The Life of the Akatsuki
Authors note: Hello ppl, my name is Isorininja and I am the creator of this fic. I actually got some of the crack ideas from AJLunarWolf, so I got to give credit.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, the Akatsuki, or anything else that is ownable in this fanfic. If the Akatsuki say they own something not theirs, I don't know anything.
Chapter 1
"OMG, I'm soooo bored! It's been forever since we've seen any Jinchûriki." Deidara said. All the other Akatsuki agreed.
"That's exactly why I need you to go shopping for me, Deidara." Pein, the Akatsuki leader said.
"You're kidding right?"
"No. Besides, I thought you wanted to go to the new Super Wal-Mart?"
"Well yeah, I do want to go, but I have no money..."
"And why can't you just use your clay things to steal the shit?"
"I could do that...un..."
"Here's the list of everything we need." Pein handed Deidara the shopping list. Deidara looked over it for a moment.
"What the hell? Why the hell do we need twinkies...and bug spray? WTF?"
"Look, just go get the stuff. I'm sure Wal-Mart won't miss some of their stuff."
"Fine whatever."
"Oh, oh, can I go to?" Kisame asked.
"Thats a great idea. I'm sure Deidara will need help..."
"The hell I will!" Deidara interrupted.
"...if you run into a Jinchûriki." Pein finished.
Two hours later...
"Why the hell did they build Wal-Mart exactly two hours away from our hideout?"
"Yay, fieldtrip to Wal-Mart!"
"And why the hell...holy shit, this Wal-Mart is huge!"
"So, yeah, I'm going to the section with the video games and shit so..." Kisame said.
"Not without me you're not!" Deidara said, chasing Kisame to what we all know is called the Electronics Section.
"Wow, look at all these games!" Deidara said when they got there.
"I want all of them...except Cooking Mama. That game sucks!"
"But I wonder if Itachi would want it? He can't ever cook...un." Deidara remembered the pile of crap that was suppose to be spaghetti. They had been forced to eat it.
"Deidara, listen to you! You're talking as if video games are educational!"
"Well, some are..."
"But not Cooking Mama! I bet World of Warcraft teaches you more than Cooking Mama does!"
"And how would you know? We don't have internet, or a computer, incase you forgot that you're the one who destroyed it."
"That wasn't my fault...oh whatever, lets just take a couple of these DSi things and some games."
"Okay, and how do you expect us to get past the alarms?"
"Not us. Your clay birds can fly through the doors to the outside. That way the stupid greeter doesn't suspect anything."
"Did you really think of that?"
"No, I read your fanmails and someone asked why you didn't steal from stores, then they said something like what I just said."
"I'm gonna kill you for reading my fanmail..."
"And someone called you short too."
"WHAT? What right do they have to call me short?"
"Deidara, calm down, I was just joking about the 'short' thing."
"Wait...so really you just called me short...I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"
"No, don't kill me! I don't want to...hey, look, it's the Nine Tails Jinchûriki kid!...And he's got the last copy of Pokémon!" Deidara looked and saw that Kisame was right, all the Pokémon games for the DS were gone...
"Get him! I want the Pokémon game!" Deidara said.
Yeah, I know that this chapter was kinda short, but I hope you thought it was funny. OMG, Kisame loves beer...anyway, will Naruto be able to get away from the Akatsuki...'course their obviously not after the Nine Tails...unless you count the Ninetails on Pokémon...LOL!