Disclaimer: Not mine, I'm just borrowing them, I promise I'll give them back.
A/N: I don't normally like song fics but my friend was listening to this song and it got my attention. I made her play it about four times in a row so I could learn it. It sounds like it was written for these two. If you've never heard this song I suggest you listen to it and you will understand what I mean.
Need you now – Lady Antebellum : Nate and Sophie
It was too early in the morning for her to be thinking about him, to early for the bottle of red wine beside her to be almost empty. The rain dancing on the window of her London apartment and the deep gray sky gave the illusion of evening, but it was morning if it could be called that.
Sophie hadn't slept last night anymore than she had the night before, or the night before that. Her tear stained cheeks betrayed any wish that he wasn't the reason she was awake and tipsy. She had decided last night after three days of being unable to sleep, and the rare moments she could, his face appearing in her head with that smile that always caught her off guard, that wine was the logical choice.
"Damn that man, damn him to bloody hell," she whispered to an empty apartment.
Picture perfect memories
Scattered all around the floor
Their smiling faces starred back at her from across the room, Parker, Eliot, and Alec all smiling for a camera that neither she nor Nate had noticed at the time. The youth of her three young friends showed in the smiles and a glow in their faces. There was nothing innocent about them, she knew that, had seen it with her own eyes, but she envied the lie anyway.
Yet of the five in the picture only one was haunting her, he wasn't looking at the camera, and neither was she. They had been caught smiling at each other. It was that damn smile the one he gave her when he thought no one else was looking, the one that stopped her heart no matter how many times he did it.
Before she could think better of it she was across the room throwing the picture to the floor. The sound of the glass shattering against the stone brought new tears to her eyes, and in moments she had joined the scattered pieces on the floor.
Reaching for the phone 'cause
I can't fight it anymore
Her finger stung as the glass ripped into her fingers. She was holding it too tightly, but she couldn't let it go. A soft stream of blood tricked across the glass. Her cell phone appeared in her hand from the deep robe's pockets.
She opened the phone and closed it again with a resounding click. After all this time she should no better.
And I wonder if I
Ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time
Who was to say he would even be awake. Or that he would be alone. That thought stung more than the glass still in her trembling hand.
Would it really be so easy for him to forget … forget what she growled to herself. He had never allowed there to be anything more than feelings. So there was nothing to forget. At least not on his side of the coin, but on hers, there were too many things. She didn't want to need him, but every part of her did. Damn him, how could he not know what he did to her.
It's a quarter after one
I'm all alone
And I need you now
Said I wouldn't call
But I've lost all control
And I need you now
And I don't know how
I can do without
I just need you now
The office was quite and dimly lit in the evening light. It would be dark soon, he should get up and turn on the lights that had for some reason never made it on. The shadows danced across the wood floor and he watched them because he didn't know what else to do.
Everyone was gone, Eliot had ushered them out hours ago, and they had left however unwillingly. They watched him with careful eyes because they knew what none of them would say. Even Tara watched him just as carefully as Sophie would have. The grifter was nothing like Sophie, she had none of Sophie's class and none of her strength. So why had his grifter sent them another one … why … because she didn't want to do it anymore. Not that he blamed her; he just missed her more than he could admit.
Another shot of whiskey
Can't stop looking at the door
His chair should be comfortable, but its not. It's too early to be drinking, but he is. It's too early for the bottle to be almost empty, but he's already had to many. He's starring at a closed door knowing that it won't open. She is probably fast asleep in the early light of an English morning, but he can't sleep without seeing her face.
Maybe one more glass with help him forget. Maybe just one more.
Wishing you'd come sweeping
In the way you did before
What would she say if she could see him now? Nothing nice he's certain. Sophie always hated seeing him drink. God what he wouldn't do to see her come in those doors? Just to hear her chastise him for drinking so early in the evening, or for drinking at all. She always tried to save him, her white knight, but he was supposed to be the one saving her. He just didn't know how. He couldn't save her, he couldn't even save himself. That's why she left. He drove her away, he always did.
Her flaring red dress danced in the light and she laughed as she snapped the door shut behind her.
"Hello agent Ford."
Nate closed his eyes and remembered her smile, her laugh as she teased him. She had come straight to him, knowing that he was the one sent to arrest her. They had done this dance a dozen times, and somehow she always managed to escape leaving him dazed and confused.
It was her smile, he had decided it years ago, and it was her smile and her dancing eyes that took a man's breath away. That's what was haunting him. Those eyes, and that smile, it was her in his heart and in his mind. It was always her.
And I wonder if I
Ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time
He'd had the phone in his hand for hours; he wanted to call her, needed to call her. Needed to hear her voice, needed her smile, he needed her. He always had.
Yet how could he tell her that. He let her go, and even when he tried to follow her it had only made things worse. He needed her, but would she even be there. Would she be alone, or was it that easy to start over. Another con, another mark, another game, didn't she know that she had already won this round. He needed her, didn't she know how much he couldn't be without her.
It's a quarter after one
I'm a little drunk
And I need you now
Said I wouldn't call
But I've lost all control
And I need you now
And I don't know how
I can do without
I just need you now
She knew the number by heart, better than her own. She needed to hear his voice. She needed him.
He dialed the number knowing she was probably asleep. He was going to wake her up, but he needed her, needed to hear her voice on the other end.
She tried to push the tears aside he would hear them in her voice, but they were still painted on her face and nothing could stop them from coming. To much wine, to much time, she needed him.
He knew she would hear his voice slur, he knew she would know he had been drinking. Maybe she would be mad, but he would take the anger if that's all she could give. He just knew he needed her.
Whoa, whoa
Guess I'd rather hurt
Than feel nothing at all
Damn the consequences to her heart later when he does it all again. She would pay for that part later.
Damn her anger he would suffer through whatever she threw at him, if only he could hear her voice.
It's a quarter after one
I'm all alone
And I need you now
The line is busy it beeps and beeps, and any chance that she could banish the tears disappears in the night. She drops the phone and hopes it breaks because she doesn't want to think about where he is or who he's with.
Shaking hands pick up a glass of red wine and red lips take another sip. Her finger leaves a bloody print of the glass, but she doesn't see it. She stares at the shards of glass across the floor in front of her and cries.
And I said I wouldn't call
But I'm a little drunk
And I need you now
Nate stares at the phone, wishing it was her voice not a busy signal. He drops the phone and some part of his mind hears it bounce across the floor. He doesn't want to worry about where she is, or who she's with.
He reaches for his glass and downs the rest of it, then pours himself another. Maybe just one more and he will forget how much he loves her. Maybe just one more.
And I don't know how
I can do without
I just need you now
I just need you now
Oh baby, I need you now