The flowers wilt on next to the hospital bed, a sad reminder of what happened here. Only one person occupies this room, his pale eyes staring into nothing. His lips move quietly, as though he were talking to someone. A slow smile creeps onto his face, breaking it in two. It doesn't look natural on him, that insane grin. It would look so much better on the person sitting outside, his head leaning against the wall in silent denial.
"Is it true?"
"He's gone insane…and he already was…"
"But is she really—you know?"
"Yes, Teatarishidai. It's true."
He can hear their voices, as well as the soft mutterings of the man inside the room, the insane one. Jade eyes, rimmed with black, open, blazing with fire. They are weak! They do not know anything!
But the last remnants of the poisoned tones fade into the distance and he is left to fall back into memories, the last place that he wants to be…
They say that love is impossible behind his back. They don't believe that he could love, or that anyone could love him. He was a murderer, after all. And the Hyuuga? He had a duty to his clan. But now look at that same Hyuuga, the one who sat in bed, his mind bent and twisted beyond its boundaries. They knew nothing of what had happened…they had no right to even speak of it.
And that was the way that he felt. At the same time, however, he felt something tear deep, deep inside of him at the thought of everything that had happened. They had been a three person team; excellent in what they did, yet subtle. Himself, Gaara, Hyuuga Neji, and…Haruno Sakura.
She had changed. Very much so. No longer did he scorn her, look down on her. She was strong, one of the elite of the elite. You wouldn't think it, looking at her; she was so frail, delicate, beautiful. And that was what caused him to take her, to love her.
It had started as a few looks, deft touches between her and the Hyuuga. They began to leave together, only sometimes, after missions. Always he stayed behind, watching their retreating backs, his arms around her, whispering words to her. And then anger burned inside; she should be with him. He was confronted with a new emotion: jealousy. And then he began to recognize that dangerous disease: love.
He watched them, feeling the burning envy deep inside. And then it happened; they fought. Long and hard, late at night, and the next day Hyuuga wasn't at the normal training site. But she was, sitting there, her eyes red, looking as though she had sat there all night. When she saw him, she did something that no one else had never done; she embraced him, breaking down on his shoulder. Slowly he put his arms around her, unsure of this new activity. Her tears wet through his shirt, her sobs shook her body. And yet it felt nice. A pleasant, bittersweet nice. He hurt deep inside; someone that he felt—such an odd word, felt—things for was crying, and trusting him. That meant everything to him at that moment: She cared. Haruno Sakura cared.
Slowly the gestures in their private—Neji had stopped joining them—training became more and more intimate, touches here and there that made them shiver in pleasant surprise. One day his lips met hers in a nervous, gentle kiss. She allowed him, joining him as he gained courage and kissed her harder, letting his tongue slip into her mouth. Something else was happening; he could feel it as her body pressed against his, the contours of their bodies fitting together perfectly. It hurt to break away, as though something were ending, but at the same time beginning, changing. He didn't like change. But this change was good. She looked up at him and he fell into her eyes, feeling his heart race. With a small snarl he pressed his lips to hers again, wrapping his arms around her body. She reached up, her slim hands running through his red hair. He didn't know how long it went on for, but it was good.
Gaara, the unlovable, had fallen in love. And someone else loved him back.
For once in his life, he was happy to see another person. Even when Neji came back, things remained silent between the Hyuuga and Sakura, as though neither wanted to say it. Their intimate gestures remained secret, even though they began to go beyond kisses, sometimes ending up in the comfortable sea of blankets at one apartment or the other. But slowly, the two began to grow close again. He could see it in their eyes as they watched each other; that same look that Sakura gave him. Love. Affection. That I'd-die-for-you shimmer. And he saw it in the other man's silver orbs as well. He knew that it was reflected in his eyes when he saw her as well.
He had seen her crying a few times, on her friend Ino's shoulder. Once he had even heard her words on the wind, although they seemed distant and opaque… "…I love them both…" But then the wind stole her words away, taking all that was precious with it.
And then the mission came, that fateful day when she would be snatched away. She would be a distraction, play as a maid in a rich household planning treason. But she was found. They had been as well, had been forced to watch the men of the household torture her to death, hear her screams again and again, listening as she never told why she came, why she was here. Tell them…save yourself…That was what his soul pleaded. But she would never give away her Hokage's position. So she died.
And then the household died, as both men lost complete control. He had managed to retain it after a while, as he had experienced it before. But Neji was gone, his mind bent backward and forward like a blade of grass around a pole. And that was were they were now, lost in the wreckage that love often leaves you in. A desolate hole in the darkness, pulling them in and feeding away at them. Neji was dying; he was fading fast. And Gaara knew that he was too, or that he would be dead soon.
This is why people don't fall in love. They are afraid to be hurt. And yet the ones who love the most are the ones who hurt the most.
So maybe she was the most noble of them all, in the end. He knew that he had hit rock bottom when he fell in love with someone that he had hated. But life was never easy.
