Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

A Painful Parting

By: ChoCedric

Severus Snape waited at the top of the Astronomy Tower, his heart and mind full of anticipation. When he had written Lily the note telling her to meet him here, he had actually begged, and that was not a thing that Severus Snape usually did. He hadn't done it, in fact, since that awful night two years ago when he'd stood outside the Gryffindor common room, begging Lily to understand that he was sorry for calling her a Mudblood. Lily hadn't forgiven him then, so what made him think she'd come now?

But Merlin, he needed to see her. Needed to see her one more time before they left school, left to go out into the big, wide world. And Lily would be venturing out there with that bastard Potter. Severus gritted his teeth, clenching his fists in rage. What the hell did Lily see in him anyway? He was nothing but an arrogant, cocky jerk who liked nothing better than to make his life a living hell, and he'd succeeded. He'd succeeded in taking the one thing from him in this world that was precious, more precious to him than all the diamonds and jewels on Earth.

Well, Severus thought savagely, if she's going to be with Potter, I'm going to do something for myself. He hadn't yet met Lord Voldemort, but he planned on becoming a Death Eater once he left Hogwarts. It was true, he knew, that the Dark Lord was targeting Muggle-borns like Lily, but he had been told by Lucius Malfoy that he was a merciful Lord. And Severus was sure that he could give Lily the protection she had always dreamed of, if he just talked to him. Severus could protect her far, far better than Potter ever could. What right did that vermin have to be with her? Severus had known her for longer, loved her for longer.

"Severus? Are you up here?"

He was violently pulled out of his thoughts by a voice he hadn't heard address him in two years. He looked around, and sure enough, Lily Evans was climbing up towards him. And Merlin, she was more beautiful than he even remembered her being. Her red hair was like a halo around her face, her emerald eyes shining with life. "I'm here, Lily," he said softly.

Lily proceeded to climb up the rest of the way. Once she had reached him, she sat down, but Severus was dismayed to see that she sat the furthest away from him that she possibly could. "Why did you ask me here?" she demanded, getting straight to the point. "What do you want?"

"I've missed you," Snape said, the words escaping his mouth in a rush. "I wanted to see you."

"You wanted to see me?" Lily asked in disbelief. "Me, a filthy little Mudblood?"

Severus's heart filled with pain at her harsh tone, and the word she spat out in disgust. He flinched violently. "Don't say that word in my presence again," he snarled.

"And why not? You were more than happy to call me that in front of the entire school," Lily shot back, her cheeks turning as red as her hair. "Do you want me to say it again, because I will! You missed me, a filthy little Mudbl-"

"NO!" Severus shouted, equally enraged. "How many times do I have to tell you, I'm sorry for saying that! I didn't mean it!"

"It's too late for that," Lily said in a low, dangerous voice. "And I know what you're doing when you leave Hogwarts, Severus. You're going to become nothing but a servant. You're going to become a murderer, and join Lord Voldemort."

"Don't say his name!" Snape hissed venomously.

"And why not?" Lily challenged. "That's his name, and I can say it if I damn well want to!"

"You'd be best not to do that," Snape said acidly. "And how do you know I'm going to join him?"

"Because you still hang out with those bastard Slytherins, and that's all they whisper about in their little corners," Lily spat. "They talk about promises and power and loyalty and hurting people like me. My family are Muggles, Severus, have you forgotten? Have you forgotten the days when my parents took you into their home and made you feel welcome? Do you really want to repay them by pointing a wand at their chests?"

Snape had nothing to say to this. He felt a flash of guilt, but then replaced it with anger as he shot back with, "Forget about me. How about you? How can you be with ... be with ... him?" He couldn't speak for a moment, he was so rage-filled.

"You mean James?" Lily asked, staring Severus dead in the face. "I love him, Severus. And I know it hurts you to hear it, but you can't change that fact."

"Why?" Snape growled, gritting his teeth. "You hated him! You always said you hated him! Where's the Lily I used to know?"

"You have a lot of nerve, saying that to me," Lily snarled. "What happened to you, Sev? What happened to your shy smiles as you took the biscuits my parents always gave you? My parents, who you and your little friends now want dead? Merlin, where's my best friend?"

Suddenly, her anger evaporated, to be replaced by such a deep sorrow that it tugged at Severus's heart. Her beautiful emerald eyes filled with tears, and in that moment, it was as if her heart shattered.

"Listen, Sev," she said softly, the old nickname coming out of her mouth unintentionally. "I didn't start dating James to hurt you. He's changed. He doesn't hex people anymore, he's kind, compassionate, and always helps others. Remember the Hogsmeade attack last year? He saw the Death Eaters using your Levicorpus spell." She said this still with sadness, not with anger. "And he realized that what he'd done was extremely wrong."

Snape was silent, staring at Lily as his heart twisted. He knew she had more to say, and that was a good thing, for he could think of nothing.

"And I hope for your sake," she said, her voice becoming a whisper, "That the same thing happens to you. I hope you see that what your Dark Lord preaches is wrong. And I hope that when you realize it, you come back to the right side. Because as disappointed as I am in you, I know deep down that you can be a better person,. We were friends for so long, Sev. I know you have a heart in you."

Snape was still speechless. All he could do was continue gazing into Lily's emerald eyes. She stared back at him, and their eyes locked. In that stare were feelings of betrayal, frustration, helplessness, pleading, but there was also sorrow and love.

Tears now streaming down her face, Lily got up from her seat and began to walk away. "You were my best friend," she choked out. "Be the man I know you can be. Goodbye."

And as she walked away, a single tear of his own fell down Severus's cheek. "I love you, Lily Evans," he whispered,, knowing she was now too far away to hear him. "Always."