Summary (I am terrible at these, sorry): You, Fem!Douchebag, move into town and quickly get sucked into a game created by the neighborhood boys. Hiding your identity as a girl, you're able to make friends-including a crush-and progress through the game. This story details your story throughout the game and after.

SPOILER ALERT: This fan fiction in the initial chapters branch off of the storyline set forth in the game South Park: The Stick of Truth. If you're planning on playing it and don't want specific aspects of the storyline to be spoiled, don't read.

Pairings featured: Fem!Douchebag x Stan Marsh *main*, Wendy Testaburger x Stan Marsh (Stendy) , Wendy Testaburger x Token Black, Butters x Kenny (Bunny).

A/N: I wanted to try something a little different for this story. Most of my other stories delve very quickly into the smut (which some people love), however I wanted to take my time and really develop a storyline for this and practice character progression. This is my first time doing a story like this. The rating will be listed as "M" for later chapters. As always, reviews are both helpful and encouraging!

Fem!Douchebag will be left at a very vague description because I want you to assume the role as her. The only descriptions given will be mentioned in the story, however the first one is not: Fem!Douchebag starts off in a baggy white shirt.

This takes place in their teen years rather than childhood.

This is my second day in this town and a lot of shit has already gone down. I didn't even have time to process the fact that I was just probed by a group of aliens before the grand wizard or whatever the hell he calls himself came barging through my door and bringing me to his "kingdom" to talk about 'the stick'. Apparently the elves had taken it in the night, which is completely against the rules-apparently. I still have no idea what is going on with this game. I'm also baffled at the fact that none of the guys realize I'm a girl yet, maybe it's the face paint...sure, we'll go with that. They all seem nice enough...it'd be a shame if I lost out on hanging out with them just because I'm a girl; I'm not sure if I'll ever tell them.

A whole lecture and a half later I find myself going to Tweak Bros. Coffee getting some dark roast coffee to conform with the nonconformists, what a joke. The quest seemed simple enough, so I can honestly say I didn't expect getting ambushed by the elves outside. I went along with them pretty easily, I mean I've been more in my mind than the game anyway so what did they expect, a full fledged battle? There's nothing for me to fight for.

We made it to the Elven Kingdom, or whatever. The king began his own lecture on about how I've been lied to and all this other crap that I really don't care about. Truthfully, the only reason I was even playing was because I enjoyed the company and it got me away from my unbearable parents. That's it. However here I am, listening to some wannabe elf king 'tell me how it is'. Don't get me wrong, he seems nice enough but he needs to make his speeches 20 words or less if he wants someone of our age to listen.

As he drones on, I noticed someone coming from behind him. He was at least 6 inches taller than me, had very light tan smooth skin, silky raven hair that framed his face and the most intense brown eyes I've ever seen. Needless to say, he was very much my type. His face was incredibly focused on the king as he gave his speech, you could really tell he was eating up all of the guy's words.

...Ok, I guess I'll consider taking this a little more seriously.

I guess I had stared at him for a little too long because he seemed to have noticed, turning to me, raising a brow inquisitively and then giving a quick side smile as he stuck out his hand to shake. "Name's Stan, and yours?" My breath caught in my throat and I froze as I shook his hand. I couldn't speak, if I did they all would know I'm a girl. Thankfully a random elf soldier interrupted saying that I think I'm too good to talk and that they call me "Douchebag". Stan chuckled "Well alright, Douchebag. I don't exactly trust you yet because you're still between our kingdom and fatasses' but if you'd like to help me with a personal quest I'd be willing to accept you into the kingdom." I nodded. Stan lit up at my response, exclaiming "Great! So you'll help me get back my phone from the She-Ogre?!" I nodded again. "Awesome, dude! Let's go!" He started off without me, almost reaching the king's back door as he looked over his shoulder and motioned for me to follow him. "C'mon dude, she's at my house...But let's make a quick stop first."

We quietly began our walk down the snow covered pathway. It was kind of awkward because we just met and nobody was talking, but I wasn't exactly in a position to talk in the first place unless I wanted to give myself up. After a few minutes, Stan began to talk. "So uh, you just moved here right? You like it?"

A moment passes as he scratches the back of his neck uncomfortably. "Oh yeah, I forgot you don't exactly talk. Well, I guess I can talk enough for the both of us. This place is pretty weird, I'm sure you've seen some shit already." I inwardly cringed at the memories from the alien ship. "Yeah, you've seen some shit. I saw that face." We both laughed, but by the time we were done Stan was giving me an odd look and I raised my brow questioning him. "Oh-uh, you just have an interesting laugh. It's nice." I cursed myself in my head for allowing him to hear my voice, thankfully he just assumed I have a weird laugh. We almost made it down the street as he started again.

"Oh, so you're probably wondering where we're going. Uh, the playground has a bunch of health potions and stuff. The She-Ogre is pretty brutal, I'm pretty sure just her breath can kill you." he laughs. "We'll um, we'll be there soon enough."

As we neared the playground I saw a giant pirate ship play area with a little boy dressed as a pirate on the top deck. "Ahoy, Maplebeard!" Stan suddenly shouts as we pass, waving. "Ahoy, Stan!" the boy yells back in an adorable toddler voice, returning the gesture.

"That was cute." I stated, quickly covering my mouth hoping he didn't hear me. Sure enough his head snapped towards me in shock. "D-did you say something, dude?" I shook my head at the raven haired boy. "Hm, that was weird. I could've swore you said something, guess I'm starting to hear shit too now" he apologetically chuckled. "Well, here we are!" And surely enough, here we were, in front of vending machines. They didn't really even try with this 'health potion' shit, huh?

After we restocked our inventories with what was needed, we swiftly walked back toward's Stan's house. "So, you're with fatasses' faction, huh? I can't imagine why, he's a manipulative asshole. You're new, so I don't expect you to know that but take it from someone who's a...'close friend' of his-he's using you." He suddenly looked at my expression, then rose his hands apologetically. "Oh, hey! Sorry, I know it's a lot to hear at once especially from someone you just met. He was one of the first people you talked to when you got here, right? I understand if you don't believe me, dude, I just want you to keep an open mind. I think the Elven Kingdom would suit you better." We continued a little further until Stan suddenly exclaimed, "Oh hey, we're here dude!"

As we entered the dark green house and approached the stairs, Stan stopped and turn towards me, mere inches from my face. He put a reassuring hand on my shoulder, tilting his head in confusion at it for a split second before shaking it off and facing me again. "Nothing can prepare you for this battle. If I die, tell the guys I fought bravely." It was almost endearing how seriously he took his role. We tip toed up the stairs and over to the door, bursting through it with force.

On a bed was a menacing older girl playing with a phone. "GIVE ME BACK MY iPHONE, DEMON!" Stan shouts. "You little turd..." the older girl hisses. "I brought help, let's see you try to take us both!" he yelled in response. The girl began roaring, lunging at us-I can understand why they called her the 'She-Ogre' now.

Suddenly we were in the heat of battle. Discuses and bloody tampons were thrown left and right. The She-Ogre seemed to target me consistently, but Stan always had my back and gave me healing and cure potions even if he needed them himself. I wasn't exactly the most experienced, so I appreciated that he was looking out for me like that.

The beast was almost down, but it was her turn now. As expected she came over to pummel me, but I was already preparing to block her. I blocked her first blow but slipped on the second. She began beating me down harder and harder. "DOUCHEBAG, NO!" I heard Stan screamed as I began to lose consciousness.

I began to regain consciousness at the smell of a delicious taco being waved in my face. As I opened my eyes I saw Stan hovering over me, taking note that my head was currently resting on his lap. Is this a dream? "Douchebag, you ok dude? You got knocked out pretty bad but I ended up getting her right after." It took a few seconds for me to gather my thoughts, but once I realized the postion I was in I jumped to my feet with a slight blush on my cheeks, nodding to the raven haired boy to confirm I was alright. "Awesome dude."

He got up, turning to the beast lying on the floor."Take my iPhone again and I shall bring justice swifter yet!" The beast rose a little, blood dripping from a cut on her head as she roared once more. "GET. OUT. OF. MY. ROOM, TURD." Needless to say that even after defeating her, we booked it.

Stan and I laughed all the way down the stairs. "Dude, that was so crazy. You're pretty cool, thanks for helping me out." As we exited his house and started towards the Elven Kingdom, he stopped and grabbed my arm. "Hey, wait dude. I want to show you something, you're new here so you're probably unfamiliar with everybody's favorite hang out spot. Once school starts up again, the game ends and this is where everyone will be...hopefully you too." Suddenly my stomach grumbled, I looked away in embarrassment and the taller boy chuckled. "Well, I guess we can go get some food to while we're at it." He started pulling me with him and I had no choice but to follow-not that I was complaining, though.

We made our way into this low budget Chinese restaurant called City Wok. Stan approached the guy behind the counter and began ordering for us, I assume because I don't speak. The longer I looked at the man, the more he looked like a white man squinting his eyes. He also had a really poor Chinese accent, needless to say there was something off about the guy. Suddenly I was brought out of my thoughts as Stan tugged on my sleeves. "Foods done, let's eat dude." As we walked over to a table, there was an elf warrior standing near the wall, giggling to himself.

"Geez Marsh, didn't expect to see you here." the boy chimed. "Way to keep it in character, Jack." The light haired boy just chuckled to himself. "You're one to talk, last time I checked humans living in the olden times didn't go out to eat in Chinese restaurants. Regardless, I am genuinely surprised to see you-I've never seen you leave your little butt buddy's side. What's the occasion?" Stan pinched the bridge of his nose. "Listen asshole, for the last time, Kyle and I are JUST super best friends. That's it, nothing else to it, and it's my duty to help protect the king. I have a legitimate reason why I'm always around him." The other boy rose his hands up in defense. "Whoa, whoa there tiger. Didn't think I'd hit a nerve there. So why aren't you with him now then, O' Protector?" he smirked. Stan cleared his throat. "It is my humble duty to escort the new kid and show them around the territories." Jack rose his brow "Since when? I was at the meeting and I heard no mention of it in the official orders. You're just pulling this out of your ass as an excuse to spend time with the new kid, aren't you?" Stan took a step towards Jack before a poor excuse of a Chinese accent rang in our ears. "HEEY! NO FIGHTING IN HERE!"

There was an intense silence where both boys stared at each other, then my stomach grumbled and they turned to me. "Well, I can see the new kid's a bit hungry so I'll let you go. I hope my food for thought gave you a little appetizer, Douchebag." Jack waved as he walked out of the restaurant. "What an asshole...come on, dude."

We sat at the table and began to eat our food, which honestly tasted horrific-but it was food. There was idle chat between us, but I wasn't really paying attention, all I could think about was that guy's words. Did Stan really want to show me around or was he just using it as an excuse to hang out with me? My heart fluttered at the thought of the latter.

I snapped out of my thoughts as the feeling of the raven haired boy's eyes watching me. I returned the look as he licked his lips nervously. "By the way, don't uh, don't listen to that asshole. He doesn't know what he's talking about." Stan stated seemingly out of nowhere, looking away with a slight blush on his cheeks. We talked for a little while longer, finishing off our food and heading out the door.

It seemed like we had walked forever when we reached a body of water. Suddenly Stan turned towards me with a glint in his eyes. "So, this is what I wanted to show you! This is Stark's Pond. Everybody comes here to hang out, drink beer, party and y'know...other things." You rose your brow at the boy. "You know..." he chuckled nervously, blush slightly adorning his cheeks as he looked around desperately for someone to save him with an answer. Suddenly he grabbed you, pulling you into the water with him. "S-swimming? Swimming! Yeah, you know, swimming!" he laughed it off not paying attention to the fact that I was sinking. As someone who grew up in the city, I never really had an opportunity to learn how to swim. I was beginning to choke on the water, quickly losing my breath to the liquid as everything before my eyes went black.

I awoke to Stan's lips against mine, giving me CPR. They were soft yet so strong and forceful-I could have stayed there forever, however my body had other plans. My torso jerked up fast and I spit out a ton of water, then leaned back down onto my elbows. "Dude, I'm so sorry, that was such a dick move I didn't know you couldn't swim. I could've killed you I'm so-" he paused mid sentence and stared down at me in wonder with a hint of something else.

I looked down and noticed the previous baggy white shirt I had been wearing was now clinging onto my body and appearing completely see-through, meaning he could completely see my breasts. I gulped and looked back up at him. He had the biggest blush across his face as he shifted his eyes to look me over. "I knew it."

I figured the jig was up already so I might as well talk. "Knew what?" He looked at me in disbelief for a second as he asked "You can talk?" I giggled as his previous expression returned. "I knew you were a chick..." he gulped, shifting his body awkwardly as he shifted his eyes to the ground. I blushed, covering myself up.

"You can't tell anyone. Seriously Stan, please don't. I really like hanging out with you...guys. I don't want to mess things up with everybody finding out I'm a girl", I pleaded. He looked up at me again. "Dude, I really don't think anyone would be upset with the fact that you're a girl. I mean hell, if Kenny is allowed to put on a dress and prance around like a princess I don't think a real girl would bother anyone. I think you should just tell everybody." I turned away and rested my head on my knees as there was a brief silence. "...but I guess if you're really that worried about it, my lips are sealed. It's really not my place to give up your 'secret' anyway." I suddenly felt something wrap around my back, as I looked I saw Stan had taken off his cape and put it over me. "It's really cold here, I'm not sure if you're used to this kind of weather but you're totally going to catch a cold drenched like that." I got off of the ground and faced him. "Thanks...but won't you catch a cold too then?" He chuckled at my words, responding with "Well yeah, but it's better than you catching one in my opinion. Either way, we should probably get somewhere warm quickly, follow me." The raven haired boy then grabbed my hand, leading me to our next destination. As we walked away, I heard what sounded like a sickening chuckle from the trees, but I decided my mind was just playing tricks on me with the trees rustling.

"I'm sure Kyle-er, I mean the King-won't mind if we stop off by my place for a change of clothes." He stated as he opened his front door. As we approached the stairs, the previously slain She-Ogre was making her way down. "Move out of the way, turds!" the older girl hissed, then stopped in her tracks to stare at me. I shifted uncomfortably before breaking the silence. "So, uh, no hard feelings...riiiiight?" I smiled awkwardly at the older girl. "You're a girl?! Huh, well whatever turd. At least you don't hit like a girl." She belted out as she continued down the stairs. Stan just shrugged his shoulders at me.

A moment later he was opening the door to his bedroom, gesturing for me to come in. He started shuffling around in his drawers before handing me a change of clothes. It was an oversized hand-me-down red flannel and a pair of white boxers. Before I could ask where his bathroom was he threw off his hat and shirt, torso glistening with leftover droplets of water and his wet hair clinging to his neck. He had an incredibly toned body, I couldn't help but stare at it. Suddenly he turned towards me, I suppose feeling my eyes boring into him alerted him that I was still present. "Oh, uh, sorry about that dude. The bathroom is at the end of the hallway." It took a minute for me to snap out of it but I nodded at him and made my way towards the bathroom. I quickly discarded all of my clothes and changed into the spares that were offered. I grabbed my damp clothes and made my way back to Stan's room to see he had also finished changing.

"You can sit if you want. We'll leave in a few minutes, I just have to wizz first." He stated as he walked out of the door. I sat at his computer desk and turned on his monitor, noticing he had a Facebook instant message open. I began to read it.

Kyle B.: Dude where are you guys?
Stan M.: Sorry dude, I wanted to show Douchebag around a little.
Kyle B.: Stan, the stick is just in our reach, this is not the time to run
around with the new kid!
Stan M.: I'm sorry dude, I just really wanted to get to know them a little more.
Kyle B.: It's not like you to do this dude.
Kyle B.: You've been all over this this whole new kid thing since the moment you saw
them moving boxes into their house.
Kyle B.: You have a crush on the new kid, don't you?
Kyle B.: Hello?
Kyle B.: You're really breaking my balls right now dude, but I hope it's going well.

I decided to minimize the chat again and turn off the monitor before Stan showed up. Does he really have a thing for me too? I'll have to find out somehow. Not a moment more, Stan walked in awkwardly with a guilty look on his face. Clearing his throat, he started, passing me a wet garment. "You uh, you left your panties on the bathroom floor..." I couldn't help but blush, I was so embarrassed. "Sorry about that...I thought I grabbed everything before I left", I said, chuckling in embarrassment towards the end. "N-no! It's fine dude. Uh, so does that mean you're not..." It took me a minute to process where he was getting at, but one look at my face gave him his answer and he nodded very slowly. We stood awkwardly for a few moments before he began again. "So...back to the Elven Kingdom then?" I nodded, following him down the stairs.

"Stan, Douchebag, glad you decided to grace us with your presence again." the king remarked. "Anyway, now that you have been properly aquainted with your elven supports, I think now is the right time to recruit the goths to our faction and finally gain the stick back from Wizard Fatass." Stan giggled at the nickname, making the king smirk. "You have your orders, human. Please make haste and be on your way-the fate of our kingdom depends on you." I nodded at the king, making my way towards the back door. "Douchebag, wait!" Stan yelled, running up to me. "I'm coming with you, your wish is my command, milord." he smirked, doing a dramatic bow that made me giggle. He opened the door for me, and as I turned to thank him I saw the king staring directly at us with a proud smile on his face.

We attacked the 6th graders first, and the ambush had been going very well. We had two out of the three knocked out, but Stan's health was getting low and we ran out of health potions. He couldn't help but get knocked out when the 6th grader started pummeling him, but I soon avenged him as he did me during our battle against the She-Ogre. As I was waiting for him to come to, I heard someone whispering to me from behind the dumpster.

"Pssst. Psssst. Hey, Douchebag! Come here for a second!"

I approached the dumpster slowly, then spun around it and surprised the person from behind. It was none other than the Grand Wizard himself. "Hello Douchebag-though I'm not sure if we call you that because you ARE one or because you USE them. Both reasons are pretty fitting from what I've seen, though." My breath hitched. "Oh yes, that is correct-I do in fact know you are a chick, Douchebag. I've been following you to see if you're loyal to the Kingdom of Kupa Keep, and it seems I've had good reason to doubt you. I knew that sneaky little Jew elf would try to take you from me, Douchebag-you're naive and he wants to take advantage of that. You don't know about his sneaky Jew plots."

I rolled my eyes at his words. He chuckled darkly, "Oh, I see. You don't believe me, that's fine. You don't have to believe me, Douchebag, but you do have to serve me." I decided to break my silence. "Excuse me?" He chuckled again. "You're not excused. You see, as I said before, I've been following you. I was there when you and Stan were at the lake. I had my camera out, ready for whatever gay sex you guys were going to do so I could blackmail you AND Stan back, but I guess I'll just have to settle for you. I have a video of you to prove you're a girl and I don't think the guys will like that very much. Seems like you'll get kicked out pretty fast, Douchebag. All the friends you've made-gone-and you're out of the game." I opened my mouth to speak, but he spoke over me. "Let me guess, you're going to say that Stan said the guys wouldn't care. What does Stan know? I'm a king-I've ruled over many. I know what the people want. They'd care, they'd want you gone. Why do you think the only chick in our game is a cross dressing guy?" He was beginning to piss me off.

I took a step towards him. "I don't have the tape on me, so fighting me is useless." he laughed again, I was beginning to hate the sound. I stood silently staring at him for a moment before looking at my feet. "It's alright, Douchebag. But hey-you should be grateful that I'm willing to take you back and forget about the betrayal you were just about to pull without punishment." I looked back up at him, sneering. "You're blackmailing me to be on your side, asshole." He chuckled darkly again, for what seemed like the millionth time. "TomAYto, tomAHto, Douchebag. Anyway, I've got to run-and so do you. I expect to see you and the goths shortly." The king waved, giving me a shit eating grin before very ungracefully climbed over the fence and leaving the scene.

"D-dude...w-where are you? You ooooook...? Did we beaaat themm?" I heard Stan calling out. I rushed to him as fast as possible, checking if he was ok. "Yeah, and I'm fine, sorry for leaving you but the cigarettes fell behind the dumpster along with a few other items and I thought I could find a revival potion. The more important question is: are you ok?" He nodded slowly. "Let's get you back to the kingdom...I can finish this quest on my own while you rest." He opened his eyes wide in shock as he began to stand up-clearly too fast for someone who just got injured. "Dude, no, I'm fine." he assured, voice broken. I giggled, holding him up. "Obviously not if I'm going to have to help carry you back." He grumbled as we started walking to a travel flag, honking the horn as Timmy pulled up. "TIMMEHHHH!" the boy shouted as we got on.

"DUDE ARE YOU OK?!" the king shouted, rushing off of his throne to his super best friend. "Yeah, I'm fine dude...just a little banged up." the king shook his head. "A little banged up? You have blood dripping down from the side of your face. What happened?" Stan looked away. "Douchebag and I were fighting the 6th graders and I got messed up, that's all. They-HE said that he would continue the quest without me so I can rest." he stated, whispering at the end. The redhead looked at his friend with soft, knowing eyes. "He's just looking out for you dude, he doesn't think you're weak or anything." Stan looked up at his friend with a small smile. "I hope so."

Both of the friends smiled at each other briefly before Kyle's face scrunched. "Wait, Douchebag is out alone?" The raven haired boy nodded his head in response. "Why didn't he have the bard escort him on his quest instead then?" There was a brief silence, the redhead facing away from his fallen friend as he spoke. "I know you have a thing for the new kid dude, but I think there is something fishy going on." Stan grabbed his shoulder and turned the boy to face him. "Douchebag would never do anything to betray our trust. We can trust her." he stated firmly. "...her?" the taller boy asked, tilting his head. "HIM, sorry, slip of the tongue..." Stan smiled nervously.

"I don't know dude, I guess we'll just have to see then."