DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Mary Sue Must Die! Plan #1- The Direct Approach (Two To The Head, You Know They're Dead)
"... and finally, I want to welcome our newest student to Hogwarts. May I present Ravinia Gryfonn!" Wild applause greeted Professor Dumbledore's announcement. "She will be joining our sixth year students in Gryffindor. I hope you all make her feel very welcome."
Ravinia flicked her auburn hair out of the way with a practiced gesture and gathered her robes around her as she took a seat in between Harry and Hermione.
"Hullo," she breathed airily "My name is Ravinia."
"Erm... Yes... Professor Dumbledore just said that." Harry was somewhat puzzled. Did she not listen?
His suspicions were confirmed during the Welcome Feast as Harry, Ron and Hermione learned more about Ravinia than any sane person could possibly want to know. The most notable things were, of course, that she was the Heir of Gryffindor ("Of course, the name has been somewhat corrupted over the years, but you can just hear the similarities, can't you?"), she could do wandless magic, was a Animagus ("The youngest ever to attempt the spell."), and got the highest possible score on her OWLs. She had even attemped her NEWTs, but she had "only gotten an 'E'". Nobody else could get a word in edgewise.
On the was back to the dormitories, Hermione expressed her disgust. "Why is she even here? Shouldn't she be off being the perfect little genius someplace else?"
Ron sniggered. "Somebody's jealous!"
"I am not jealous, Ron!"
But by the December, everybody was jealous, and sick of Ravinia's perfection. When the students returned from Christmas holidays, Ron motioned the others to join him in a secluded corner. He revealed a long thin, package, opening it to display...
"Ron! That's illegal!"
"It is? My Dad had it in the garage. Are you sure?"
"Yes!"
Harry picked up the gun. "Hermione, we could get rid of Ravinia once and for all with this," he said thoughtfully.
"Yeah!"
"Harry! Ron!"
Harry, still grasping the gun, looked around the corner. "I hear footsteps. What luck." He stepped around the corner, took aim and fired.
Ravinia spectacularly failed to die, gush blood, fall over, or indeed do any of the things normally associated with being shot.
"That's what I was trying to tell you," said Hermione, exasperated. "Guns won't work in Hogwarts. Honestly, if either of you read Hogwarts, A History you would know that."
Harry and Ron looked at each other. They would need a new plan.
A/N This is my first submission here, and it has the dubious honor of being my first fanfic ever. Suggestions, concrit, squeeage (perhaps I'm too hopeful here) and opinons are all welcome, as well as any thoughts on whether I should continue it or leave it as a one-shot. For those of you who don't know what a Mary Sue is, please consult the Wikipedia, or more amusingly, Encyclopedia Dramatica.