As I reached my father Charlie's house, the place I had grown up in for as long as I can remember, I, for some unknown reason, thought of my mother. My mom Renee didn't want to be tied down with a child and a husband in the rainy town of forks so she left us when I was very little.
It's been a long time since I have been here and no one knows why I had left five and a half years ago; not even Charlie, my own father. Now with the reason in the backseat, my adorable daughter Lilly, everyone will know and I wonder how I will handle that. I guess only time will tell. I was so ashamed of what I did that I didn't want anyone to judge me so I left to live with my cousin Angela in Phoenix.
It was right after I had graduated from high school. My best friends, Alice, Jasper and Edward, had graduated with me. Emmett and Rosalie had graduated the year before and had already left for college but came back for our graduation. I had always had a major crush on Edward but I really don't think he even noticed me besides being his sister Alice's best friend. He always said he wasn't going to get involved with any girls since he had to concentrate on his studies; after college there was medical school. But I heard he had quite the one night stands. So there would be no way he would be interested in me back then since I was a plain, ordinary, mousey girl who has a lot of insecurities thanks to my mom.
I went to a party a few days after my graduation and everyone was there including Edward. All the pretty gorgeous girls were all around him and he loved it. I saw him hook up with this girl Tanya and they were making out like crazy and I couldn't blame her because Edward looked so hot. All I could do is stare at him and Tanya and wishing it was me with Edward and not Tanya.
A couple of guys came over to me, totally drunk, trying to talk to me and convince me to try one of their concoction drinks. I really didn't want to but they kept on talking about Edward and Tanya because they saw me staring at him. They told me that I would never be good enough for him and both of them were totally interested in me and told me how beautiful I was and how they wanted to get to know me. I finally took their drink and went for a walk with one of them. I should of known something was off with this guy but didn't really care because he was the only one who was paying attention to me.
He took me for a walk behind the house to a guest house on the property. It really was a beautiful piece of land the owners had. I was in awe of the landscaping but I really was trying to distract myself from the unknown that was about to happen. The drink he gave me was starting to take effect and I was feeling really good and buzzed. I had a bad feeling they spiked it with something but wasn't sure. When we got to the guest house I was looking around and noticed how beautiful it was.
He really seemed like a decent guy and I drunkenly thought that maybe we could get to know each other. I really wished I was with Edward but then I remembered who he was with and that he would never be with me that way. I thought at least this guy was interested in me and I should give him a chance. He said his name was Tyler Crowley but I didn't remember him from school. He kept on telling me how beautiful and smart I was and how he always liked me from afar. Once we got settled on the couch he started feeling my breasts and groping me and while he was doing this he was telling me how much he loved and cared about me. As I look back at that all he was doing is telling me what I wanted to hear. We ended up having drunken sex which wasn't pleasurable at all and I tried to fight but then the liquor was kicking in and I didn't have the strength. It just didn't feel right at all. As soon as he was done he fell asleep and I escaped from there as soon as I could. I felt so embarrassed and ashamed and was thankful I could escape without going through the house again.
I got out of the car wanting to forget all that had happened and get my daughter out of the backseat to go see her grandpa. I really have missed Charlie a lot and I hope all goes well.
As I knocked on the door I was feeling very nervous because I didn't know how Charlie would accept Lilly and I being home after leaving for all that time. Charlie answered the door and he was so excited he hugged me so tight and said, "Bells I missed you so much." I told him I missed him too and then we all went inside the house. Once inside the house Charlie bent down to Lilly's level and gave her a hug and said he was her grandpa and was very happy to meet her. Lilly giggled and gave him a kiss on his cheek. Charlie was never an emotional person but Lilly definitely got to him because I saw a tear fall down his face.
We sat at the table and got some Lilly some juice and we had some tea. We talked for a while about our trip and how I got the job at Forks High School. I told him that when I was staying with Angela she helped me out a lot and I was able to get my degree in English and I am now the new English Literature teacher. That was the main reason I came back to Forks. But more importantly, I missed my family and friends and Lilly needs her family in her life.
Lilly started to yawn so I took her and our bags upstairs to my old room. It didn't look like much had changed: same old walls and purple comforter. I gave Lilly a bath and changed her into her jammies and she went right to sleep. I went back downstairs to tell Charlie that I was going to bed also since I had a long drive. He understood but before I left I said, "Dad thanks so much for letting us stay here. I am not sure if we will fix up the guest room for Lilly or I should look for my own place but I appreciate you letting us stay."
Charlie said," Bells you can stay as long as you like. I would love you and Lilly to stay and Sue would just love Lilly to death but I won't push you. I really would like to know what happened but I will wait 'til you are ready." I nodded in understanding and left to go upstairs and try to sleep with the love of my life, my daughter Lilly.
The next morning I got up early because I really couldn't sleep anymore and thought I would get up and make some coffee for Charlie before he left for work. As the coffee was finishing Charlie came downstairs surprised to see me up.
He said, "Bells what are you doing up so early."
"I couldn't sleep Dad and I thought I would make you some breakfast."
I cooked Charlie some eggs and toast to have with his coffee and he asked what my plans were for the day. "Well," I said, "I have to get Lilly set up for Kindergarten at Forks Elementary School and then I have to go to Forks High School to get paperwork done. Do you need me to do anything for you?" Charlie said that Sue wanted to come over and see me and meet Lilly if I was up to it and have dinner. I said, "Dad that's fine and I will stop at store to pick something up to make for dinner."
Then he said something that made me anxious, "Bells I am not sure if when you left it had anything to do with the Cullens but just to warn you they are back in town. Emmett and Jasper work for the High School too so I am sure you will run into them. Alice and Rosalie own their own business and Edward is starting his residency at the hospital with his dad."
All of a sudden I was sobbing uncontrollably and my dad came over and hugged me. I told him, "Dad…I did something that I was ashamed of and I couldn't face you or them afterward. I know eventually everything will come out but I am scared and nervous how this will turn out I have missed them all so much."
Charlie then said "Bells I am here for you whenever you want to talk and no matter what you did or what happens I will always love you. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I am here for you when you are ready. I am sure all of the Cullens feel the same way and will be here for you also. They always ask me if I have heard from you with care and concern in their voices. Please don't worry about anything and we will all help you, OK?"
After Charlie's speech the waterworks started again until Lilly came down the stairs and wanted breakfast. She saw me crying and she said," Mommy what's wrong? Why are you crying?" I smiled at her. "Oh Lilly I am just so happy to be home these are happy tears."