Hey… I was listening to the song "When I'm gone" by Eminem and when I heard the line "You've got one more chance to do right - and it's tonight" I just couldn't get it out of my head…
Tag to "My bloody valentine" Brotherly fluff.
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Seven thoughts - Sam and Castiel
A gentle hand is smoothing his hair back, stopping on his neck… squeezing briefly… then the same actions again.
'Not Dean…' Is his first thought.
Of course there had been a time when Dean was just as gentle as that… but he wouldn't do it now… not when Sam was drinking demon blood again.
'What have I done?' Is the second thought.
He wants to shake the hand off… he doesn't deserve to be comforted… and if somebody had the right to do it, I would defiantly not be these soft, cool fingers… It would be Dean. His brother should decide whether he is still worth… anything.
'Gonna be sick' Is the third thought.
"Easy Sam" Castiel presses Sam down against the hard, uncomfortable, makeshift bed.
'Great… the panic room and Dean's not with me... just his best friend…' Is the fourth thought.
He tries to sit up, doesn't want to lay on this cot…
'Need to get away.' Is his fifth thought.
"Wait a second Sam… I'm going to take the handcuffs off." The angel says with a low voice and opens the chains just in time so that Sam could turn around and puke over the edge of the cot.
"Wh'rs D'n?" The man asks, slurring. Using his voice hurts like he had been screaming for hours. He probably had.
"Upstairs with Bobby." Castiel answers. "He might even be asleep for a while… He was awake for the last days until you stopped screaming for help."
"How…" Sam shudders.
"…long you've been out… well… not... yourself?" Castiel completes the pending question. "About three and a half days. Dean was suffering pretty badly. He spent most of the time in front of the door."
'I need him now…here.' Is his sixth thought.
"Do you want me to tell him that you're awake?" Castiel frowns, titling his head.
"He would be here, if he wanted to know." Sam whispers, burying his face in his hands.
'I'm gonna leave as soon as I'm recovered… Dean isn't supposed to carry this burden.' Is his seventh thought.
………………
It's me, who's to blame - Dean and Bobby
"Damn boy… would you finally go to bed… get some rest…" Bobby sits in his wheelchair, annoyed. Dean is awake for three and a half days… straight. He already considered to just knock the boy out… somehow… mixing something into his drink. But that would mean his death as soon Sam finally awakes. "You remember sleeping, do you?"
"I can't sleep…" Dean's eyes are bloodshot. He has been crying a lot, Bobby could tell.
Knocking him out seems more and more attractive to the older man. "You should try… you're driving me crazy." Glaring, Bobby puts a heavy hand on Dean's wobbling knee. This man couldn't sit still… probably already suffering under a coffee-shock.
"I should go downstairs again… he might wake up… and I'm not…" He stops mid-sentence, chewing in his lip, like he is remembering something. His voice cracks. "I'll stay here with you… you need something? Something to drink? I need something… whiskey Bobby?"
"Dean." Bobby gets a grip on the now standing man. "Wait a sec…"
He can't see Dean's face. But he can feel the tremors run through the young, yet so very exhausted, body. When Dean speaks, Bobby can hear the held back tears. "I failed him again… I should have protected him… he… suffered three days because I'm a total failure…"
"Uhm… Dean… have you taken any drugs… or something like that?" Bobby grumbles. "Famine got through to your brother… it's not his fault and for sure it's not your fault."
"I'm not talking about this." Dean spins around, his eyes swimming and his body shaking. "I'm talking about the whole blood-drinking issue… he…"
"Dean… It was Ruby's fault… god… " Bobby fights back.
"No… Bobby… I let him down… I went to hell…" Dean yells. "I shouldn't have… I let him alone… he just had Ruby… of course it had been my fault. I shouldn't have left him alone."
"Okay… you're still listening to yourself, because you're talking freaking bullshit… You've made the deal to bring your brother back from the death." The older man knows that this is a low blow. Dean looks at him startled, like he has really forgotten it. Breathing hard, Bobby calms his voice down. "Damn Dean… you should honestly try to sleep… you're going to break down, boy… or you're gonna freak out..."
Dean sits down again, sorting his thoughts. Bobby gives him time to think. The lack of sleep is screwing with his mind. "You know… I would make this deal again… I can't live without Sam…" Dean confesses, scratching his head. "But I would arrange everything for Sam, before I… die…. And I would defiantly talk to him about it more… I mean… it had been my fault that he did anything Ruby wanted… he was desperate… I mean… going to hell… drinking demon blood… desperation does that to people…" Bobby smiles. Finally the boy gets it. "And yeah I'd do it again… I'd go to hell for him again." Dean adds gently.
"Dean… that won't happen. You're both are alive and…" Bobby stops… he can't make promises he won't be able to keep.
"I'm sorry to interrupt you guys." Suddenly a voice breaks the heavy silence. Bobby and Dean turn around to see Cas standing there. "Sam's awake." Dean immediately jumps up.
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Faith - Bobby and Castiel
"Dean…" Castiel stops his friend. "He thinks… that you don't want him anymore… He believes that you want to reject him for his actions… I guess he plans to leave." Dean nods understanding, heading to his brother now.
"You think they'll figure that out finally?" Bobby asks, looking in the basement's direction, where Dean just disappeared.
"You know…" Castiel smiles. "I realized something…" He fished something shining out of his trench-coat and handed it to Bobby. "… we don't need to find god…"
"We don't?" Bobby looks up startled, looking at Dean's necklace.
"Yeah… well… of course I would have liked to face my father… and I still believe he is out there… anywhere." Castiel smiles. "But it's stupid to have faith that he is going to show up and… saves the day…" Bobby smiles… Castiel uses not only Dean's emotions, but also Dean's words now, too. "The night we brought Sam here, Dean went out and prayed… I think he realized back then how much he needs his brother… how much he loves him… as long they're together, they're gonna make it. We need to have faith in Sam and Dean… especially when they don't have faith in themselves… God might even… pop up when he wants to."
"I believe in the boys." Bobby nodded, thinking. "They're gonna make it."
"Me, too…" Castiel agrees silently.
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You've got one more chance to do right - and it's tonight - Dean and Sam
"Sammy…" Dean gently calls from the doorframe, but like he has already expected, Sam doesn't lift his head, just winces a little. The hand which cover his face move slightly upward, fisting hair. "Are you okay?" The older brother walks over slowly, not to disturb the man, who's sitting there, curled into himself.
Dean sits down beside him, biting his lip. He just can't resist the urge to put his hand onto his brother's back. He watches his brother's head, moving his thumb carefully between Sam's shoulder blades, like he's scared that he might hurt him with implying too much pressure.
"Did you just call me "Sammy"?" The little brother asks, without looking up, stirring a little bit under the hand.
"Uhm… sorry… I… Sam…" Dean bites his lip, correcting himself bitterly.
"No… Sammy's… okay… I'm just… surprised." Sam whispers, before they sit in silence again.
After a minute Sam looks up, meeting Dean's eyes, plain emotions in both of the men's eyes.
Sorrow and guilt.
"I'm sorry…" Both of them say in unison. Dean chuckles and Sam smiles sheepishly, relaxing under the soothing touch of his big brother.
Understanding
"Sammy…" Dean starts, waiting for Sam to look back at him. "It wasn't your fault… I get it now… I mean… I'm not talking about Famine right now… you didn't like drinking demon blood yourself, but you started it to get me back… I can't pretend that I would have done anything differently… well I even guess that I would be much weaker… Sammy…" Dean huffs. "… I don't like your powers… but you proved strength by taking the demons out and killing Famine… you stopped drinking… I'm proud that you didn't give in."
Amazement
"Wow… Dean… I'm…" A tear slips out of Sam's eyes. Dean wipes it away gently, smiling a little.
Affection
"I know…" Dean pats his brother's cheek. "Enough chick flick. Let's head upstairs for a bit, watching TV… eating something… what do you think?"
Worry
"Dean… It isn't your fault, neither… you know that don't you?" Sam grips his brother's forearm.
Acceptance
"I'm not really convinced by now… but it's enough for me when you believe it." Dean smiles down at his brother, before he stood up, helping Sam onto his feet. "You're such a girl, Sammy…" He snarls.
Trust
"And you're a jerk." Sam lays his arm around his brother's shoulder, feeling save for the first time in a long time.
Joy
"Shut up bitch…" Dean supports more of Sam's weight against himself. "Let's get you upstairs on the couch. I'll get blankets for us and I'll send Castiel to fetch popcorn and any girl-food you like. We'll get you healthy again, kiddo." After a short pause, he adds: "Uhm… and we two… we still have to sort things out… fix some things… and we'll talk about everything this time… we're gonna figure this out, Sammy. I promise. I won't leave you alone with anything."
Gratitude
"Thanks Dean…" Sam looks at his brother. He had missed his brother so much. Dean looks back at him, tucking him closer, ruffling Sam's head affectionately.
Love
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Idjits - Bobby, Castiel, Sam and Dean
When Castiel comes back with popcorn half an hour later, he finds Bobby sitting in the living room, glaring at the couch. "Idjits" He insulted the sleeping forms and wheeled into the kitchen, shaking his head.
Castiel remains standing there for a while, smiling at the two brother, who are sitting on the couch, covered with blankets, Sam's head titled and deposited on Dean's shoulder, while Dean's arm is tucked around Sam's shoulder, his own head fallen against the back of the couch.
"Sleep well" Castiel says softly, his eyes on Dean's necklace that is again on it's place.
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Have you ever loved someone so much….
