Drabble #42: Loss
Summary: He thought he would be used to it by now.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything. Characters and places belong to SquareEnix
After two years without her and seven without Zack, he thought he would be used to their death but in truth, he still felt their loss everyday. It was so hard to accept that they were gone, their smiles and laughs lost forever. He did not want to accept it, he didn't want to admit they were gone.
He wanted to see their faces one more time but whenever he saw her in his dreams, her back was always facing him. He just wanted to look into her eyes again because he was scared that if he did not, he would lose her image forever. Her memory might become lost in the back of his mind. He did not want that.
He wanted to see Zack's cheesy grin and feel the cheerful raven-haired man pat his shoulder in reassurance as he whispered, "You can do it Cloud." He wanted Aeris. He wanted Aeris more than anything did. Losing her was the hardest thing he had ever gone through and after two years, he still could not live with what he had done. He wanted to hold her, to tell her how he felt but he couldn't. He had lost the chance when he lost her.
When Zack died, he felt hopeless and lost, unsure of how to go on. The man had been his only friend and had always been there to guide him and show him the way but after he died, Cloud was forced to go alone again. It was too much.
When Aeris died, he lost a part of himself, a part he could never get back even if he dared to love again. Aeris had opened up a part of him that had long been forgotten, left to linger in his past. She made him see who he really was. But without her, what was the point?
He had lost the will to live long ago but he kept on going, for her more than anything else. She believed in him and that was enough for Cloud to get up in the mornings. He may have lost her but he wouldn't lose her faith in him.