A WEEKEND AT ZELL'S!
Zell was on his way to his mum's for the weekend. As he hadn't seen her for a few weeks. And he also intended to catch up with some old friends.
Zell pulled his mobile phone from his pocket and rang an
old friend of his.
Zell: yo is that Salamander?
Salamander: yup
Zell: yo Sala, it's me Zell
Salamander: wassup?
Zell: well I'm back in Balamb this weekend and wondered
if you and the lad's wanna hang out sometime?
Salamander: sounds cool we're knock for ya later
Zell: see ya then
Salamander: see ya!.
Zell entered his house and greeted his mum with a loving
hug.
Zell: hi Ma!
Ma Dincht: hello Zell, you look well, you been changing
your under wear daily, and eating all your vegetables
Zell: Ma!
Zell plonked himself down on the sofa turning the T.V on
Zell: Ma I'm expecting some mates could you let them
wait for me in the front room
Ma: what mates our those Zell?
Zell: ya know Sala and the lad's
Ma: ah yes what a lovely bunch of boys they where too
Zell: Ma they trashed our house
Ma: yes well, it happens sometimes
Zell: I'm gonna have a bath now
Zell ran upstairs. Outside Salamander and his mates
where talking
Frank: Zell's old deer's that dim one ain't she?
Salamander: yup, I gotta plan!
Roy: what's that?
Salamander: yo Pat you still got that joint?
Pat: course!
Salamander: right ere's the plan we get the old deer
high, she 's gonna be so outta it, so we then help ourselves to whatever we
want!
Pat: that's a wicked idea!
Roy: let's do it!
Frank: what about Zell!
Salamander: leave that too me!
Salamander knocked on the door and Ma Dincht answered
Ma Dincht: ohh you're those lovely friends of Zell's any
friends of Zell's our friends of mine
Salamander: yeah whatever, can we come in or we gonna
freeze our arses of out here
Ma Dincht: of course you can come in
They all pushed past her and barged into the front room
and sat down Ma Dincht sat on the side of a chair
Ma Dincht: would you like a cup of tea?
Salamander: yo Biddy, ya smoke?
Ma Dincht: ohh no, no, no, it's very bad for you
Frank: like I totally agree so I smoke these
Frank pulls a joint from his pocket
Salamander: its herbal shit great for your health makes
ya feel great puts ya on a real high
Pat: that's right try some?
Ma Dincht: why not herbal can't be bad can it
She takes the joint from there hands. Just then Zell
rans down stairs
Zell: Ma! Your
smoking!
Ma Dincht: no it's herbal actually
Roy: calm down why don't ya go get some C.D's
A few minutes later Ma Dincht has finshed the joint and
feeling rather happy.
Salamander: Ma biddy do ya mind if we trash your house
and nick a few bit's and pieces
Ma Dincht: no of course not, after all isn't that what
friends are for?
Roy: that's right biddy
Slamander and his cronies start trashing the house while
Ma Dincht danced around her house happily singing.
Ma Dincht: come on boys lets dance!
Ma Dincht grabbed hold of Frank and started dancing with
him
Frank: please someone help!
Ma Dincht: tell me Frankie have you ever seen a women
naked ?
Frank: if your offering I don't want to know!
Ma Dincht: that's not what Zell's last friend said
Frank: help she's gonna rape me !
Salamander: you can't even deal wit an old biddy, what kind of man are you?
Ma Dincht began singing again and that was enough for
any human to take, Pat took matters into his own hands and smacked her one.
Pat: shut it! Damn biddy!
Roy started loading his bag with C.D's
Roy: yuck Sisqo! He's a fucking gay twat
Frank: tell me about it what kinda man has his belly
button pierced?
Roy: where's that baseball bat
Roy starts smacking it with hard and fast smacks
resulting in it laying on the floor in small pieces, Roy then spits on it
Salamander: come on guy's let's hit the road!
Pat: see ya Ma Dincht!
Ma Dincht: yes it was lovely seeing you again; make sure
you pop around again soon
Roy: dumb cow I've seen more intelligence in a peanut!
They left the house
Pat: did somebody pick up that Sisqo C.D?
Salamander: what you like that Fucker?
Pat: yeah me and him got a thing going on, ya know?
Salamander: quick get him he's a Sisqo lover
Roy pull's out his baseball bat and starts hitting over
the head until he was dead
Salamander: Frank get the god damn car
Frank got the car and they ran over him a few times
leaving him mangled on the pavement.
Meanwhile Zell walks into his front room
Zell: shit Ma what's happened?
Ma Dincht: I had a few friends over, ever so lovely,
polite a wish you would be more like them Zell
Zell: our house, it's..it's wrecked! This is the second
time now Ma it's getting out of hand!
Ma Dincht: don't you ever speak to me like that now get
to your room and don't come down to you'll sorry!
Zell: sorry?
Ma Dincht looks aound the trashed front room
Ma Dincht: have you made this mess Zell
Zell: Ma it was those dick heads
Ma Dincht: how dare you swear at me those boy's would
never do such a thing. Now you and me are going to the bathroom and you shall
have your mouth washed out with soap!
Zell: get lost! How dumb are you them shit heads have
robbed and trashed our house and you like them?
Zell walked out his front door to see the mangled body
Zell: yuck!
Just them Ma Dincht came running out grabbed him by the
ear and pulled him to the bathroom
Ma Dincht: why don't you be more like those boy's it's people
like YOU! That let our society down!