Author's note: First Thor fanfic. It's been a while since I published my last story. Personal tragedy precipitated a writer's block that could only be cured by Tom Hiddleston and his magnificent Loki. I hope I'll do justice to this character and others in Marvel movies universe.

This the first of three (tentatively) stories. I hope you enjoy it. English is not my first language, I beta it as much as I can.

Disclaimer: I do not own Thor characters, OC are mine, names are from mythology and names generators online.

This story takes place a few weeks after The Dark World, Loki is impersonating Odin and Thor is back in Midgard with Jane.

1. That it should come to this

Loki jumped out of bed at the first knock on the door. He ran to stop anyone on the other side from opening it.

"My liege?"

Loki rolled his eyes. Nym, Odin's personal assistant, seemed never to go to bed. Loki cleared his throat and tried his best Odin voice. "What is the matter? Speak!" He covered his mouth with a hand. Scaring the poor girl was one of the highlights of impersonating the Allfather.

"We have received a message from Etzil," Nym stammered.

"Etzil?" Loki whispered. "Who do we know in Etzil?" His mind was making a brief review of their family tree while Nym went on with the message.

"It's your brother, Allfather, Lodur. He says he will come in two days."

Loki felt weak all of a sudden. He was in no condition for guests, especially distant relatives. He dismissed the servant with his last breath and went back to bed. Everything had worked so well after he came back from Svartalfheim. He had assumed Odin's role with all his might; no one suspected treachery, even Thor was satisfied with his fatherly words.

Suddenly, his perfect little world had begun to crumble. The wound he had received in the last battle was not healing, and he could not keep his Odin illusion for too long. People had started to talk about the Allfather's condition. He looked sick, or sad… How about pained? Loki exhaled. As if all of that were not enough, his uncle –or Thor's uncle, more accurately, was coming to visit Odin. Would he notice any difference? Certainly, Lodur had not seen his brother in a long time, but Loki's impersonation was getting weaker. If they noticed hesitation in his demeanor, it would be the end of the cozy life.

He closed his eyes, gathering strength to produce Odin's face and body. Loki contemplated his magic in the mirror and for a moment, it seemed to work fine. Then, the image disappeared slowly. In its place, there was Loki; his hair had lost its shine, his eyes were glassy, circled by dark shades. He did not remember being so pale and thin. Waves of pain hit him intermittently, leaving little time for him to rest.

"Mother, I'm dying," he whispered, staring at the blood stain in his shirt. It was bigger than this morning, he thought. Impersonating Odin all day long was exhausting. Loki was not sure for how long he could keep it up.

Fortunately, the night had come and no one expected the Allfather to solve their problems after hours. Loki took off his shirt and threw it on the floor. He would take care of it in the morning. For now, he just wanted to drop in bed and sleep. Maybe this would be the night when the bad dreams would stop; the night he would not wake up crying for Frigga.

He stretched, but the pain began to pound as soon as he put his head on the pillow.

Thor woke up, gasping for air. It took him a moment to understand that the pain was only in his mind and not in his body. He sat up very slowly, trying not to disturb Jane. She had been putting up with his nightmares for almost two weeks now. Her patience seemed endless.

Thor took a deep breath and she opened her eyes.

"Again?" she said in a sigh.

He nodded slightly. "It was nothing, I am sorry."

Jane sat up, rubbing her eyes. "Thor, it's been three nights in a row."

"I'm sorry-"

"Don't be," she said, offering him the glass of water from her night table. "I worry about you. Would you like to see a doctor?"

"Oh, no," Thor took a sip of water and coughed. "I'm fine, I don't need a healer. Besides, there is little Mitgardian healers can do for a-"

"God?" She grinned. "Don't underestimate our resources."

"I was going to say, an Asgardian. We are a little different." He sat at the edge of the bed, placing his feet on the floor. He grunted, rubbing his face.

Jane came around the other side and put a hand on his knee. "Do you want to talk about it?"

He stood up and started to pace around the room; one hand on his neck and his eyes closed. "It's always the same dream, Jane."

She sighed. "Listen, my mother used to work at crazy hours. I was basically raised by my grandmother. She was my best friend, playing with me, teaching me stuff..." her eyes watered with the memories. "After she died, I dreamed she came back and-"

"No, no. You do not understand. Where I come from, dreams mean something; premonitions, omens… I see Loki-"

"Thor, Loki died. We saw him; he exhaled his last breath in your arms. You're just mourning."

"Loki hated me, why would I dream about him?" He reached for his shirt. "Something is not right, Jane."

"Where are you going?"

"Home."

"Wait, what?" Jane put on her nightgown. "It's past midnight."

Thor snorted. "It's the best hour, if we do not want to disturb the neighbors with Heimdall's rainbow." He turned to see the anxiety in his girlfriend's eyes. Thor came to sit next to her and took her chin in his hand. "I will be back soon. I just need to see that everything is all right in my realm. Allfather-"

"It won't take you another two years?"

Thor smiled. "I will be back as soon as I talk to my father, I promise."

"Then, go; before I regret it." Jane smiled too. She saw him stand up tall and strong. His faithful Mjiolnir came from the closet right to his hand. Thor looked ready to leave. But he did not. She frowned, and then, she sighed. "You need me to give you a ride." He nodded shyly. She rolled her eyes and went for the car keys in the kitchen.

"Lie still, it is almost done."

Loki clenched his teeth, while the old woman worked on his wound. He counted the cracks on the ceiling and the walls; the holes on the ragged curtains, anything to keep his mind away from the pain. "This cabin is falling apart, Ulrika" he panted.

"You came in the middle of the night, asking for my help and all you can do is insulting my house?" the woman snorted. "Certainly, it is not the healing room in your palace of gold." She limped to a cabinet and grabbed some flasks. "And yet, Odin's son prefers to come here."

"I'm not-!" Loki made a sudden movement and the pain tore him inside. "I am not his son…"

"For every purpose you seem to be," the woman came back to the table and mixed some powders together in a towel. She ignored his grunts as she tied it up on his side. "This is as much as I can do." She helped him to sit up and began to gather her things.

Loki stayed still while the pain settled. He looked at the floor and exhaled. "Am I dying?"

Ulrika shook her head. "Immortals, the longer you live, the more afraid you are of dying."

"This wound should have healed weeks ago. Why is it not healing?" Loki slid off the table, slowly recovering his balance.

"Dark elves had dark magic. Their ways were lost in the ancient battles. My knowledge does not go that far. That spear must have been poisoned, or cursed." She glanced at him and shrugged. "Instead of asking why you have not healed, you should ask why you are still alive."

Loki frowned. "And you know the answer to that?"

"I see it in your aura, my lord. You have come to see me for more reasons than healing your body."

Loki bent forward to meet her in the eye. "How good are you at foreseeing the future?"

"I am as good as the best volva in your realm."

"You're the only volva in this realm, Ulrika." He paced around. "Odin's brother, Lodur, is about to arrive. I need to know how much he knows, will I be able to keep this going?"

Ulrika laughed and pointed at the bloody cloth in the basin. "Well, he is not coming to pay respects to your memory."

"That does not answer my question, old woman. Is my life in danger?"

Ulrika stared at him for a moment. "You are not strong enough to substitute for your father. At this rate, you will destroy yourself. You are closer to the land of the dead than you think."

Loki did not even blink. "Oh, sure; and I'll be missed greatly."

Ulrika shook her head. "The realm misses you already. There were prayers in the temples. They remember your name in war songs. Everybody was impressed by the stories that your brother Thor brought from Svartalfheim. Odin cried…"

"Yes, the funeral could not have gone better if I had planned it myself; which I did." He smiled at the memories. Then, he took a purposeful breath. "It was nice while it lasted. But now, I suppose things have changed and I have to move on."

The old woman shrugged. "It is too late. Someone is about to uncover your secret tonight."

"So be it," he sighed. "Once they know the truth, there will not be much to tell."

"Haven't you found your answer yet?" Ulrika frowned.

Loki sat on a chair, resting his elbows on the table. "It's gone," he shook his head. "I searched but the memory is not there anymore."

"Do you want me to seek again?" She almost touched his temples with both hands but Loki jerked away.

"Don't you dare, witch! I have more pain than I can bear." Loki got up and walked to the door.

"Where are you going?"

"To the palace, I need to buy me some time before everything crumbles to the ground."

tbc

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