I am a soldier… a lost soldier. My bones lie on the jungle floor, alone and forgotten. Not even my friends lay beside me. Once, I was a person, with hope for tomorrow and dreams of the future. A family waited for my return, hoping, praying, that soon I would come home.
How did this happen? Why am I here? Why do I lie alone and forgotten on the jungle floor? This horrible fate that has befallen me, how did it come to be? The thing that befell me was a horrible war. But it was a war that had to happen, a war that even though it killed me, I am proud to have fought in. This war was Vietnam…
There are a lot of people who say that we were poor and uneducated, and were forced into fighting a war we didn't believe in. But I tell you, from the moment I enlisted to the moment I died; no one forced me into anything. I gave my life freely because I wanted the people of Vietnam to have the freedom I had, and that was never wrong.
My last day on the earth was bright and sunny; it held no warning of what was to be. Some men feel a warning, a voice telling them they won't make it back, but I felt nothing. It was a routine patrol, no big deal. But on that day my friends and I died because we obeyed a rule that said we couldn't fire until fired upon.
It may make sense in the manual books, but in real life that rule killed more guys than the enemy. I personally always thought it was pretty hard to shoot back with a bullet in your brain.
I died like many other soldiers, because of this rule. Oh sure, we saw the ambush all right, but what could we do about it? Nothing but pray, keep walking, and hope you could duck fast enough.
They were all over the place- in the trees, behind rocks, hidden in the bushes. I can still feel the taste of fear in my mouth as I walk towards them. Could I duck fast enough? Would I be able to shoot them before they shot me? What would my family do if I didn't make it home?
We didn't have a chance. Without the element of surprise we were sunk. They had us out gunned, outnumbered, and boxed in. Our only hope was a miracle. But a miracle didn't come, so we settled down to fight- even though we knew we would lose…
In the end, they won and we lost, they lived… and we died.
But why am I here, lost and alone?
I did not die right away, though it would have been a mercy if I had. For after they had gone, I awoke to find myself laying among my dead friends, hurt, alone- the only survivor among so many fallen…
I lived for three more days.
The first day I lay waiting for death to come so I could be with my buddies. But it didn't come. My best friend Ace lay beside me, he was always smiling, always making a joke. But now he lay dead, flung down like a broken toy, his wonderful smile smashed by a Charlie bullet.
The second day my mind started to wonder- I couldn't seem to comprehend that my friends were dead. In my delirious brain, my own cries of pain were those of my friends. Vainly I tried to reach them. Ace seemed to be calling me, pleading for me to help him, but I could not…
Finally, the day ended, and night came. As I lay among my fallen friends, I marveled how fast everything had changed. Was it only yesterday that Ace and I were talking about—no, I would not think of that, God had no place here. If he was real, how could he have let this happen? I looked at my friends, their faces were peaceful in the moonlight; death seemed to have taken away the rough callous soldier, replacing him with a little boy, peacefully awaiting the sunrise…
By the third day my mind was almost completely gone. All that I knew was that I had to get to Ace, he needed seemed to have taken away my pain, I could finally move. I dragged myself to him, he was so pale, and there was so much blood…Frantically, I tried to bandage his wounds, but my head was buzzing and my hands wouldn't stop shaking. What could I do? Ace needed help, he needed help bad! His only hope was for me to go and get some…
Desperately, I stumbled to my feet, where could I go? How could I bring help? The base camp. . . I must get to the base would bring help. So I set out on my impossible mission; to bring help to my dead friends…
Reeling, stumbling, I made my way through the jungle. My mind was completely gone by now. My friends seemed to appear before me, calling, beckoning, for me to join them in death. I lost all sense of time; the only thing I was aware of was that I must keep moving…
But even the determination of the mind cannot control a dying body. At last, gasping and sobbing, I fell to the ground. My journey was over, I could go on no more. The fog seemed to lift from my mind, and I realized that I, Danny Morgan, age 19, was dying…
How cruel a fate it is to die alone, with no one to wipe your sweaty brow, or comfort you in your last moments. As I lay there sobbing for breath I thought of my family- of Dad, who had been so proud of me. . .of Mom, who only wanted me to come home. . . of my sisters, who thought I was a hero. What would happen to them when they found out I wouldn't be coming home?
A sudden fear consumed me. I was alone. I was dying, and no one would ever find me. The world was edged in black as I started to fade. "No!" I screamed, "NO! I can't die! I'm not ready yet. I have too much to do."
"But you're dying," a voice answered me, "and there's nothing you can do to stop it…"
"Ace!" I screamed wildly, "Ace help me!" Ace was always there when I needed him. Surely he wouldn't fail me now…
Suddenly, I heard his voice. "Danny, I can't help you. I know I've always helped you before, but this time I can't be there to guard your back. But remember Danny; remember who is here with you, right now, right this very minute. God's here Danny, God's here with you and he'll never leave you…
"He'll never leave you… never leave you… never leave you… The words swirled in my head like a buzzing mosquito, "Darn you, Ace," I mumbled. "You never give up, do you, not even when you're dead."
The voice came back like the gentlest of winds, "Surrender Danny, and give into him. God's the only one who can help you now… A sob caught in my throat. I had fought God for so long, searching for something, or someone else to fill the empty space inside me. But now I was alone, and the only thing that remained was the God I had rebelled against for so long. What was I to do? My life on this earth was ending; my only hope was a place after death that I could finally find peace. So, with a small cry, I gave in to Jesus. "Jesus," I cried, I have fought against you for so long, but now I am dying, and I have nothing left to fight with, so if you want me, you can have me…
A peace surrounded me that I had never felt before. For the first time in my life death held no fear for me. I lay back with a sigh, it was over, and I could finally go home. The world started to fade from black to white and in the distance I started to hear singing. The voices swelled in joyous song. In joyous realization I saw it was the angels welcoming me home. There was no more pain, or fear, or sorrow- just peace. A wonderful, beautiful peace that words cannot describe…
So now my story comes to a close. My body may be lost and forgotten, but my soul is in heaven, rejoicing with my Lord. There are no earthy words that can describe this paradise, all the pain and fear I have ever felt is like a distant nightmare, never again will they have a hold over me. The peace that I felt on that jungle floor has never left me, it never will.
To all of you who are struggling to find peace and happiness in this fallen world, I tell you this: Don't waste your life looking for something you will never find, for only Jesus through his death on the cross has the power to forgive your sins and grant you the peace and happiness you search for. Throw yourself at his mercy today, ask him to forgive you and make you one of his children, and he surly will. For he loves, he died for you, and all he wants in return is your everlasting love and trust. Do it now, while you still have time, so you to may join me in paradise.