Splashin' Fashion!
My first story like this! This isn't really my style, but there is really no other way to write this story! Hope you like it. And, oh yes, I don't own Artemis Fowl, Butler, Juliet, Root, Foaly, Mulch, or Holly. But I do own Molly, which is the only name I found that rhymed with Holly. Well, anyway, here it goes! Please review!
1. Butler
Announcer: And now, Splashin' Fashion, with Holly and Molly! Live from Fowl Manor and the LEP headquarters!
Holly: I'm Holly!
Molly: I'm Molly!
Both: And we have a passion for....... Splashin' Fashion! Uh huh!
Holly: Our first guest today is Butler, a real bodyguard, for..... Bodyguard Fashion!
Butler: Hey, what are you doing here! You're not allowed to ent —
Holly: (sprays with perfume bottle)
Butler: (falls down, unconscious)
Holly: Okay! Now, let's take a look at his outfit! Black shirt, black tie, black jacket, black pants, black shoes, black socks, black shades, and..... black boxers!! Eeeou! Everything is black! (whispers) You know, color was invented a long time ago! (sighs and shakes head) Back to you, Molly!
2. Foaly
Molly: Ookay, I really didn't need to know that last bit. Anyway, here we are with Foaly, a real live centaur! For Horse ..... er, I mean, Centaur Fashion! Now, let's take a look at his –
Foaly: Wait a minute! You aren't supposed to be here!
Molly: (passes crate of carrots)
Foaly: (munching) Which makes you not not supposed to be here! (whinnies) Now, what can I do for you?
Molly: Well, you can put me out of my misery, because your outfit is killing me!
Foaly: What?
Molly: Well, that shirt reading "Endangered Species" is, sooo not cool.
Foaly: But it's true!
Molly: Well, it's true that I can't stop eating Fruit Roll-Ups, but do I write it on my shirt? NO!
Foaly: (inches away)
Molly: And that tinfoil hat has got to go!
Foaly: But it protects me from human spies! They're tracking me, you know!
Molly: (inches away) Aha. Now I have to go put my eyes in the dishwasher. Adios!
Foaly: Sayonara!.... Hold on, why is it called 'Splashin' Fashion'?
Molly: (dumps bucket of water on Foaly and electronic appliances)
Foaly: MY WHOLE SYSTEM! YOU - YOU - YOU! (throws carrot)
Molly: (sighs) Computer nerds. Highly strung. Back to you, Holly!
3. Juliet
Holly: Now, it's time for Crazy Teenager Fashion! With Juliet Butler!
Juliet: I'm not crazy!
Holly: Maybe, but your outfit says differently. That shirt looks makes you look like you have a life vest on! Not pretty!
Juliet: Uh, that is, like, my judo crash vest!
Holly. Uh, huh. Right. Now, those pants –
Juliet: You're, like, asking for it, fairy girl!
Holly: If you mean asking for my eyes cleaned, then yes!
Juliet: (frowns) That wasn't very, like, nice!
Holly: Neither is your face! Just look at that stuff on your eyes. You look like you were punched by two guys with very good aim!
Juliet: That is, like, my super cool glitter green eyeshadow from Preteen magazine!
Holly: Mmm. Maybe you should sue them!
Juliet: Grrrr. You know, I still haven't practiced my piledriver on anyone!
Holly: Umm, yeah. Got to go! (runs away)
Juliet: Wait, why on earth is it, like, called 'Splashin' Fashion'?
Holly: Oh, how could I forget? (dumps bucket of water on Juliet)
Juliet: Hey! My new clothes!
Holly: Yikes! Don't remind me! Now, back to you, Molly!
4. Mulch
Molly: Ookay. Now, it's time for.... Convict Fashion! With Mulch Diggums! Now, those horizontal stripes just make you look a bit....... fat.
Mulch: But, I have to wear this!
Molly: Excuses, excuses. Save it for the fashion police!
Mulch: More police? (shivers) (stops) If I gave you five dollars, will you buy yourself a brain?
Molly: No, but if I gave you five dollars, will you buy yourself a haircut! Yikes!
Mulch: Hey, I can't help it!
Molly: Okay, got to go throw up! Bye!
Mulch: Wait, you still haven't said why it's called 'Splashin' Fashion'!
Molly: Oh, yes! (dumps bucket of water on Mulch) There, now at least you're clean!
Mulch: My only clothes!
Molly: No need to thank me! Back to you, Holly!
5. Artemis
Holly: Now, it's time for Geeky Rich Genius Kid Fashion! With Artemis Fowl!
Artemis: (dangerously) Hey!
Holly: Let's see, Armani suit, Armani loafers, Armani shades---
Artemis: What is it that you want?
Holly: Like, to scream! That outfit is soo not cool! (shakes Artemis) You're twelve, not thirty!! Live a little!
Artemis: (rubs temples) Aha. Butler, do we have any tranquilizer hypodermics left?
Holly: Uh.... got to go. (runs out of room)
Artemis: Come back! I believe you have not told me why it is called 'Splashin' Fashion'?
Holly: (smiles) Oh, yes, I almost forgot! (dumps huge bucket of water on Artemis)
Artemis: My new suit! Ruined!
Holly: Oh, that felt good! Back to you, Molly!
6. Root
Molly: Okay, now we're at our last segment ....... Red-Faced Boss Fashion! With Julius Root!
Root: It's Commander! And I am not red in the face!
Molly: (holds up mirror)
Root: Oh. Is it that noticeable?
Molly: (nods sadly) Now, that suit! It doesn't exactly say, 'Hello there, glad to see you came in to work today!'
Root: It isn't supposed to.
Molly: And it is a bit tight around the belly, as you can see!
Root: Grrrr. It is not!
Molly: (holds up mirror)
Root: Oh. Is it that noticeable?
Molly: (nods sadly)
Root: Grrrrr! You annoy me to a point where only Holly has ventured!
Holly: HEY!
Molly: That wasn't very nice! (looks at watch) Well, I've got to go! Ciao!
Root: WAIT, YOU........ WHY IS THIS MINDLESS SHOW CALLED 'SPLASHIN' FASHION'?
Molly: You asked for it. (dumps bucket of water on Root) Well, that's all the time we have for today! Remember, I'm Molly!
Holly: And I'm Holly!
Both: And we have a passion for.... Splashin' Fashion! Uh huh!
Root: Hey, wait! YOU"RE FIRED!
Molly: But I don't work here!
Root: Would you like a job at Recon?
Molly: Wow, would I!
Root: You're fired!
Artemis: You'll be hearing from my lawyer!
Juliet: (looks in compact) You really think it's ugly?
Foaly: (throws more carrots) You ruined our whole security system! ..... You really think the hat isn't cool?
Mulch: I do not need a haircut!
Butler: I know where you live!
All: Get back here, you! Wait! Hello? Hello! Hello? Hello! Hello???
-end of script- :)