Dove and Shatter
Pansy meant to take something from the Ravenclaw girl. She meant to rip off those radish earrings, grind them into the mud and i take /i . She hated the other girl, hated the soft rambles that went on and on in the background. Hated how Luna Lovegood could smile when she knew what others said about her. Pansy could barely hold back despair-turned-frustration-turned-anger when people commented on her looks, much less her attitude. Pansy hated how Luna moved through the world without having to live in it.
"You fucking slut," Pansy snapped, she hated how Luna just regarded her, for the first time with silence. It wasn't a half-baked tale of some Nargle or whatever she went on about. The blonde girl just shifted, meeting Pansy's eyes, unflinching.
"…I'm not," It was the words of someone who'd been accused before. She slowly rolled the words from her mouth, like blowing bubbles or eating cotton candy. They were soft and Pansy hated that. She hated Luna's softness and her voice and the way that her words came out. She wanted them to come out like rocks, pointy and hard. The two words that tried to fight against the rumors of last year. The 'Harry Potter took her for pity'. And the 'she's not good for anything else, but damn is she easy'. And the 'She's called creamy because of how easy she is to spread'. It wasn't that Luna didn't live in this world, she just chose to ignore parts of it, but she was too smart to let it get completely away from her. Luna wasn't crazy, she was just tired of being hurt.
"Shutup," Pansy drew back her hand to hit Luna, watching as the girl leaned against the wall, slid to the floor, her books spilling out of her bag. Watched the two large blue eyes lower, to focus on Pansy's shoes. Defeated. If you were weird enough, people left you alone and the whispers were behind your back. Luna had learned that lesson early on in life. Avoidance hurt less than rebellion.
"…what do you want?" Luna's voice was quiet, still rolling and colored pale yellow. The only edge it gained was curving as her voice lilted when she spoke next, "…Do you want what i they /i always want? Where they'll stand in dark parts of the hallway and lean over and pretend to kiss with their hands down their pants? When they say it's for i love /i ? Or do you want to make yourself feel better by hurting something? You're too scared to hurt yourself, or… are you looking for something you can take from me and hold close to yourself? To fill a hole that you believe you never should have?" She strung the words on a kite when she spoke, carefully guiding it through the clouds, making sure not to tangle the string. She focused on the green of Pansy's school tie, and how it was laying so neatly and peacefully next to the silver. Like siblings, tangled and calm.
Luna was brilliant, she knew why people did what they did. Underneath layers of stories and things she may or may not have believed, Luna knew what motivated humans. Sometimes, though, she'd prefer to live in a world where the worst things she had to worry about were brain sucking spirits, rather than her own classmates. Or maybe she just chose one reality over the next, because if they were both a reality why did it matter which one she lived in?
"Shutup," Pansy said again, only this time it was because Luna was right. She could feel herself moving to Luna's rhythm, gentle rolling. Pansy hated it, the softness, the steadiness, the sureness in which Luna spoke. She hit the blonde anyway, reveling in the brief feeling of her knuckles against flesh. A flare of power and she reached for the collar of Luna's shirt, "…Why not?" She growled in response to Luna's accusations. Even if they were true, it didn't mean she couldn't i take /i and i hurt /i . And take and hurt again. She wanted to cover up the 'Malfoy's bitch' and 'Ugly little pug faced whore' with someone else's pain. Misery loves company, after all, and the easiest way to get company was to make someone miserable.
Pansy wanted to rip Luna apart from the inside. To peel back the blue irises and see terror and loneliness. Pansy wanted to make Luna feel how she did, alone, worthless… torn apart. She slammed her hand into Luna, spreading her, watching her face. She watched the blonde head roll around, limp, and met glassy eyes. Luna was smiling a little, the corners of her lips turned upwards, like she knew something Pansy didn't.
"Shutup, stop laughing," The Slytherin girl hissed, wiping her hand on Luna's robes. She drew back when Luna grabbed her wrist, leaning over eagerly.
"… you should watch out for the fanged gusswould that lives in the walls at school. He likes to taunt people, he likes to drive people insane with their flats," She pursed her lips as she spoke, thoughtful, or kissing the air, before Pansy pushed her away. Luna's head bounced against the wall, and she was still looking at Pansy, cheek to the floor. "…did you get what you wanted?" She smiled. And Pansy fled.
Luna sat up, touching the back of her head, there was a lump, but no blood. Slowly she stood, straightened her robes, making a face at the sticky moist spot and tucking her scarf around her neck again, letting it dangle over the patch to try and hide it. The books were replaced in her bag and she continued walking down the hallway. Pansy couldn't take what Luna no longer had.