FINAL FANTASY VII
'A Countdown To Indigestion'
"Yes, its just what I thought."
"What is it doctor?", asked a concerned Cloud.
"I'm afraid your friend Aeris has swallowed a zinc battery."
"A zinc battery?!", exclaimed Barrett. "How the hell does someone swallow a zinc battery?!"
"I bet you five gil you can't swallow this zinc battery!", Yuffie squeaked.
"You're on!", said Aeris enthusiastically as she took the battery from Yuffie and swallowed it. "Five gil please Yuffie!"
"Oh Gawd!", Yuffie sighed.
"Is there anything you can do for her?", wondered Tifa.
"Well, I'm afraid if we don't get that battery out of her stomach, then the zinc fluid inside could leak out and poison her stomach acids, which means she would probably die a painful, horrible death.", the doctor told them.
"Die?! Oh no!", they all exclaimed.
"Can you get it out? The battery, can you get it out?", questioned Cloud.
"I'm sorry, but we no longer have the medical equipment to perform such operations. You can blame Professor Hojo for that."
"So... we just watch her die?!", Tifa gasped.
"...I suppose. Good day!", smiled the doctor as he left the room.
"Cloud! We have to do something!", shouted Tifa.
"I guess we could use a pair of tweezers and try to fish it out."
"Cloud! Have you got cloth in your damn ears?! Think rationally!", yelled Barrett.
"Excuse me.", said Cait Sith politely as he walked into the room. "I couldn't help overhearing, but I may have an answer to your problems."
"Go on...", mumbled Cloud.
"Ahem! If I were to use a Mini spell on you guys, then it would shrink you, which would allow you to go *inside* Aeris and safetly retrieve the battery."
"Ew!", they all groaned.
"Of course, you'd need some sort of transport to sustain the pressure...", he continued.
"The Highwind!", Cid bloated. "You can shrink the Highwind! I'd be happy to pilot the thing for you!"
"Alright. I can't say I fully agree with what we're about to do here but... it looks like we have no other choice.", thought Cloud. "Cait Sith! Get ready with that Mini spell! We have no time to loose!"
A few hours later, the whole party, Cloud, Barrett, Tifa and Cid had gathered inside the Highwind. Everyone looked at one another nervously.
"Man, this is gonna suck!", Barrett complained.
"It's either this or sit and wait for Aeris's demise... and I know what I'd rather choose!", said Cloud bravely.
"Okay, you guys all set? I'm gonna shrink you now!", shouted Cait Sith from outside.
Cait Sith powered himself up, and prepared to cast a Mini spell.
"Maybe this isn't such a good idea.", Tifa mumbled. "Cloud, tell him to stop."
But it was too late. A cloud of yellow gas covered the entire Highwind, causing it, and everything onboard, to shrink to tiny proportions.
"What just happened?", whimpered Cloud.
"Oh my God! Look!", Cid screamed.
The party looked out of the cockpit window to see a giant white mountain.
"Where the hell did that come from?!", gasped Cid.
"HEY GUYS!", boomed a voice from outside.
The party began to feel the Highwind being lifted up into the air. A pair of big, black eyes glared right at them.
"Arrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!", Barrett screamed in terror. "A monster!"
"No Barrett! Its just Cait Sith. He shrunk us, remember?", Cloud explained.
"Oh yeah.", laughed Barrett in embarrassment. "Yo Cid! Lets get this heap 'o' junk movin' so we can start the mission!"
"Okay! We have lift off!", yelled Cid, starting up the engine.
The Highwind shot off from Cait Sith's gigantic hand and zoomed into Midgar, making its way to Aeris's house, where the sick girl lay in her bed.
"Slow down, Cid!", Cloud flinched. "Now, how do you suppose we get inside Aeris?"
"Thats simple. We can just go through her nose.", suggested Cid.
"What?!", exclaimed Cloud.
"Yeah. Then we travel to the back of her head, down her throat, into her stomach, get the battery, fly back up, and out through her mouth. Simple!"
"Ew!", the others groaned.
The Highwind flew at breakneck speed into Aeris's house. It flew up the stairs and into her bedroom. There on the bed... was Aeris. Cid piloted the airship, as planned, up into Aeris's nose. Cid turned on the headlights.
"Gross!", said Barrett, trying to hold in his lunch. "Okay, lets get this overwith! Which way to the stomach?"
"Straight down!", laughed Cid, pushing the ship as far as it could go.
The Highwind arrived inside the stomach, where the party could clearly see the zinc battery Aeris had swallowed previously.
"Alright! Here's the plan... We switch on the giant magnet that I attached to the bottom of the Highwind, pick up that old battery and get the hell outta here! Everyone fine with that?", Cid asked, as the party nodded their heads in agreement.
Cid turned on the magnet. Its force managed to safely pull the battery from the stomach acids, removing all danger.
"Woohoo!", they all screamed cheerfully.
Suddenly, Cloud began to feel strange.
"Huh? Whats happening?!"
"Cloud! You're growing!", Tifa gasped, as she too felt herself sprouting up.
"Cid! The Mini spell is wearing off! Get us outta here!", Cloud yelled.
"Good lord! If we were to resume normal size while still inside Aeris, then...", Cid shivered.
Cid rushed to the controls. He desperately tried to shift the Highwind, but it wouldn't budge. The party could do nothing as they grew and grew.
Cait Sith sat comfortably with Aeris at her bedside. When the floor began to shake, he knew he was in trouble. He quickly lept to his feet and made his way out of the room. Once outside the house, he looked up in horror as it exploded, sending debris flying everywhere. When the smoke cleared, he could see the Highwind, as its original size, with the remains of Aeris smothered around the edges. Cloud, Barrett, Tifa and Cid stepped out onto the bridge.
"Oh my God! We killed Aeris!", screamed Cloud.
"We killed Aeris?!", gasped Tifa.
"Yeah, we killed Aeris. We're beasts.", said Cloud calmly.
"Man, I'm hungry! Whats for dinner?", Barrett wondered.
THE END__________
'A Countdown To Indigestion'
"Yes, its just what I thought."
"What is it doctor?", asked a concerned Cloud.
"I'm afraid your friend Aeris has swallowed a zinc battery."
"A zinc battery?!", exclaimed Barrett. "How the hell does someone swallow a zinc battery?!"
"I bet you five gil you can't swallow this zinc battery!", Yuffie squeaked.
"You're on!", said Aeris enthusiastically as she took the battery from Yuffie and swallowed it. "Five gil please Yuffie!"
"Oh Gawd!", Yuffie sighed.
"Is there anything you can do for her?", wondered Tifa.
"Well, I'm afraid if we don't get that battery out of her stomach, then the zinc fluid inside could leak out and poison her stomach acids, which means she would probably die a painful, horrible death.", the doctor told them.
"Die?! Oh no!", they all exclaimed.
"Can you get it out? The battery, can you get it out?", questioned Cloud.
"I'm sorry, but we no longer have the medical equipment to perform such operations. You can blame Professor Hojo for that."
"So... we just watch her die?!", Tifa gasped.
"...I suppose. Good day!", smiled the doctor as he left the room.
"Cloud! We have to do something!", shouted Tifa.
"I guess we could use a pair of tweezers and try to fish it out."
"Cloud! Have you got cloth in your damn ears?! Think rationally!", yelled Barrett.
"Excuse me.", said Cait Sith politely as he walked into the room. "I couldn't help overhearing, but I may have an answer to your problems."
"Go on...", mumbled Cloud.
"Ahem! If I were to use a Mini spell on you guys, then it would shrink you, which would allow you to go *inside* Aeris and safetly retrieve the battery."
"Ew!", they all groaned.
"Of course, you'd need some sort of transport to sustain the pressure...", he continued.
"The Highwind!", Cid bloated. "You can shrink the Highwind! I'd be happy to pilot the thing for you!"
"Alright. I can't say I fully agree with what we're about to do here but... it looks like we have no other choice.", thought Cloud. "Cait Sith! Get ready with that Mini spell! We have no time to loose!"
A few hours later, the whole party, Cloud, Barrett, Tifa and Cid had gathered inside the Highwind. Everyone looked at one another nervously.
"Man, this is gonna suck!", Barrett complained.
"It's either this or sit and wait for Aeris's demise... and I know what I'd rather choose!", said Cloud bravely.
"Okay, you guys all set? I'm gonna shrink you now!", shouted Cait Sith from outside.
Cait Sith powered himself up, and prepared to cast a Mini spell.
"Maybe this isn't such a good idea.", Tifa mumbled. "Cloud, tell him to stop."
But it was too late. A cloud of yellow gas covered the entire Highwind, causing it, and everything onboard, to shrink to tiny proportions.
"What just happened?", whimpered Cloud.
"Oh my God! Look!", Cid screamed.
The party looked out of the cockpit window to see a giant white mountain.
"Where the hell did that come from?!", gasped Cid.
"HEY GUYS!", boomed a voice from outside.
The party began to feel the Highwind being lifted up into the air. A pair of big, black eyes glared right at them.
"Arrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!", Barrett screamed in terror. "A monster!"
"No Barrett! Its just Cait Sith. He shrunk us, remember?", Cloud explained.
"Oh yeah.", laughed Barrett in embarrassment. "Yo Cid! Lets get this heap 'o' junk movin' so we can start the mission!"
"Okay! We have lift off!", yelled Cid, starting up the engine.
The Highwind shot off from Cait Sith's gigantic hand and zoomed into Midgar, making its way to Aeris's house, where the sick girl lay in her bed.
"Slow down, Cid!", Cloud flinched. "Now, how do you suppose we get inside Aeris?"
"Thats simple. We can just go through her nose.", suggested Cid.
"What?!", exclaimed Cloud.
"Yeah. Then we travel to the back of her head, down her throat, into her stomach, get the battery, fly back up, and out through her mouth. Simple!"
"Ew!", the others groaned.
The Highwind flew at breakneck speed into Aeris's house. It flew up the stairs and into her bedroom. There on the bed... was Aeris. Cid piloted the airship, as planned, up into Aeris's nose. Cid turned on the headlights.
"Gross!", said Barrett, trying to hold in his lunch. "Okay, lets get this overwith! Which way to the stomach?"
"Straight down!", laughed Cid, pushing the ship as far as it could go.
The Highwind arrived inside the stomach, where the party could clearly see the zinc battery Aeris had swallowed previously.
"Alright! Here's the plan... We switch on the giant magnet that I attached to the bottom of the Highwind, pick up that old battery and get the hell outta here! Everyone fine with that?", Cid asked, as the party nodded their heads in agreement.
Cid turned on the magnet. Its force managed to safely pull the battery from the stomach acids, removing all danger.
"Woohoo!", they all screamed cheerfully.
Suddenly, Cloud began to feel strange.
"Huh? Whats happening?!"
"Cloud! You're growing!", Tifa gasped, as she too felt herself sprouting up.
"Cid! The Mini spell is wearing off! Get us outta here!", Cloud yelled.
"Good lord! If we were to resume normal size while still inside Aeris, then...", Cid shivered.
Cid rushed to the controls. He desperately tried to shift the Highwind, but it wouldn't budge. The party could do nothing as they grew and grew.
Cait Sith sat comfortably with Aeris at her bedside. When the floor began to shake, he knew he was in trouble. He quickly lept to his feet and made his way out of the room. Once outside the house, he looked up in horror as it exploded, sending debris flying everywhere. When the smoke cleared, he could see the Highwind, as its original size, with the remains of Aeris smothered around the edges. Cloud, Barrett, Tifa and Cid stepped out onto the bridge.
"Oh my God! We killed Aeris!", screamed Cloud.
"We killed Aeris?!", gasped Tifa.
"Yeah, we killed Aeris. We're beasts.", said Cloud calmly.
"Man, I'm hungry! Whats for dinner?", Barrett wondered.
THE END__________