Hello, Just a warning It may come across as if I am bashing Fairy Tail but I am not. I just wanted to make a story were Fairy Tail never saves Lucy since there are so many where Lucy is saved by them then not. Depression and Suicide is a serious issue if you are suffering please get some help or find a new couping method then cutting like writing it down when you are on the verge of breaking down. I do NOT own Fairy Tail.
Last week Lissana came back and Fairy Tail is still partying. Wendy, Juvia, Gajeel, and I stayed back for the first few days and let them party because we didn't know Lisanna. But, thing went back to normal pretty fast, well for everyone except me. Lucy Heartfilia. Natsu or the rest of the team haven't noticed me at all. I would call out their name and they would act like they never even heard me. I mean who does that!
It has been a month since Lisanna came back, the guild is back to normal, but Team Natsu haven't even noticed my existence and they have been going on missions with her not me. It is like a spelled has made me invisible to them. I gave up and started to do some solo missions so I can pay my rent. When I finally gave up, it felt like a piece of my heart broke, but I didn't let that stop me from smiling.
It has been 3 month since Lisanna came back, Team Natsu still has not noticed me, and I have been doing several missions a week. I have been getting stronger and have been taking harder jobs. I started listening to music and I have been quite often. I have been listening to some depressing songs and looking up depressing quotes, for some unknown reason. Every time someone doesn't notice my existence (which happens on a day to day bases), I feel that hole in my heart get bigger and bigger.
On the 6th month, I finally broke down. I gave up. I let myself do it. I let myself cut. It was on the day that Natsu announced that him and Lisanna are dating.
It was an ordinary day, I was bought me my strawberry milkshake from a coffee shop because I got tired of trying to get Mira's attention. I walk over to the job board to find a job. As I look at the jobs, Natsu and Lisanna came bursting through the door... holding hand. My heart crack when it saw it. But what they announced made my heart break.
"Attention everyone! Me and Lisanna are now together!" The guild erupts in joy, but I fall back and crash into the wall, trying not to cry.
*Mira*
I though I heard a crash. Huh, must be my imagination. I wonder were Lucy is I haven't seen her is a long time.
"Mira could we have some drinks to celebrate." Natsu and Lisanna sat down at the bar.
"Of course Natsu. Anything for the happy couple." Mira turned around and got the drinks ready.
*Lucy*
*Trigger warning*
I run into the bathroom, lock the door, and let my heart out. I took the knife that I started to keep in my boot 'for safety' and stared at it for a second. I need to let out this pain. I thought to myself, so without any hesitation I put the blade to my wrist, not thinking of the consequence, and started cutting. I pressed it hard craving to see the crimson blood, needing to see it. One cut, two cut, three cut,... I lost count, blood was pouring down my wrist, tears still falling from my eye.
Then a knock came.
*Ok it is over*
"Hello, Lucy are you ok?" I know that voice it is Loki. Damn it! I need to clean up fast.
"Yes, I am fine my stomach wasn't feeling well. I think I should go home."
"If you say so. I will wait out here then."
I quickly grabbed some toilet paper and cleaned up the mess on the floor and washed the blood from my wrist. Crap didn't think this through. How am I supposed to hide this from Loki. It is on my god damn wrist. I can't hide it without looking suspicious. Think, think, think. Oh I know I will call Virgo and ask her to give me a jacket.
"Open gate of the maiden: Virgo!"
DING DONG
"Hello princess is it punishment time" The pink haired maid appeared before her.
I grab my wrist and hide it behind my back, ignoring the burning sensation in my wrist. "No Virgo, but I was getting cold and was hoping you can bring me a jacket. Hmm, make it leather."
"Of course princess." With that she disappeared, but only to reaper in a few seconds. "Hear you go Princess." She hands me the light brown leather jacket.
"Thank you." I reach out with my blank wrist, but leaving the bloody one behind my back. "You can leave now." I quick sent her way and begin wrapping up my wrist with toilet paper and put on the jacket.
"Yo Lucy, you done yet?" Loki asks from behind the door
I opened the door and said, "Yup all done, I was getting cold so I asked Virgo to bring me a jacket." I subconsciously hold my wrist hoping he won't notice.
*Loki*
I notice Lucy was holding her wrist, Why is she holding her wrist? Never mind I need to take her home and treat her stomach ache. I walk her to her house, but she is unusually quite more than she has been lately. This must be about Natsu's announcement.
"Lucy are you ok?"
"Yeah, I am fine." She didn't look me in the eye.
"Lucy tell me what is wrong, is it what Natsu said?"
Lucy sighs, "Yeah It is him. I should of have know he didn't like me."
"Ah princess, you will always have me."
"Oh so should I tell Aries that you would ditch her for me?"
"Ok. Ok. Just don't tell her." Lucy laughed. At least she is smiling now. "Ok princess this is where I take my leave. I hope you feel better and if you need me I am at your command."
Lucy smiled what a relief. "Thank you, I will." And she turned around and went into her home.
Weeks past. Lucy never called on Loki for help no matter how much he beg. Eventually Aquarius convinced him to drop it. "She was like this when her mom died, hopefully the guild will realize what is happen before it is to late. As spirits no matter how much we want to help her we are not allowed to. Trust me I have already tried, the spirit king will not allow us to interfere with personal matters of our owners." We watched silently as Lucy was getting more depressed as time passed. She kept cutting. After the first cut she didn't cut deep again, well at least at the beginning, with each time it cuts got deeper and deeper.
Not much has changed in Fairy Tail, Natsu and Lisanna are showing a little to much PDA, Levy and Gajeel started dating, but they never noticed Lucy or even when she is missing like they are under some kind of spell was cast on them to make he invisible to them, in sight and sound. If it is a spell I hope they will realize soon I don't know how much Lucy can take any more.
Lucy started to stand on cliffs, she will just stand there and think. No matter how much I want to talk to her about it, I know that will get in major trouble if I confront her about it. Then about a year after her first break down, Natsu made his big announcement that pushed Lucy over the edge.
*Lucy*
Another day, another nightmare. I wonder if they will notice me. What am I kidding they will never notice me again. Light of Fairy Tail, what a joke. I am just a forgotten soul, never to be noticed again. My train of depressing thoughts were erupted by Natsu.
"Listen up everyone!"
"We got engaged!" Lisanna happy blurts out the new and showing everyone her engagement ring, a dragon holding a red stone.
My heart broke. I need to get out of here quickly. I quickly and quietly, without attractiong any attention, run home. I make it into my bathroom and broke down
*Trigger warning*
I take out the knife from my boot. I have always preferred knifes over razors. Knifes get the job done right and with lasting pain compared to razors. Tears start falling onto my thighs. The burn from the tears sting on the scars that are brand new from this morning. I enjoy the pain only for how it fills my hole even if it temporary. It makes me feel less empty inside, but it isn't helping the hole in my heart has gotten too deep.
I take the knife from its case and rub my fingers in the blade. 'Please make the pain go away, please' I lower it to my thighs and got ready for the most painful of the cuts. The first one. I prepare myself for the pain that the first brings, that numbs the many more to come. 'I need to today, I can't take it anymore.' Tears pour harder onto my thighs then I pierce though the my skin. The pain of the first on is intoxicating, calming, numbing. My mind goes numb only thinking about the calming pain. It makes me feel alive, real, and that I am actually there. I feel better. Just a little bit, but I do. It is like all the emotions that have been building up behind the dam of my smile, is finally being set free. The beautiful red crimson blood starts pouring out of the cut and the next cut goes in deeper, then next one even deeper. My mind is getting number and number with each cut
Blood is everywhere. My mind comes back to me. I realize how much blood I lost. My bath room floor is covered in it. I try to stand up but I fall back down. 'I can't live like this any more! It is time I can't stay here any longer! … I need to see mom again.'
I grabbed some bandages and wrapped up my thighs to hold the blood back in and head to my desk. Blood is already dripping through the bandages and on to the floor. I sit down on my chair and grab my pen and a blank sheet of paper and wrote a letter to them. Once I finished I changed clothes and put on a long dress that went down to my ankles. Then I went out the door.
I ran a fast as I could to the cliff that hangs over the sea. The cliff which I choose to end my life at. The highest point in Magnolia. (you can look at a city wide picture of Magnolia and it is in the top left corner) I stare out at the sea like I do often, debating if it is time of not. This time I stare out at the sea ready to die because I have had enough. I no longer have a chance with the love of my life, no will notice I am gone, and if I stay it will just get worse. There was a soft breeze, making my dress and hair flow. I stare out at the sea and turned around ...3...2...1. I fell. The wind blew hard on my back. I watch as everything kept getting further and further away. A smile crept on my face. 'I am coming mom.'
*Ok it is over*
A week past and no one notice. 2 weeks past, then 3, then month, and then a year and no one noticed. The landlady came in Lucy apartment because Lucy needs to pay her rent. She opens the door and found the house covered in old blood stains and yet it didn't smell. She walks in to try to find Lucy.
"Lucy? Your rent is due."
"Buzz" She jumped at the sound. The landlady turns around to see several automatic air fresheners placed all over the house.
She continues to walk into the house and notices the unsealed letter on Lucy's desk. She turns it over and it read.
'To Fairy tail whenever you get it.' and in the corner 'Landlady, if they haven't gotten this yet please deliver it for me and sorry I made you do this I was hoping they would noticed within the year, but I doubt it. Thank you for letting me rent your place.'
She read the words and decided to take the letter to Fairy tail and have them clean out Lucy's apartment as payment for delivering the letter.
The Landlady reached Fairy tail and opened the door. "May I have your attention please!"
"Who are you, if we may ask." Erza stands up and questions her.
"I am or was Lucy Heartfilia's landlady. She wanted me to deliver this letter, but before I give you the letter I will need you to agree to clean her apartment for me." What felt like a rush of wind passed by leaving Fairy Tail in a state of confusion. They quickly got back and focused and what the Landlady was saying.
"Ahem,"
"Oh yes. So you are Lucy's landlady and Why would we need to clean her apartment?" Natsu hands Lisanna their new born child.
"There is blood all over everything." The landlady calmly states. The guild went into shock and mumbled to themselfs
"Blood what are you talking about!" Natsu says shock.
"Do you want me to read the letter she left you all?" She ask demandingly
"Yes please you, we will clean the apartment in exchange as you asked." Master says as he comes down the steps.
The landlady opens the envelop and reads:
Dear Fairy tail,
I wonder how long will it be till you see this letter, a week or two, a month, or even a year when my rent is due. I wonder when you will notice that I am gone. I wonder if you forgotten about me or don't care about me anymore. But anyway, I am dead. I going to commit suicide; I know that when you see this letter you will be anger, confused, hurt, blame yourself, or even crying, though I don't know why you didn't care when I was alive. I have been dead on the inside for a long time and none of you even notice. You didn't see through my fake smile, the fake laugh, the voice, or even my actions. You didn't care then so why do you care now. Well for I know this letter will never reach you and I would have become a fading memory.
Natsu and Lisanna congrats on the wedding, Gajeel and Levy live happy together with your growing family. Levy I finished my book if you want it you can have it. Wendy, Romeo please get together you are prefect for each other, same goes for Erza and Jellal, and Mira and Laxas. I hope everyone will live a happy life without me.
Love, Lucy the so called light of Fairy Tail.
Thank you for reading it :) If you like it please leave a review or favorite. If you want me to make some more please tell me.