Disclaimer: I own only the plot, and make no profits from this work
Even with the benefit of hindsight, Severus Snape had trouble working out exactly how he got to where he was. Not that he was complaining…
It all started during the long summer after the war. Hogwarts was being rebuilt and the order and half the teaching staff had decamped to Grimmauld Place for the interim. Severus had ended up there by accident really. The only way they would let him leave St Mungos after the final battle was in to the care of a fully qualified healer. He immediately volunteered Poppy Pomfrey's services, figuring that she owed him a favour or two and wouldn't mind. He was right, she didn't. Alas, he hadn't taken into account the fact that with the school out of service she too was temporarily without a home and had taken up residence in the old Black Mansion after Harry Potter had extended an open invitation to all the Hogwarts residents.
Severus had his own place - Spinner's End, up near Manchester - but Poppy had rejected the idea of moving up there with him before he'd even managed to vocalise it. Basically, it was Grimmauld Place, or St Mungos. Given the fidelis charm was still active on the mansion and the hospital was swarming with reporters, Snape gave in grumpily to the more private of the two evils.
To his relief the occupants were mainly off out and about during the day and only got together for the evening meal, frequently supplemented with other Order members who dropped in for dinner. A lifetime of dining in the Great Hall had trained him to bear communal eating. In actual fact, once he was well enough to participate, he found he rather enjoyed the evenings spent around the battered kitchen table discussing the rebuilding of the school with Minerva, or listening to Kingsley Shacklebolt's tales of his time with the muggle Prime Minister. Now the war was over the atmosphere was easy and people lingered, relaxing over a glass of wine or a hot mug of tea. Even the golden trio, all residents themselves, had migrated from infantile terrors to mere irritants in Severus's eyes now they were grown up.
Along with the rebuilding of the school, all the occupants were involved in what seemed to be endless social events and parties celebrating the end of the war. As members of the Order of the Phoenix, as well as key participants in the downfall of the Dark Lord, they were obligated to show up, smile and speak about their experiences to the general public and ensure the key messages got heard - yes Voldemort was definitely dead this time; yes the new ministry supported equal rights for all, regardless of birth; no the boy-who-lived and who had survived the killing curse again was not a zombie, a vampire, or any other Dark creature.
One of the first things Minerva had done after her arrival was to set up a rota for attendance from the Order. This ensured all the important parties had representation - good PR being just as essential post war as it had been during - without it becoming too much of a burden on any one person. Unsurprisingly Severus detested attending the public events with all the groupies fawning all over him. He attended sullenly in his usual black robes and usually ensured he was left alone with a couple of devastatingly biting comments made very loudly and publicly to whichever fool was first to approach him, and then by dint of a full-force scowl at anyone who dared to get within 6 foot of him the rest of the evening.
It was after one such event that the conversation that changed everything occurred.
Somehow Miss Granger had ended up on the same rota pattern as Severus and they had just returned from the third occasion that week, not that anyone else had a less strenuous timetable at present.
First had been a morning tea on the Monday with the WI - the Witches Institute - consisting of delicate sandwiches, divine cakes, and a presentation by Miss Granger entitled 'Hunting horcruxes and defeating a Dark Lord - a witch's perspective'. Severus had sat at a table full of admiring older women who all tried to mother him with varying degrees of subtlety whilst he ignored them, drank earl grey tea and ate the lightest victoria sponge sandwich he'd ever tried. All things considered, it wasn't bad; and he'd even admitted to Granger after they'd got back to Grimmauld Place that her presentation had been mildly interesting.
Then had come Wednesday and the annual Animagi conference, where they had both sat on a panel with Minerva answering questions from the floor on the future of the wizarding world. Tedious to a fault, especially as he was called on frequently to contribute his opinion. Minerva had already threatened to turn him into an actual bat as part of her demonstration if he didn't behave, so he was forced to tone down his sarcasm and actually answer a proportion of the asinine questions directed at him.
The final engagement for the week had been the Saturday evening ball by the Association of magical shopkeepers at which Longbottom, Hestia Jones, Granger and he had been forced to smile (or in his case scowl) as the ballroom full of Diagon Alley's finest applauded them for defeating the Dark Lord, before being subjected to endless requests for dances.
It was the dancing that had clearly driven Miss Granger to distraction. Severus himself had danced with both Hestia Jones and Miss Granger once each for propriety's sake, then retreated to a dark corner with a glass of wine, cast notice me not charms and sat reading a book he had secreted into his pocket for the evening. Once his wand chimed to remind him it was midnight he shrank the book, removed the charm and headed back to the dance floor where he collected the remaining order members under the premise that they were required to floo back together for security reasons. The grateful looks they had all shot him when he swept into view - even Longbottom - told him everything he needed to know about the evening he had opted out of.
Once back at Grimmauld Place Severus had wandered into the library to return the book he had borrowed and spent a pleasant few minutes choosing his next read from the shelves. Someone had supplemented the old Black library with a selection of brand new books on a wide variety of topics that he was enjoying working through. He hadn't had much time in the last couple of years for reading for anything other than work - be that School, Order or Death Eater - so it was an absolute pleasure to immerse himself in a book for no reason other than idle curiosity.
Book chosen - Creative Charms for Arithmancy Conundrums - he headed into the kitchen. To his surprise it was still occupied by Miss Granger, who was sitting at the table with a pot of tea and a book of her own.
She looked up as he stepped into the room and inclined her head in greeting. "Tea?" She asked, and when he nodded she flicked her wand to summon a cup and saucer from the cupboard before sliding across the tray with the tea pot and accompaniments to where he sat opposite her. While he busied himself pouring a cup and adding milk and sugar she flexed her bare feet with a groan.
"Merlin, if I had a galleon for every time my feet got trodden on this evening I'd never have to work again!" She commented wryly.
"Why do you allow them to do it? I neither had my feet stood on, nor did I trample on any delicate toes. It can be done, Miss Granger, with the right attitude."
"Yeah, that and dragon-hide boots," she muttered under her breath sullenly, looking between his securely shod feet and the delicate open-toed sandals she'd abandoned on the floor with obvious envy.
Severus took a sip of tea, pausing in appreciation of the strong brew. No watery earl-grey here - muggle yorkshire teabags graced the kitchens at Grimmauld Place, and he personally thought the house much better for it. "What you need, Miss Granger is an escort to keep the bumbling masses at bay."
"Oh yes," she replied dreamily, "a knight in shining armour, or at least decent dress robes, able to hold an intelligent conversation, dance with me without mangling my toes, and intimidating enough to put off anyone else thinking of asking me… if only such a man existed." She smiled up at him, inviting him to share in her joke.
"What about Mr Weasley? Or.." He shuddered, "Longbottom?"
Miss Granger winced. "Neville is a shocking dancer - being partnered with him all night would guarantee bruised toes no matter how many shield charms I cast on them. And Ron would be most put out that my presence would limit his opportunities for chatting up all his groupies. Besides, we shared a tent for a year. Trust me, there is not even a smidgeon of romantic feeling between us after that."
He wasn't sure what made him make the offer. In his defence it was late and he was feeling mellow after having successfully circumnavigated the worst effects of the evening without censure.
"I don't know about the knight bit, but I could certainly assist in keeping the hoards from you at our next event, Miss Granger."
She looked up at him with shining eyes, "You'd do that? Stay around all evening and act as my escort?"
"Really, you should know by now I detest repeating myself," he replied dryly. "Yes, I will act as your escort at these cursed war events where we are both obligated to attend."
"For that, Professor, I would owe you, considerably. And I know Slytherins don't like to leave debts hanging so I'd have to think of something of equal value to offer you. Although I don't know what I could do in return… it's not as if you need a lab assistant at present." She frowned in contemplation.
"Indeed, Miss Granger, war heroes such as myself want for little in the way of fame or fortune," he replied sardonically, and was rewarded with a swift grin from her. "In fact," he continued, "All I want for in life, apart from the restoration of my potions lab at the school and a life without ever having to hear the words 'war hero' ever again, is a willing witch to warm my bed at night." He smirked, thinking himself very witty.
Granger looked at him thoughtfully, then replied, "Yes, ok."
"I'm sorry?"
"Yes, I'll 'warm your bed' for you in return for your protection at these godawful events."
His mind blanked in shock and he reflexively took another sip of tea then choked when he realised it was stone cold. "You, Hermione Granger, darling of the wizarding world, with young and handsome would-be suitors by the dozen, want to sleep with me in return for favours. I have to say, you never struck me as someone with so few morals." He replied disapprovingly, looking her up and down.
She merely laughed, a gloriously sunny peal totally out of place in the cold dark kitchen, and reached out to touch his hand where it rested on the table. "Professor, I would hope you knew me well enough by now to know I'm not some loose woman shagging all and sundry! If you want me, and I want to show my appreciation for your help physically then what's the problem?"
"The problem, Miss Granger, aside from the obvious facts that I'm your former teacher and old enough to be your father, is that you have absolutely no idea what you are getting into. You can't just offer a blanket proposal like that! Surely you of all people are aware of the reputation of Death Eaters - I fear I must remind you that I did join willingly even if I switched allegiances later on."
She stood and walked over to the other side of the table where he was sitting and thrust out a hand as if to shake his. He looked at it in bemusement.
"What in Merlin's name are you doing now Miss Granger?"
"Introducing myself. Have you met me? In case you've forgotten… Hi, I'm Hermione Granger, well known for being a Gryffindor know-it-all with insatiable curiosity about anything and everything, for being outspoken and unwilling to lie, and for never hesitating once in the last seven years of your classes to ever hold my tongue if I disagreed with you, no matter what the consequences in terms of point loss, detention and mortal peril."
"Your point?" He sneered.
"If you suggest something I don't want to do Professor, I'll tell you, and I won't do it. I'm not pledging my unending servitude or anything, just a willingness to sleep with you and have a bit of fun. Besides, you've no idea what kind of thing I like to get up to in bed." She ended, with a saucy wink, putting her hand back down.
For a long moment there was quiet as she padded back to her chair in her bare feet and sat back down and they both stared at their teacups. Finally, Miss Granger broke the silence;
"So… do we have a deal?"
A/N - so this scene popped into my head and I just had to write it down! No idea when I'll write more as I want to complete my outstanding SSHG fiction first, but I'm looking forward to writing more of this - I feel the need for these two to have some fun!