I do not own anything but my own words. This story may contain CUTTING, EATING DISORDERS, AND OTHER TYPES OF SELF HARM! Any and all flames will be poked and prodded for marshmellows. I do not mean to offend anyone in the writting of this story. R & R if you want to.

Help Me chapter 1

Dead. He's dead. I killed him. Everyone gets hurt and dies around me. Sirius Cedric, my mom and dad. Remus only just got his husband back, he must hate me now. Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Neville, and Luna all risked their lives for my murdering life. And now I have one more murder to commit. At least I can't die until I kill Voldie. Great right? Wrong. Now I want to die. End the pain and see all the ones I killed, without them trying to kill me themselves. What am I talking about they deserve to kill me or at least torture me in the next life

"Knock, knock," came the annoying voice of that bastard Dumbledore. How dare he keep something as important as that prophose from me? So I kept turned away from him and pulled the covers tighter above my head. "I know you must be a bit upset at me," yeah, sure, 'a bit upset', "but I brought food. You must be hungry by now." On the contrary, my stomach lurched rather unpleasantly at the idea of eating anything. What right did I have to eat when those murdered because of me couldn't? I clenched my covers tighter and shock my head, groaning in pain.

"I understand if you don't want to talk to me, my boy, but we will have to talk sooner or later. How about once Madame Promphy lets you out, you join me in my office for another chat." I cringed again under the covers. Another chance for Dumbledore to talk to me about my destiny and to telling me to forget about Sirius while probing my head for information. I wasn't stupid. The lesions with Snape taught me to at least deduce when someone's entering my head. I just couldn't stop it yet.

Dumbledore sighed again before standing up and walking away. "Don't forget to eat your lunch," he said before closing the door behind him.

Once Dumbledore was out of the room, the sicking smell of the pizza he brought for me reached my nose. It made me want to throw up. I pulled up a quick bubblehead to breath easier and then banished it to that dumb curtain. Last summer I learned that Sirius loved pizza.

More memories. More pain. No sure end. Now I just want to kill Voldemort just so I could die myself. I wouldn't let anymore die because of me. I would have to just endure this torture until that old bastard was dead.

I just cried myself to sleep.

Don't expect much continuous uploading, I am never good with that. But with encuragement I will try. Let me know what you think.