Measure of a Man
Disclaimer: (insert witty disclaimer stating that CSI: New York is not mine)
Summary: Danny survived his tampon shopping and is now paying Lindsay back. One – shot. DL. Sequel to 'You Did Say Anything'. Watch out for 'references' to certain acts.
"Watch the leg Linds, Jesus! OW! The ribs too!" Lindsay Monroe gnashed her teeth and wheeled her partner into his apartment without running him into anything, as much as she'd like to.
"Daniel Emilio Messer, shut up and deal you big baby." Danny huffed but remained silent as Lindsay wheeled him through the mess of his apartment and got him ready for bed. She threw back the covers and took his shoe and shirt from him setting them on the window ledge before helping him get into bed.
"Watch it. Leg! Leg! Ribs!" eventually he quit whining and she was able to adjust his pillows and blankets.
"There you go. Pill?" She asked him offering up a pain pill.
"No. And for the record Lindsay, I did not… there was… having sex with Millicent was never brought up." Danny wanted her to believe him.
"You've lost your touch." Lindsay replied she gave a fake smile. She hadn't like Millicent from the start, then she was at the hospital while Danny was getting cleaned up talking about she had wished that she had taken him up on staying the night Lindsay about killed her.
"You're making light of an important situation." He replied seriously.
"No, you're making mountains out of mole hills. It doesn't matter. What does matter is that you get some rest." She said turning to go out of his bedroom.
"What are you going to do?" he called after her.
"Your apartment is a mess, if you're gunna be in a wheelchair for a while you need a clean path. I'll just tidy up a bit and go back into the lab." She sounded so domestic he felt that same feeling he had when he had tucked her in those few months ago. He smiled and she left him to get some sleep.
About an hour later Lindsay woke Danny up.
"I'm going into the lab. I'll call you every hour, if you don't pick up within the first five rings I'm sticking Hawkes on you. If you need anything, anything, call me ya hear?" she told him, he nodded sleepily, but gave her a signature smile as she left. This was the perfect opportunity for pay back.
Lindsay was at the gas station around the corner from Danny's apartment filling up when the man himself called.
"What 'cha want Messer?" she asked laying aside her pen.
"I just ate stale Pringles with Ketchup, I need food." He said, Lindsay laughed and replied,
"I'm at 'The Almost Always Open' right now." She said, "I'll pick some things up." She moved her car and entered the shop smiling at the teen behind the counter. Grabbing a basket she said,
"Okay, what d'ya wants?" The list started mundane, milk, Lucky Charms, Mountain Dew, hot dogs, chips; the basic male staples.
"Oh, hey, I need some condoms too." Danny told her, Lindsay swallowed her gum.
"You want me to pick up condoms?" she asked.
"Unless you've got a telekinetic power that's the only way you can get them to me. You do know what a condom is, don't ya?" Danny asked this was too much fun.
"Course I know what a condom is, but I don't know how you plan on using them, in my opinion sex would be a bit difficult with a broken leg and three cracked ribs, but then that's just me." Lindsay replied, she wasn't going to let him see (hear) her sweat, and if it meant a little bit of risqué flirting, why not?
"You've got a point, but there are things that can be done requiring a condom but not my legs or ribs. But I many not even use them until I get the plaster off, it kinda kills the libido. I just know I ran out and need to replenish before I forget." Lindsay was now standing in front of the condom section. It'd been a while since she had picked up any rubbers, she didn't remember so many brands.
"I thought you didn't have sex with Millicent." She said casually, but while her voice was chilly her blood was boiling and she couldn't finger why.
"I didn't!" He exclaimed.
"Fine whatever. What brand do you get? Need the extra 2 mm that maxim offers?" she asked on the defensive.
"No, I'm… uh standard size." This wasn't supposed to make him uncomfortable.
"Kay, interesting to know…"
"You planning to check my modesty Monroe?" he asked.
"In your dreams Danny." There was a pause. "Well should I get you flavored? You could use those for things while not using your legs or ribs." Lindsay asked picking up a box of banana flavored Trojans.
"Do you know anybody who likes those things; they don't taste right at all."
"Sight your source." Lindsay said putting the box back and raising an eyebrow.
"Don't you do that eyebrow with me, Miss Montana." Danny could just see her facial expression at that moment.
"Yes, sir, Mister New York, sir. One box of regular condoms coming up. Anything else?" she asked. Danny didn't need anything more and rang off. He sat and looked at his phone; it wasn't as fun as he imagined it. He wanted her to be just as mortified as he was buying tampons, but no she was still miss cool, calm and collected. He should've know better, she could have just as much fun with a condom as he could, it was only he that couldn't have fun with a tampon (although he didn't think bleeding for five days made women very happy either), the fields weren't the same. However if he couldn't embarrass her he could flirt and that he had, on that front it was a plus.
Lindsay let herself in with his key and he met her in the living room, he had spent the time she was gone and he wasn't sleeping practicing with the chair, he was now fairly good at handling it.
"Hey Trojan man." She said greeting him. He stuck out his tongue; maybe asking for condoms was a bad idea. She just laughed and began to load his cabinets with her goodies. She tossed him the box,
"If you we're trying to get me back about the tampons, it didn't work." She told him smiling. Suddenly his emotional trauma was a little lighter.
A/N: Don't know much about condoms, but the dialogue was fun in this one. I got part of this idea from an old Remington Steele episode (the leg and the Millicent bimbo). I think I prefer the tampons to this one, but I knew that Danny wouldn't let her go without at least a feeble attempt at pay back.