Jack winced, his hands accidentally brushed over his stomach as he unbuttoned his blue coat. The wound still pained him but it was nothing compared to the ache that still lingered in his chest; an ache that had flared up to borderline insufferable when he caught sight of his fiancée at the memorial service.
Watching her stand beside the general, her spine straight, her face pale and impassive. Only the dullness in her eyes gave away what she truly felt.
He had no memory of the infirmary—the utter chaos that the firefight on P3X666 had caused. Three people had been taken in and only two were ever going to walk out of there alive. Jack remembered opening his eyes, feeling the throb of pain that ripped through his midsection and Gillian's relieved face hovering over his suddenly coming into sharp focus.
"You're going to be all right Jack the vest insert is what saved you--" She whispered before gently touching his hand and giving it a firm squeeze.
During Sam's speech not a single tear fell, even the major's thick emotional voice did little to sway the nurse practitioner.
*** **** ****
A last minute meeting had forced the couple to take separate vehicles home, Jack noticed the darkness as he stepped inside and removed his coat, draping it over the back of the couch.
"Gill?"
He started down the hall, his hand jerking at his tie and pulling it from around his neck. Bumping open the master bedroom door, it swung back on its hinges with a creak that seemed loud in the eerily silent house.
"Gillian?" Glancing at the bed, he saw her black pumps at the foot of it and her coat lying on the comforter.
Damn it where is she? Jack said to himself as he dropped his tie on the bed and went back down the hall. She wasn't in the living room or the guest rooms—the freezing garage too was empty. Jack leaned with his back against the kitchen counter rubbing his hands over his face.
The backyard.
Could she be out there?
Moving his hands away from his face, Jack turned around glancing at the sliding glass door that led to the back porch. He went over to it seeing that it had indeed been unlocked and with a tug the door slid back on its runner.
He stepped out into the screened in back porch, and there in the dark—he heard it.
The sound of muffled sniffling.
Bingo.
Emmy sat patiently on the other side of the screen door barking the moment she saw Jack. He let her inside and the dog quickly ran into the house. Jack slid the door closed behind her and turned around. He could make out a huddled form in the farthest corner of the porch, the silver moonlight hitting her shaking shoulders.
Still in her uniform, her legs drawn up and her arms wrapped tightly around them. Gillian's hair had mostly come out of the tight bun she had put it in, the red tendrils spilling over her crossed arms.
"Gillian--" Jack approached her slowly and carefully crouched down, her hand reaching out to stroke her hair. She seemed to recoil from him and he moved closer, both hands touching her trembling shoulders squeezing them.
"I'm here Gill--"
Raising her face she looked at Jack, the silver streaks shining down her cheeks. Just the sight of her pained face made Jack's throat tighten and he licked his lips.
Gillian lowered her legs and rose to her knees wrapping her arms around her fiancé's neck.
"I tried—I tried so hard to save her--" She mumbled against his shoulder.
"I know--" He replied in a whisper, his hand pressing the back of Gillian's head. "We all know you tried--" Jack squeezed his eyes shut feeling his own tears start to well up in them. "But Wells is going to be all right and so am I."
"She was my friend--" She sobbed miserably, her tears soaking into his light blue shirt.
"She was mine too—Janet save me more times than I can count--" Jack exhaled a pent up breath, finally letting the loss he had kept so carefully in check come through. Gill's eyes opened, feeling the tension in Jack's body tighten. Now he was the one trembling and it made the strength of her embrace increase.
"I felt so numb inside—Through everything I just didn't feel anything until I got home."
"Why?" He buried his head in her shoulder, strong arms locking around her midsection.
"The picture—on the dresser, the one of all of us at my birthday party. I saw her smiling face, her arms around Cassie and I just—I just lost it."
"That was a good day--" Jack whispered as he took a breath and exhaled it slowly. He felt better; the weight of all that grief and pain had subsided some. The hug ended and he pulled back enough to see her face.
"We had a lot of good days with Janet, those are what have we have to focus on now--" Jack gently wiped another tear from Gillian's cheek. "That's what she'd want us to do."
"I know--" Gillian sniffled, swallowing hard. "But it's not that easy."
"No and it won't be but we'll get through it, all of us will--" Rising to his feet, Jack held out a hand to Gill. "Come on, I think we need to go to bed. It's been a bad day and we're exhausted."
Gill slipped her smaller hand into his and got up, not wanting him to pull on his wounded stomach. Jack slipped his arm around her shoulders letting her lean against him as they walked.
*** **** ****
Jack pulled a t-shirt down his chest and carefully over his stomach. Normally he slept bare chested but with the injury to his midsection he chose a baggy white tee to protect it. In the bed Gillian watched him, the comforter pulled up to her waist. She wore her favorite silky white nightie, one of the first gifts Jack had ever given her and what she always chose to wear to bed when she needed comfort.
"Does it hurt a lot?" Gill asked watching her fiancé slip into his blue checkered pajama bottoms, it had a tie at the waist and he pulled it loose.
"Not really—I've had worse--" Running his fingers through his silver hair he sighed and clicked off the bedroom light. He circled around the bed and climbed into it, open his arms.
"Come here--"
Gillian slid into them carefully resting her head against Jack's chest with a grateful sigh. "I can't help but think about Cassie, what's going to happen to her now?"
"I think Janet put it in her will that Sam would get custody if anything happened--" Jack stared up at the ceiling, his hand rubbing down Gillian's hair and back. "Sam was the one that told her."
The image of Cassie's shattered heart and those blue eyes of hers rimmed with tears made more well up in Gillian's eyes. "That poor kid--"
Jack heard his fiancé's suddenly hoarse voice and felt the warmth of her tears soaking through his shirt.
"Shhh it's all right--" He tucked two fingers under her chin and lifted it seeing her shiny wet face. Closing his eyes he brushed his lips against hers. Gillian brought her hand up pressing it to the side of his neck as the kiss deepened. Jack rolled onto his back taking Gill with him. He shifted her so she wasn't lying on his stomach; his strong hands slid down to her butt and squeezed it firmly.
Gill gasped against his lips, her eyes wide as she stared down into his face. "Jack—I don't think that we should--" She shook her head, but one of Jack's hands touched the back of her neck and pulled her down for another kiss. They stayed that way, locked in a sweet kiss after sweet kiss until they were both panting.
"I think we both need it Gillian--" Jack's eyes held a familiar gaze, one of a need deeper than the physical pleasure of making love. His heart and soul needed to be comforted and Gillian knew she was the only one that could give it to him.
"But how? Your stomach—I don't want to hurt you."
"You know how we can do this--" His hands moved up to her shoulders and peeled the spaghetti straps of her nightie down her arms. Gillian offered no resistance as Jack peeled the satin gown from her. She lowered her head and kissed him again as she carefully gripped the waistband of his pants and slid them down his hips.
"Just promise me you'll let me do all the work, all right?"
Jack nodded. "I don't think I have much choice."
She rose to her knees and removed Jack's pants, letting them flutter to the floor. Crawling back up him, her knees slid up the outsides of his thighs as she moved into position. Tilting her hips forward and felt the press of Jack's hot erection against her pubic bone and leaned back taking it into her depths with a gasp.
"Ohh Jack--" Gill whispered as she raised her chin. She felt Jack's hands come up and she gripped them, their fingers sliding together. Opening her eyes, she lowered her chin and began moving up and down, her hips pressing down against his.
Jack kept a strong hold of Gillian's hands, locking his elbows so she could use him to keep herself balanced. The sight of her riding him, her chest moving and all the glorious red hair swinging with each slow stroke made him groan, the urge to raise his hips even a little, overwhelming. He wanted to—so badly, just arch his spine and push into her not caring if it hurt his stomach or not.
Gill's breathing grew ragged; she let go of Jack's hands and leaned forward, her palms sinking into the mattress near his shoulders. Mindful of her position she kissed Jack, her tongue slipping into his mouth.
"Mmmm!" Jack exclaimed in surprise, his hands gripped her butt and began pulling her hips against him.
She tore her mouth away from his panting as she squeezed her eyes shut.
"No!" Straightening up she reached down and plucked his hands from her hips. "I want to make love to you—I need to--" The tears began to well in her eyes and roll down her face as she leaned forward and kissed him, her wet cheeks brushing his face.
"I thought I had lost you-- But you didn't leave me Jack and I'm so damn grateful--" Gillian took a hitching breath and opened her eyes, gasping when she saw Jack's were just as shiny and he too bore wet tracks down his face.
"Jack?" Concerned, her hips stopped moving as she leaned down gently stroking his wet face.
"I couldn't stop thinking about you--" He began, his Adam's apple moving up and down as he swallowed. "The blast hit and for a split second I thought it had missed—but then the vest started smoking and I thought to myself that I was dead and I was never going to see you again--" Jack sighed, his hand came up to touch her face. "All that I hoped for was that you'd forgive me for dying—but then I woke up and there you were--" He shook his head slowly. "For the rest of my life I'll be grateful for that plastic insert because if not for Dr. Lee there'd be two of us being buried tomorrow--"
That statement broke them both down completely, Jack sat up and grabbed Gill by her shoulders pulling her into his chest. Not caring at this particular moment if it hurt his stomach or not, all he wanted to do was hold the woman he loved.
"I'm sorry Gill, sorry to put you through all that--" He sobbed helplessly into her shoulder, enfolding her in a strong embrace. A few pangs of guilt heated his face and he squeezed his eyes shut against them feeling like the world's biggest jerk for causing Gillian pain.
"You're alive and you're here, that's all I care about Jack--" Gillian returned the hug with equal strength, feeling the thudding of his heart against hers. She slid her eyes closed and simply let the pounding be music to her ears. After long moments, she lowered Jack back down to the bed and kissed him. Still feeling him hard inside her she took his hands and placed them on her chest.
"Just close your eyes and feel me--"
Jack gazed at her and nodded his eyes sliding closed, his fingers curled around each breast as he sighed.
Gillian too shut her eyes and placed her hands on top of his. She leaned back a little and rocked her pelvis forward, moaning at the sudden change in sensation, a steady rhythm beginning. She whimpered and groaned her breathing speeding up as she flexed her spine.
Beneath her Jack moaned, his head rolling from shoulder to shoulder. He sighed, his fingers gripping her chest harder as he felt a flush wash over his body.
"Soon Gill—oh God soon."
"For me too--" Gillian gasped loudly, her head tipping back as her mouth dropped open.
"Ohhh my God!" The speed of her thrusts increased as she widened her legs, the contact of their nudging bodies growing closer.
Jack's face tensed as he joined her; his orgasm coming in waves that made him moan breathlessly as he thumped his head back against the bed.
"Gill! Oh Jesus!" His jaw clenched and his fingers gripped her hips hard enough to leave red marks. Finally the pleasure subsided for both of them; Gillian had her head on Jack's chest, a bit dazed. She suddenly remembered her fiancé's injury and slid off of him, ending up face first on the bed beside him.
Carefully shifting on his side, Jack touched her hair leaning forward to kiss it.
"I love you--" He whispered, his nose burrowing through the thick locks.
Gillian turned her head sideways and a sleepy smile pulled back her lips.
"I love you too--" She shifted on her side and held out her arms. Jack didn't need to be invited; he moved close to her and rested his head against her chest. The fatigue of the day began to weigh heavily on him and his eyes closed briefly.
"You should rest now Jack—your body's been through a lot."
"I don't know if I can sleep Gill--"
"Try, I'll be right here with you."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
With a sigh, Jack settled down and in moments his deep even breathing signaled that his exhaustion had won the battle. Craning her neck Gillian kissed his head gently running her hand down his short hair. Jack instinctively tightened his arms around her and the intensity of it made the last of her lingering fears about the day blow up and disappear. Yawning, she closed her eyes and relaxed finally drifting into a peaceful sleep as she leaned her head against Jack's.
END.