Author's note: OK, PLEASE don't flame me for this, but I was talking to Liz and Bex on MSN and these four little ficlets just came out of nowhere! I couldn't just ignore them, could I?
Ficlet 1
Rimmer and Lister went to Starbug and they sat on some seats then Kryten said, "Would you like some tea, sirs?"
Rimmer looked at him unamused and said, "Does it look like I can have tea, Kryten? I'm a hologram and I can't touch things let alone drink tea. Leave me alone!" he screamed before running out of the cockpit, arms flailing.
"Well," said Lister, "That wasn't the weirdest thing that could have happened."
"Oh?" Kryten asked, "What is the weirdest thing that could have happened?"
Suddenly, Rimmer flew into the room with roller skates on singing 'penguins, look at the penguins' and blinking exaggeratedly.
"Never mind..." Lister said, defeated.
"Would you like some tea, sir?" Kryten repeated to Lister after Rimmer had flown out of the cockpit.
"No." Lister said bluntly.
"Very good, sir," Kryten said and he walked out.
THE END
Ficlet 2
Cat strode into the midsection, late as ever.
"Where have you been?" Rimmer asked annoyed.
"Where do you think?" Cat said like it was obvious, "I was aligning my eyebrows."
"You...you...you..." Rimmer couldn't think of the words so he flew around the room with roller skates on singing 'penguins, look at the penguins' and blinking exaggeratedly.
"Would you like some tea, sirs?" Kryten asked. Cat shook his head and walked out of the room.
THE END
Ficlet 3
Holly dissolved onto the screen in search of Lister but she found Rimmer instead. Holly looked at Rimmer, "Arn, have you seen Dave anywhere?"
"No," Rimmer said.
"Oh," Holly said and dissolved away. She found Lister.
"Just wanted to say hi" she said cheerily.
"Oh, okay," Lister said, "hi."
Holly went off in search of Rimmer, but she couldn't find him anywhere. She gave up, because, lets face it, she didn't care about Rimmer.
THE END
Ficlet 4
Kryten took a trip to visit Spare Head 2. He hadn't done so for a long time.
"Ah, Spare Head 2, how are you?"
Spare Head 2 just looked at him (well, what else could he do?) "How do you think I feel? I haven't been Head of the month for a year!"
"Oh, I'm sorry," Kryten said apologetically and immediately screwed his current head off. He fumbled in search for Spare Head 2, but he couldn't find him. He staggered around the room crashing into all sorts. Then he found him and screwed him firmly on his neck.
"Thank you"
"That's okay," Spare Head 1 said staring up from the floor.
THE END