting next to his pregnant wife.
His face soured and he walked quickly toward me, "Bella. I was worried."
"She was just leaving." The red-eyed vampire next to me said, turning his head back to the window.
"Mommy, daddy!" The twins yelled from behind the curtain. The same flight attendant who showed us the bathroom brought the boys up front with a sour look on his face.
"I believe you left these." He said rudely.
"Thanks." Jacob said, taking each boy by the hand, but not dropping his gaze from the Cullen's.
"I think you better get back to your seats." The flight attendant said before leaving again. I stood, picked up Billy and smiled. "He's right, we've imposed enough." I said.
Jacob turned away and looked at me, "Yeah, Ava come on."
"Aw dad, we were…"
"Now Ava Renee." He said shortly, in our 9 years of marriage Jacob had never lost his temper, but I had a feeling this might send him over the edge.
Ava walked quietly past her father, arms folded, and left for our seats.
"It was so good to see you Bella." Alice said sweetly, touching Billy softly on the face.
"Yeah, it was great." I replied, although it wasn't completely honest.
Jacob placed his hand on my shoulder telling me it was time to leave, but sometime inside was pulling me away from him. I looked into the faces of the Cullen family, the family I was supposed to join all those years ago, and couldn't help but feel old. Where had time gone? It had flown by quicker than I could have imagined and then a thought hit me. I am going to die one day, not a matter of if but when, and they will still be alive. Still as young, still as beautiful. I will be gone and then someday my daughter and sons and this precious unborn life inside me will die too, but the Cullen's will still be alive.
I said my goodbyes and left their cabin, back aching from the now sleeping child attached to my hip. Sitting down in my seat I refused to let my mind remember what had just happened, and thankfully Jacob didn't ask. He was good at not asking things he knew I wouldn't answer, just as he had never asked if I regretted my decision all those years ago, maybe he was afraid of the answer. But he did ask how I was and smiled when I lied that I was okay.
We left the plane without another sign from the Cullen's. Ava was still mad at her dad and refused to hold either of our hands and the boys were both asleep before we landed in Seattle. We made our way to the long term parking, loaded the kids in our beat up van and left in silence. The drive was a long one, but not one word was spoken, a comfortable familiar silence filled the air. Later that night after we got home and put the boys to bed Jacob kissed me gently on the forehead, rubbed my belly, and went in for a shower. I lay on our bed with a book open, humming to my kicking baby.
"Momma?" a soft voice said from out doorway.
"Yes my love?"
"I love you." Ava said, jumping next to me in the bed. I wrapped the warm blankets around her and pulled her close.
"I love you too."
"I found something on the plane." She said quietly.
I ran my fingers through her knotted black hair, "What did you find?"
She held out her tiny fisted hand and dropped the contents in mine. "It was on the seat you were setting in when we met those people."
I looked down at palm and instantly tears begun to fill my eyes. There sat the opal ring once given to me.
"Can I keep it mommy?"
"No honey. It doesn't belong to you. I'll have to send it back to the airline." I managed to choke out.
Her face dropped and she left the room, arm crossed again. I stared at the ring, marveling in the opals colors and for one fleeting moment I thought of putting it on. But I didn't, instead I reached under our bed for an old shoebox full of mementos, ticket stubs from movies with Jake, ultrasound photos, a picture of our dad's at our wedding and on the very bottom, under a handkerchief given to me by my grandmother was a dusty CD I hadn't listened to in ages. I placed the ring on top of the CD and covered it with the other keepsakes and slid it safely back under my bed.
That night I dreamt of him, first time in almost a decade. He smiled at me, his eyes back to the golden shade of brown I once loved so much, then he waved, turned his back and left. Taking a piece of my heart with him.