Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural

Warning: Male pregnancy.

Chapter One

Sam groaned.

If the nausea and the stomach cramps wasn't enough, now he could barely fit into his pants. Dean was waiting for him to high tail it though and he wasn't going to take having to listen to him complain when he was already so angry that Cas was helping to fix heaven. There was already so much to do before Gabriel had come back and Lucifer and Michael had been made to help fix the mess that they created.

"Damn Sam come on! Can you be any more of a girl?"

Sam glared at him until Dean turned away and then laughed.

"Not more than what you do every day when you realize that Cas is too busy to play."

It was Dean's turn to glare then and Sam only snorted as a reply. He didn't hesitate to follow behind and once he was in the passenger seat, he found his stomach starting to cramp up again. He bit his lip and hoped that Dean didn't see anything since it wasn't that big a deal. It must have been some sort of food poisoning, he reasoned. That was what it was and he was more than okay. He would be fine without having to worry about dying unless it was an appendicitis but if anything he began eating more.

"Something you might want to tell me?" Dean asked with a smug smirk on his face.

Sam groaned.

"No Dean, I'm fine. I think I have a mild form of food poisoning but I'm definitely going to live-"

"You better. Oh and word of the wise. When you want to get it down with your boyfriend, the ideal thing would be not to say, 'Oh, Oh right there' and 'harder' when anyone could just walk in."

Sam groaned.

"So let me guess, your jeans don't fit and you have been nauseous all week right?" Sam hesitantly nodded and Dean glared at him. "Damn it Sam, we can't afford to have a baby with us right now! Angels are restoring heaven, we're restoring earth, and there's no telling who's restoring hell-"

"Hey guys."

Sam and Dean quickly jumped before realizing it was just Lucifer in the back seat of their car. Dean glared angrily. For some reason there was no way to get Dean to forgive the fallen angel and Sam had an idea it was because he had blown Castiel to little bits and pieces when he had Sam as his vessel. Sam sighed and gave Dean a tired and annoyed look of irritation before Dean sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Fine I'll try to be nice. What the hell do you want?"

"Oh I was just wondering if you were having fun with the fact that little brother could be pregnant." Lucifer stated with a grin.

"WHAT?!"

Sam laughed.

"You mean Cas is pregnant?" Sam asked with an eyebrow raised.

Lucifer looked confused for a minute before nodding.

"I was told he was thinking of adoption."

"The only one who is getting adopted is you big brother. You can't even tell them what you were really sent down here for could you?"

Dean yelped but Sam just rolled his eyes. Of course Gabriel was going to be here. He would have to remember to tell him whatever he was giving him, he'd have to stop. His stomach was really bloated and it was uncomfortable to be going around with the issue remaining.

"OH YEAH? Gabriel you haven't listened to what the hell Lucifer had even said!" Dean interrupted one of their mock fights.

"Actually no. I was ignoring that for the sake of telling Lucifer that there was no way in hell he would be wanted and those who adopt him would eventually go insane and kill themselves. So what's your point?"

"I'm not pregnant."

Dean hugged Castiel to him and Sam just rolled his eyes once again. He realized the danger of doing so too many times and made a mental note to remember to bang his head next time.

"CASTIEL! You little ruffian. How's my little bro doing?" Lucifer asked excitedly despite Castiel tipping his head in confusion.

"I don't get what you mean by ruffian."

Dean just interrupted.

"So you going to tell us why Lucy was here in the first place." He ignored the noise of disgruntlement from Lucifer and instead made a point to get to the root of the problem so that he and Sam could take on the werewolf.

"I'm grounded." Lucifer said simply as though it wasn't a big deal. "Supposedly nobody likes it when you try to take over the world and kill things. It wasn't like I did drugs and stuff and I was going to leave the planet unharmed but nonetheless I can't do anything and am basically a simple mortal now. Happy?"

"Very," Dean replied under his breath sarcastically.

"Why is he here though?" Sam asked curiously.

Gabriel smiled brightly instead and latched himself to his side.

"Because baby, he is going to keep you two safe so that we don't have to worry anymore." He looked down and frowned. "Did you gain a little wait because I kinda remember you having to wear a belt for that pair of particular-"

Dean snorted in laughter and Sam glared pushing Gabriel away and crossing his arms to cover his stomach. Lucifer snorted and threw his head back and laughed just making the case worse for the younger archangel.

"Come on I didn't mean it, I was just asking and I did notice that you looked like you were unhappy with that so I wanted to know how to help…"

Dean huffed.

"You help? When have you ever helped him besides removing his clothes?"

Gabriel chuckled.

"I put them back on too."

Wiggling his eyebrows, Dean snapped and tried to jump him. Gabriel fell back and Sam with the enlisted help of Cas pulled the elder Winchester back, only to have Lucifer laughing at the show. Glaring at him, the fallen angel shut up instantly although a look of pure amusement played across his face.

"I am still confused about why saying someone's pants don't fit would be considered rude," Castiel finally said and it was all Dean could do not to groan.

Sam smiled at the confusion and allowed Gabriel to encircle his arms around him even though he hadn't fully forgiven him yet. They really needed to get on the road if they wanted to get it out-of-the-way but Dean was explaining manners with Cas, Lucifer was now looking bored, and Gabriel was slowly and stealthily trying to sneak a hand into his pants.

After several times of trying to dislodge it, Sam swatted it away in irritation making Gabriel pout. Sam just shook his head and signaled to Dean making Gabriel's pout deepen. Sam sighed realizing whatever he did, Gabriel was still going to be immature and try to get his way. Not this time.

"First and foremost since you decided to comment about the state of my jeans, you can get me new ones."

Gabriel groaned.

"Seriously? Besides I think it's more beneficial to talk about why Lucy is here."

"Don't make me tear you a new one Gabe dork," Lucifer warned. "I'm still older than you-"

"Yeah well you still suck in my book. I mean you had the biggest tantrum of all time and since daddy decided to restore everything, you are the one that's been grounded-"

"WHAT! If he's stuck then where is he going to be staying-"Dean trailed off seeing all the angels look at him each carrying the same expression. "NO! I will die before I take Lucifer under my roof and Sam has enough problems with whatever he's been experiencing right now-"

"He's not experiencing anything Dean," Cas told him with a frown. "He's pregnant."

"Pregnant?"

"Pregnant," Both Cas and Lucifer said with a nod.

Sam quickly decided that they weren't going anywhere for a while and chose to leave the car to get the room for an extra day.

Nothing was ever easy when angels were around.

"Use that!"

Sam quickly thrust it back into Dean's hand and shook his head defiantly. There was no way he could be. Number one being that angels were celestial beings and there was no way they were going to give Sam a baby since he was the far opposite of that. He might as well be half demon for all the demon blood that he guzzled and the fact that he sprung the devil in the first place. Dean glared and Sam just shook his head.

"Sam you've had nausea and vomiting for two whole weeks! That's not food poisoning, that's pregnancy!"

"Yeah and you should get tested too because we all know what you like to do on both yours and Cas's off time!" Sam quickly argued.

Dean glared and Sam glared right back crossing his arms.

Gabriel laughed and got between them.

"How about this, you two take the test and whoever ends up pregnant will shut their mouths and just accept that they are. That means you get Cassy to watch and make sure you don't try to fudge the results." He waggled a finger in front of Dean's face and shrugged when he bit it. He was an archangel and Dean was always doing things to try to get back at the pranks he made. So coming to an understanding, Gabriel gave Cas a look before he pulled Dean in the bathroom with him.

Gabriel waited until they had closed the door before turning to Sam.

"You do realize that we had unprotected sex about eight weeks ago right?"

Sam glared and Gabriel fell silent realizing that he wasn't helping matters. So he did the next best thing and that included ignoring Lucifer's snores and hoping Sam didn't get mad.

"Sam I love you. I never got to tell you before because I faced Lucifer and I thought I was never coming back anyways. Better not to know than to know and live with the regret that you never did anything. Well ever since you got back from hell and daddy got Michael and Lucy to help with the clean-up in heaven, I figured why not. We could have a baby. We could raise him or her and it will be great, so great. Why don't you want any kids?"

"Number one," Sam told him and Gabriel surprisingly was listening. "All kidding aside I'm the exact opposite of good. I've done nothing but bad things throughout and even if it was good intentions, why would they bless me with a baby and number two, Dean doesn't think there should be a baby at the moment. Says it is a bad time with the clean-up going on and everything. Would you honestly be able to tell me you could devote time to the kid?"

Gabriel shrugged.

"I'm sure I'd get that paternity thing to be able to spend time with the kid. Besides you are not evil. Stop thinking it. If anyone were blessed to have children, it'd be you."

Sam nodded although Gabriel knew he still didn't think it. He sighed and kissed him hard on the mouth.

"Tough because what I say goes."

Sam only began to get into the kiss with Gabriel when Lucifer objected loudly. By the time they went to shut the fallen angel down, Dean emerged triumphantly showing that he was indeed not pregnant.

"There ya go. I'm not pregnant because unlike somebody I know," He started and added under his breath, "Hound dog."

He then continued quickly before any of the angels could interrupt saying, "I know that I use protection or Cas does so between the two of us, somebody remembers. Now your turn and make it snappy while I call Bobby and have someone else take care of the werewolf."

Lucifer perked up.

"Werewolf? I could take care of him. Let me!" With a snap of his fingers everyone else froze for a moment and then Gabriel glared at him. "What? You grounded me! I still have the ability to destroy from a good distance away-"

"Yeah relationships! You've done that a thousand times over," Gabriel seemed likely to start a fight and Sam really wanted to get this over with so he grabbed the archangel and slammed the bathroom behind him.

Dean turned to Cas with a smug grin but frowned when he realized that he was about to brag about something that should not be happening. Not now. Daddy Winchester always spoke about how hunting was the number one thing and to save people was the family business; something that always came first and foremost out of everything else. Only Dean felt a little disappointed because he in fact wanted a baby between him and Cas now that he thought about it. He didn't ask how the angel felt but if the angel was ready he wouldn't hesitate. He just had to not go out on Sam when he found out if he was indeed pregnant like Dean inspected.

He was interrupted in his thoughts when Sam finally emerged not looking very happy and shoving the stick in his hands before crossing his arms over himself, something that Dean realized now that Sam had done a lot lately to hide just how big his stomach was getting. He rolled his eyes knowing he must be imagining it. One baby wasn't that big at however many weeks he must have been right?

Looking over he saw the big positive clear as day.

The only thing that was going through his mind now was on the what happened after that.

Because he had no freaking clue how to do this.