Author's Note: This was a oneshot I was originally planning to only post on deviantART (yes, I actually do post my stories on deviantART; this was one I deemed too stupid to post on FFnet) but I gave into general temptation and posted it up here. XD Plus I wanted all my FFnet fans/friends (I'm looking at you, Kirmon64) to see this anyway. (And it is also the reason why smart text is off in the whole story – I typed it all out not in Word, but in the submission portion of DA.)
I wrote it at like, one in the morning. Keep that in mind as you read. I don't write best early in the morning as you can tell. XD
Also, it's Thanksgiving break YAY! So I'm going to have loads of free time, at least until Thanksgiving day – unless of course they provide internet for us, in which case that would be awesome. So, funfunfunness. Not as many people are going to be over though, I'm just going to my uncle's as I usually do but I'm not going to stay long. My mom has to work like the night of, so… it's kind of a drag, actually.
It's a little sad how this particular oneshot has the most words of all of my oneshots. (THAT'S WHAT I GET FOR RAMBLING WITHIN A FANFICTION BALGGHLJ)
Well, enjoy, if you can stomach it. XD
AND KIRMON, RESPOND TO YOUR MESSAGES, PLEASE! YOU'RE TAKING TOO LONG AND I REALLY WANT TO START WORKING ON THAT PROJECT!
Disclaimer: If I owned Ratchet and Clank, I would make the Lombax language easier to read. DX
--
They had been traveling for too long, far, far too long.
As much as Ratchet loved riding in that ship and journeying with his best best best friend Clank, he just couldn't stand the wait -- the unbearable wait -- the knowledge that he would not be seeing any Lombaxes -- ANY -- for a long time to come.
Night fell. Its dark curtains stretched outside of the ship, her red metallic skin being bathed by dark -- almost no light. Moonlight. Tiny, insignificant moonlight, which was barely visible from the sky. It would not lead a soldier to home; it was not a beacon of hope. It was small, and only emitted a dull light that allowed one to see on surface level, but not what truly mattered. You could see a person, but you could not tell if he was friend or foe. You could see a rock, but you could not tell if it was gray or red. You knew what was going on, and yet you didn't have the details.
Ratchet lifted his head from within the ship. He and Clank were just touring around, and within Aphelion it was safest -- away from the bitter cold, shielded from any enemies that may attack during the night. Because Aphelion didn't have much room inside her, Clank usually slept on the dashboard, sometimes on the passenger seat (but they wanted to keep that open, mainly because they used it as a storage space) and occasionally, on bad nights, on top of Ratchet on the driver's seat (because sometimes Clank would have trouble sleeping, and Ratchet was his only source of comfort -- or at least, the nearest). This was one of those bad nights, and Ratchet's teal-green eyes, adjusting just barely to the bare minimum of light that was surrounding him, focused on Clank's small robotic form.
'I don't want to disturb him, but I can't stay here,' thought Ratchet. If he was going to cut off sleep, he was going to cut off his own, not the robot whom he had been with for years, as far as Ratchet could remember. Carefully, Ratchet gripped at the robot's hips with his gloved hands -- fortunately, not disturbing the little thing. Sighing with relief, Ratchet gently set Clank down on the passenger seat, which, thankfully, was currently empty. Settled by the fact that the robot did not stir, the Lombax gently pressed the button lifting Aphelion's top seal, and jumped out of the large ship. Almost immediately after he exited, Aphelion gently shut herself, but quietly, as she sensed Clank still asleep.
"Where are you going, Ratchet?" Aphelion asked in her robotic, hushed voice, tinged with concern. If the ship was able, she would be gazing directly at the Lombax. Her lights were on, but not inwardly, so as not to spook Clank -- only Ratchet could see them, and the only purpose for that was so Ratchet could be aware of the ship's presence.
"Just a little walk," Ratchet whispered back, gently placing his Omniwrench on the ship's muzzle. "I won't be long; I just need a breather." He gazed sincerely at the now-silent ship, his eyes exposing nothing about what he was actually thinking -- and for good reason. Although the ship was not technically a living, breathing thing, so wasn't Clank, and Clank was easily able to read his particular mood using his eyes. "I promise," he added as an afterthought.
Aphelion hummed uncertainly, then quieted. However, her tone as she spoke was understanding, as she replied, "Be careful."
Ratchet nodded in acknowledgment as the ship turned off her lights -- and Ratchet sort of regretted not asking her to keep them on, at least until he ventured far enough out that he wouldn't see them, anyway. He couldn't see a blasted thing! But perhaps that was for the best. As his gaze raised skyward, he saw the thin silver disk in the sky -- the moon -- swerving around and not minding the swirling torrent of clouds that threatened to engulf it. For some reason, the Lombax just couldn't keep his gaze on the sight -- the moon, trying for some sort of cause, being swallowed by darkness... it was too... too...
Depressing.
Sighing, Ratchet started off, heading out, glad he was wearing boots as he could feel rocks crunching beneath his feet that he couldn't see. As he stepped over the jagged surface, his eyes flashing colors in protest to the contrast in light he had had earlier, he tried to predict where the rock would be next. They had been exploring this planet earlier, and he hoped that he could use this prior knowledge to build a mental picture of where he was going. The Lombax closed his eyes, knowing they would be useless in the dim light, and followed what his heart told him.
Whatever it told him.
He couldn't really listen to it that much lately.
It felt so... empty.
Purposeless.
Meaningless.
Ratchet knew how much of an emo freak he sounded with his thoughts, but he couldn't help it. He couldn't help feeling alone.
As he felt his foot step onto unfamiliar ground, ground that he had never walked on before, his sensitive ears perked, prickling unease spreading through him. The ground here -- it was rock, but it was different rock. As Ratchet opened his eyes out of habit (he was, after all, used to being able to see clearly) he noticed with surprise that he could actually make out the color of the ground, even though he didn't have much of a light source -- it was a dark-gray-purple color, which spread onward and onward as far as he could see. When he looked back to where he had been walking, he couldn't see the ground at all. Why was that?
Something about this place... Ratchet could instinctively feel in his gut that he was meant to be here, right at this moment. There was something he had to do here.
But what?
Sliding his hands out in front of him in order to help him feel around for any important landmarks he would run into, he felt rough rock underneath his hands, and his eyes widened in surprise as he saw a visibly red rock. It contrasted so much with the ground that it was actually extremely easy to see, even with only a little tiny ray of moonlight illuminating the place. Ratchet took a deep, deep breath -- what the heck was he stumbling onto? His teeth chattered as he felt the rush of cold catch up to him, but he was warm -- warm with excitement. For some reason, he felt that he had found the first step in finding what he had been looking for -- not just the Lombaxes, but his true purpose, his reason for still existing... the reason why he would continue on.
Beep.
"Ow!"
His nose was stinging -- what had he just run into!?
Suddenly, a bright light appeared before Ratchet's eyes -- his pupils screamed in protest and tried to adjust to the sudden change in contrast, and Ratchet had to resist closing his eyes. What had originally looked like just some weird brown wall that he had seriously not seen coming and he could've sworn just spawned out of the ground and smacked him in the nose (really, he could even prove it!) turned out to be something... highly complex.
On the surface of the wall was a blank, green... sort of screen.
It reminded Ratchet of Clank's eyes...
Suddenly, writing spread across the green. It was... it was...
Lombax writing!
Ratchet took a quick intake of breath. This meant -- the Lombaxes really had been to this planet! He should have searched more!
And he was glad that he had taken those Lombax reading lessons from Talwyn. (Though he was still a bit slow at it, he would still admit.)
"Hello, Lombax."
Ratchet gazed at the brilliant letters, as if unable to read them -- he could, but he just couldn't comprehend that they were there shining right in front of him. He brushed the screen with his fingers, even taking one glove off in order to feel the surface -- and was surprised to feel something smooth, like glass, instead of the bumps of the walls. This seemed to be a computer -- an ancient computer -- and he just happened to stumble across it!
"Yes, that is right," the wall replied, and Ratchet blinked. Apparently it could read his thoughts. "The Lombaxes before you constructed me in order to solve complex puzzles and answer questions. Sort of like IRIS." As Ratchet took the time to try to read the Lombax writing, all sorts of thoughts sprang into his head all at once -- How could they construct a supercomputer like this? Where were they? How did this supercomputer know IRIS? "Ask me a question," the computer prompted. "I will be happy to answer. If you wish for audio, I can say it aloud as well," it added, apparently having noticed Ratchet's difficulty reading Lombaxian.
"N-No, that's all right," Ratchet blurted, feeling embarrassed. He was feeling rather... overwhelmed by what he had just discovered, and he just couldn't think straight. "My friends... they're asleep." He glanced back self-consciously as he said this.
He promised Aphelion he would be back quickly, that this would just be some leisurely stroll...
Well, this wouldn't take too long... would it? They wouldn't notice him, would they?
No, of course they wouldn't.
Well, he wouldn't know.
He could get this done and go back quickly -- it shouldn't be a problem.
Feeling satisfied, the Lombax turned back to the supercomputer, which seemed to be waiting for him to ask a question. Ratchet took a deep breath, and --
"Who created you?"
Silly first question. He wouldn't even know that Lombax, even if it explained where he currently lived, or anything like that. But for some reason, he felt empowered to ask any question, regardless of the stupidity or lack of thought put behind them.
The supercomputer did nothing for a few minutes, and for a minute Ratchet thought that the computer didn't hear him. As he was about to repeat his question, suddenly the computer came back to life again as text started scrolling across the screen. Narrowing his eyes as he tried to make out the information, he read, "Mika, a female gray-furred Lombax, created me, along with some help from your father, Kaden. The two of them worked together to try to create a supercomputer as a backup for IRIS. Mika was a brilliant inventor, but unfortunately she ended up killed by Emperor Percival Tachyon." As the computer sensed that the Lombax finished reading, it beeped, then typed, "I can answer any question. Remember that. You can ask me anything. You do not need to ask about me -- if there is something you wonder about you or something around you do not hesitate to ask about that."
'Yeah, I understand that,' thought Ratchet, feeling embarrassed again. He just blurted the question randomly, without really thinking its meaning through. He just wanted to... well, see what the supercomputer would do before he actually asked something that would be worth his time. He knew that he had to ask quickly, too, or else he would worry at least Aphelion, and that wasn't something he was willing to do at the current moment.
What could he ask, though? He only had a limited amount of time before this supercomputer would have to go back to a long sleep again and he had to return to the ship -- he had missions he had to undertake. He couldn't ask just every question that popped into his mind, or he would be wasting time. Deciding that he would disregard any questions relating to the supercomputer itself, he decided that he would stick to questions relating to him or the Lombaxes. But what could he ask regarding that? All the interesting questions had to do with the supercomputer, but he knew that asking that would just make a belated response that he would find not all that interesting anyway.
Then he was struck with an idea.
"Who are... my family?" he asked quietly.
The supercomputer hummed as it processed his request. The Lombax was practically biting his nails as he awaited the answer -- an answer that he wanted to know for so long, and yet an answer that he was not entirely willing to hear. Finally, text scrolled over the screen. "Kaden was your father, and Rayna was your mother. You probably had a few siblings, but they were most likely killed by Percival Tachyon. Actually, I am certain you are the last of your family left."
You know, you can't really help feeling a little... down. And lonely... after hearing something like that.
Ratchet's heart dropped as he gazed at the ground, his ears drooped. He knew about his father, but he didn't know that all of his immediate family was dead. Even with his father he didn't hear too much about -- and he never even met any of them -- and yet still, he felt a painful blow to his chest, making him gasp. He gripped the red stone, unintentionally turning his back to the supercomputer, trying to steady himself from falling. As Ratchet whipped around, his teal-green eyes steady again on the supercomputer, he suddenly didn't feel like asking anything anymore.
"I am sorry," the computer typed for him to read. "I know the information is hard to take."
"I..." He didn't know what to say.
Would you know what to say once you were told your immediate family was killed?
"I will only allow you to ask two more questions," the supercomputer warned him. "Then I must shut off. You do not have to ask any more questions, however. You are free to return to Aphelion. Do whatever you like, Ratchet."
But somehow, that gut feeling, that said that he had to do something here, refused to go away. And he had to satiate it before he felt he was going to explode.
But what was he supposed to do here? He originally guessed it was to find the Lombaxes, but for some reason the question just wouldn't come past his tongue. No matter how much he tried to say it, it slipped his mind right as he opened his mouth. He probably looked like he was gaping repeatedly like a fish, but he didn't care. He needed to do something, and darn it, he was going to find out what it was.
Then a sudden thought struck him.
Maybe he could ask what he was doing here?
Maybe he could actually just ask for his purpose?
It seemed stupid initially.
But for some reason, it felt right -- and that's what he did.
He asked.
"What am I supposed to do now?" the Lombax asked the supercomputer. Anticipation made his fur prickle, and he felt himself revving up, getting excited once more. He was going to actually learn one answer he had been searching for for such a long time -- one answer that he always found himself reaching at but never actually grabbing with his metaphorical gloved hands within his mind.
And...
and...
aaaaaand...
The response was only two words.
"Head home."
Head home?
Head home?
Ratchet slumped, his arm sliding over the rock, his elbow taking a position on top of the red rock as well, as his head lay on his outstretched hand in an almost one-hand facepalm. Head home. Yeah, what a great help that was. He was destined for such greatness, head home, yes, let's go right all the way back to Kerwan. What did the stupid supercomputer mean about that? Why would that be his purpose? Why would he want to head home? Could he even? Could he even go back now, after all he had been through? Could he even try?
Ratchet's mind was in a whirl, and he felt his head sliding into both of his hands, his feet sliding out from underneath him and allowing him to rest on his shins, and his elbows connecting together atop the rock -- as his face was hidden in his hands, and he was down desperately on his knees.
How could this happen? Why him? Why did everything have to throw him a screwball, a curveball that only confused him and further frustrated him? Why did everything have to be a freaking struggle?
"What's that supposed to mean!?" Ratchet snarled angrily, suddenly jumping furiously up to his feet as he glared into the screen of the supercomputer, wanting to just jump the thing. He should have brought his wrench so he could tear that thing up, break its screen, show it the what-for that it's so desperately looking for. "Head home!? What, where am I supposed to go? What is this home you're talking about!? I'm just a little confused and frustrated!"
Little was such an understatement.
The supercomputer hummed again, as if not disturbed by Ratchet's almost deranged state of mind. Its melody was almost soothing as it thought out Ratchet's problem, and the Lombax could only watch as it processed yet another request even though he asked about a bajillion questions all in one go and he only had one question left.
The supercomputer cleverly wanted to solve all of the questions.
Something deep.
Something meaningful.
Something that gave the moon life.
"Home is where the heart is."
And how the heck was he supposed to track that?
As the supercomputer shut off and Ratchet was left in the dark again, Ratchet thought ironically about how this no lights again situation reflected his internal mind.
And now, he just didn't know what to do anymore.
He supposed he would just go head back to Aphelion. He supposed he would just crash, have nightmares, and then forget that this all happened, aye?
The Lombax clumsily moved away from the red rock, scraping his knee and digging a hole into his pants that caused some rather gruesome red bleeding marks on his leg. Psh, whatever. It wasn't like he hadn't gotten worse. He just wanted to be away from here, run away from here, away from that stupid shut off computer, away from everything. In fact, what was stopping him? Why was he just standing around, gawking like an idiot? Why was he letting that computer get to his head... why wouldn't he just do what he just suggested to himself in his head?
And he did.
He ran.
He ran hard and far, and though in what he thought was the general direction of Aphelion, not focusing on the ship, or on his partner, or on anything at all.
Just... the coldness.
The coldness.
Itburnsitburnsitburnsitburns...
Stupid facts stupid supercomputer stupid NOTHINGNESS INSIGNIFICANCE that's what Ratchet is.
And the moon was mocking him!
He could just watch it, staring down at him, laughing at him.
Join the club, it says. Stupidity follows us both everywhere, we're insignificant...
'Leave me alone!'
His knee burned as the mocking coldness cradled the injury, as the mocking wind pushed him on, as the mocking moon beamed on him, as the mocking rocks tried to grab at him and rip at his clothes, rip at his flesh, which was already ripped anyway because of stupidity.
Which he was only repeating.
Right now.
Suddenly, the Lombax tried to stop his sudden tantrum... (well, his running, not really his tantrum -- or perhaps his inner tantrum?)
"OWGOD!"
And he scraped his legs, his tail, and anything else that you could possibly think of -- even his chest, and that was covered by a shirt, because he had tripped and fallen into sharp, sharp rocks that were unforgiven and wanted Ratchet far off their territory -- or off of anyone's territory for that matter, because Ratchet no longer belonged there, and he couldn't even remember what he had been doing in the first place. The pathetic Lombax had actually considered just lying there, letting the rocks slowly kill him -- hey, maybe one might puncture his neck! -- but he decided against it. How he did, he didn't know. He had no rational mind.
Perhaps it was because he didn't want to follow the supercomputer's game.
Or perhaps, somewhere in his mind, he had some hope that the supercomputer had been telling the truth, and he was just not getting it, and he just had to think it through.
Sighing, the Lombax, bleeding all over his arms and legs, lifted up to his feet, wincing painfully as wind whipped at his injuries, and he moved them. Yeah, that was a good sign something was broken or something and it would be hurting very muchly in the morning. But it wasn't that that really struck Ratchet. He had been nearly killed plenty of times, so it wasn't that big of a deal.
'Sooooo... cold!'
It was too cold. He could go on saying how loneliness is cold and the metaphorical cold was making him feel cold and cold equaled depressed in some way or something or he was left in the dark thus feeling cold or something... but really he was just cold. Literally. Okay, so he was cold in all those ways, but at the moment his primal instincts took over, and it was the cold on the outside that got him --
And was that a sneeze!?
"AH-AH- ACHOO!"
'Great. I'm sick, I'm lost...'
And he abandoned his friends and totally forgot about the Aphelion and about Clank. And he couldn't move and couldn't just get up and look for them. He couldn't be trusted for anything -- to come back where he promised to or anything remotely similar. That was just stupid.
Ratchet sniffed miserably.
He continued to sniff miserably.
And he continued.
On.
And on.
And on.
Ratchet hugged his knees tightly to his chest, sniffing, sobbing... cold, cold cold and in pain, too much pain and not knowing where to go, and feeling like a total asshole because he just completely abandoned both of his robotic companions and like a total idiot because he bothered to run out doing something extremely stupid like that stupid stupid stupid just because he was upset by something a computer answered with. He didn't even bother to think things through and he was practically screwed over and it was all his fault and now he was going to make them all nervous and he would probably die there.
Actually, dying sounded pretty merciful.
At least he wouldn't have to face his friends' worried faces in like, a hospital bed or something.
Or worse, their angry faces.
Or --
"Ratchet!"
The Lombax opened his eyes, not noticing he was just curled up, sobbing his heart out, and then noticed two shining green lights through the darkness of night, approaching him... and he couldn't believe it, because he knew those lights and he knew that voice.
"Ratchet," the voice called out again, voice sounding painfully worried and sad and depressed and only making Ratchet feel that way. "Are you all right? Are you -- are you crying?"
"C-Clank," Ratchet could only respond. 'Idiot!'
"Are you sick?" Ratchet felt cold steel -- which felt warmer than the cold, COLD air, which was a relief to him -- touching his forehead. It was funny how that robot, that little robotic companion, could sense temperature even though he had no touching senses whatsoever -- he had no nerve endings, that the Lombax was certain of. "Oh dear, you are."
"I'msorry."
"Do not apologize," Clank scolded, and Ratchet felt something envelope around him -- and he couldn't tell whether it was Clank's arms or a blanket Clank had carried with him. Probably both. "You gave me a heart attack, though! What were you doing, may I ask?"
Heart attack?
Home is where the heart is.
Home is where the heart is!
'Clank, I love you!'
The Lombax suddenly grinned broadly at the little robot. "Just takin' a stroll," he wheezed. "I got a little lost."
Clank sighed, trying to help the Lombax to his feet the best he could -- he was only at the Lombax's hip height, after all. "I am glad you are all right."
Ratchet gave Clank a soft smile. When Clank tilted his head in confusion, Ratchet only whispered, "Thanks."
'Thanks for being there. 'Thanks for being