Meant to Live
I sit here, alone, in the darkness. None of my friends notice I'm missing, none is looking for me. No one notices I'm in the Great Hall after nine o'clock, though it is forbidden. And no one can tell how I'm feeling right now, for no one has suffered such a great loss as I have: my parents died for me to live, and so did my godfather. Cedric died because I let him touch the portkey. It is all my fault. Mine.
"None of this is your fault, Harry! It was their own choice, you didn't make them do anything! And if they sacrificed themselves for you to live, for you to be happy, why don't you do so?" The words of Ginny still linger in my memory. But so does Sirius's smile.
"You don't have to forget them! What's more, you MUSTN'T forget them! Just...go on with your life!" Hermione doesn't understand. She is a smart girl, but she doesn't know the feeling that chases me down through my nightmares. And I don't want her to.
The Mirror of Erised. The Mirror of Desire. I must find it. I must see my parents, I must see Sirius!
I run through the dark hallways, I seek into empty classrooms. I search for hours, but there is nothing to be found. I enter the Room of Requirement. All I find is a set of old runes, carved into leaden stone. Runes? Why runes?
"Runes can be used not only as divinatory objects or antique writing, but as well to recall spirits of the Otherworld. There is great danger, though!"
Yes, now I remember! This is what Firenze said during class! That's why McGonagall was so angry with him: for talking about matters that didn't concern our lessons, except for the students that were taking the Ancient Runes class! I wonder... But how does rune casting work? Hermione... Hermione must have told me something about it... But what was it? There was something about taking out my wand and wave it three times clockwise over the runes... Now I have to say... "Animo!"
What's up with all this blue light? Where does it come from? Wait! These are...these are my parents! And...and Sirius!
Mom is making me signs... It's like she'd want me to follow her... "I'm coming, mother!"
I mount invisible stairs on the way to the darkness. I follow my mother, the only light in the eternal night. Father and Sirius are fading away, in the unseen.
"Where are we going to, Mom?" She turns to me, smiles, but says nothing. She continues her way through the darkness. I stop.
"No!", I hear myself saying, "I'll go back!"
I wait for an answer, but Mom doesn't turn back. She keeps going, and with her, all the light.
"Wait! How do I get back?", my own question echoes through my head. Suddenly I feel like falling extremely quickly from a very high place.
"Harry! Harry, are you O.K.?" I see Ron's worried face.
"Where am I?"
"In the Great Hall, mate! Guess you fell asleep!"
Maybe. But now I know that I was meant to live. And fight. Fight for life.
A/N: What do you think? I was quite depressed when I began writing this one... REVIEW!!!
JessieRose: Thanks! ^_^
mrs muffin man: Thanks! I didn't make it a dream, however, but Harry also considers this option because he's a bit confused.
jbProngs: Thanks a lot! Maybe I will! ^_^
Mery-Black: Thanks a lot! Be sure I will! (^_^)
I sit here, alone, in the darkness. None of my friends notice I'm missing, none is looking for me. No one notices I'm in the Great Hall after nine o'clock, though it is forbidden. And no one can tell how I'm feeling right now, for no one has suffered such a great loss as I have: my parents died for me to live, and so did my godfather. Cedric died because I let him touch the portkey. It is all my fault. Mine.
"None of this is your fault, Harry! It was their own choice, you didn't make them do anything! And if they sacrificed themselves for you to live, for you to be happy, why don't you do so?" The words of Ginny still linger in my memory. But so does Sirius's smile.
"You don't have to forget them! What's more, you MUSTN'T forget them! Just...go on with your life!" Hermione doesn't understand. She is a smart girl, but she doesn't know the feeling that chases me down through my nightmares. And I don't want her to.
The Mirror of Erised. The Mirror of Desire. I must find it. I must see my parents, I must see Sirius!
I run through the dark hallways, I seek into empty classrooms. I search for hours, but there is nothing to be found. I enter the Room of Requirement. All I find is a set of old runes, carved into leaden stone. Runes? Why runes?
"Runes can be used not only as divinatory objects or antique writing, but as well to recall spirits of the Otherworld. There is great danger, though!"
Yes, now I remember! This is what Firenze said during class! That's why McGonagall was so angry with him: for talking about matters that didn't concern our lessons, except for the students that were taking the Ancient Runes class! I wonder... But how does rune casting work? Hermione... Hermione must have told me something about it... But what was it? There was something about taking out my wand and wave it three times clockwise over the runes... Now I have to say... "Animo!"
What's up with all this blue light? Where does it come from? Wait! These are...these are my parents! And...and Sirius!
Mom is making me signs... It's like she'd want me to follow her... "I'm coming, mother!"
I mount invisible stairs on the way to the darkness. I follow my mother, the only light in the eternal night. Father and Sirius are fading away, in the unseen.
"Where are we going to, Mom?" She turns to me, smiles, but says nothing. She continues her way through the darkness. I stop.
"No!", I hear myself saying, "I'll go back!"
I wait for an answer, but Mom doesn't turn back. She keeps going, and with her, all the light.
"Wait! How do I get back?", my own question echoes through my head. Suddenly I feel like falling extremely quickly from a very high place.
"Harry! Harry, are you O.K.?" I see Ron's worried face.
"Where am I?"
"In the Great Hall, mate! Guess you fell asleep!"
Maybe. But now I know that I was meant to live. And fight. Fight for life.
A/N: What do you think? I was quite depressed when I began writing this one... REVIEW!!!
JessieRose: Thanks! ^_^
mrs muffin man: Thanks! I didn't make it a dream, however, but Harry also considers this option because he's a bit confused.
jbProngs: Thanks a lot! Maybe I will! ^_^
Mery-Black: Thanks a lot! Be sure I will! (^_^)