Highway to Heaven

This is my first short story, so please Read and Review to tell me what you think!

Disclaimer: I do not own BTVS (Don't we all wish we did though? Lol)

This story takes place in Season 5/6 of Buffy tracing her thoughts and feelings from jumping into the portal to entering the heavenly dimension and back again. I also added her possible experiences in heaven with a touch of Angel! So check it out and dive into a piece of heaven with Buffy! ;-)

Free falling into the sky of fire and lightning. Feeling pain slice up throughout my body as I focus on my mission. This is for the world. I could feel and smell my body burning and blinked away tears. I cannot let the pain overcome and get the best out of me. I must stay strong for my family and friends as well for myself.

I can feel the current of energy ripple throughout my body like poison choking me and could see directly through my mind's eye the defeated and sad faces of my friends and family. Out of all the pain I am being pressed through, their grieving faces hurt more.

Don't cry! I'll be fine. Please stop. Can't you guys see that this is my Destiny and that this is for you all? I cried out to them through my mind. The pain felt like it would last forever.

Above all the physical and emotional pain I prayed for them all, even Spike. I prayed that they would remain safe. I was beyond the scopes of fear to even consider my next journey or where this portal of hell would lead me. Something burned inside me then became a soft, wonderful glow. The pain stopped. I felt a surge of light come upon me. I looked back to see Willow gazing at me. Not through me like the others seemed to be doing, but at me. I gave her a half smile.

"Bye Willow, take care of yourself. Look out for the others. I must go now," I said softly as I became pulled up with full force.

"No!" Willow wailed over my voice as she shook with sadness.

The light took me in with open arms and I finally felt at peace and strangely happy as all my friends and family faded from my view.

"Buffy!" A familiar woman's voice called to me.

"Mom?" I asked looking around the golden, pink, and blue clouded entrance to trace the familiar voice.

"Look with your heart, Buffy! I'm right next to you!"

The voice seemed like it came from a strange ball of light that looked like a beam a flashlight would make on a wall, but it was much brighter and carried an aura of hope, joy, and love. Concentrating I blinked and reached for happy memories of my mother.

I could feel her and knew she was hugging me as I opened my eyes to see a glimpse of Joyce Summer's beautiful angelic face that shone brighter than any star I saw in the midnight sky.

"Mom! It's good to finally be with you again! I missed you so much!"

"I missed you too!" Joyce replied. "Buffy you have done such a noble thing saving your sister and sacrificing yourself! I am so proud of you sweetheart," Joyce said happily.

Where am I exactly? Is this Heaven? I pondered to myself.

"Well not exactly dear, it's just the gate of Heaven. I just came to meet you here," Joyce answered, reading my thoughts.

"Hey, how did you know I was coming and how did you read my thoughts?" I asked curiously.

"It's a connection we have Buffy. After you have been here so long you can hear other people's thoughts and feel what they feel, which is mostly happiness. Everyone is connected here. There are no restrictions because there is no danger. Love enfolds everyone here," Joyce replied.

"How come I couldn't see you at first?"

"It takes some time to adjust to the light in order to see into other spirits because you have been closed off in a world that mostly pushes away the True Light," Joyce explained thoughtfully.

"So I don't have to wait in line to enter the gate? I can just walk in? What is Heaven like beyond these gates?" I asked feeling excited and energetic.

"No, you are free to enter Paradise. Heaven is anything you imagine it to be,"

Joyce said as she and I walked through the gleaming golden gates.

Buffy's imagined Paradise

I have never felt this free and happy before in my entire lifetime, I thought as I circled of what looked like a soft, warm sandy beach. The sand did not burn me and the ocean's breeze did not sting my eyes. The sea answered the wind giving the atmosphere a musical beat. I closed my eyes to answer to the sea's call by swaying side by side. Everything was perfect and everyone was in sync with one another. Why couldn't our mortal life be this way? Why did we have to suffer for so long to get into this sacred place? I thought with a content sigh.

It's not that simple, Buffy, Joyce responded connecting her mind with mine as we listened to the surf's tune escalating and keeping in harmony with the birds in the air.

We need to go through trials in order to be able to appreciate the beauty and happiness we discover here, Joyce whispered in my mind.

True enough. I guess I now know what they mean when they say to save the best for last. There's just one person I wish had that chance to experience Paradise.

Angel can experience it through you, Buffy. All you need to do is concentrate and try to connect with his soul. He can be a part of your Paradise, but only temporarily.

"It's funny, Mom, that you suddenly no longer feel judgmental or against Angel," I said out loud with a wink.

"Heaven can change you, Buffy and it does not take much time before you feel yourself change and accept everyone," Joyce said enthusiastically with a soft laugh.

"What will I look like when I connect with him?"

"At first you may look like a part of nature, but as soon as you reveal yourself to him through your shared memories together he will appear spiritually before you. Make sure he is asleep. Spirits don't respond to the Heavenly spirits unless they are in a trance or are relaxing," Joyce whispered. "You have the power to change your Paradise or scenery. The sky is the limit," Joyce joked floating away while leaving me time to locate Angel.

It was hard to concentrate to find people on Earth when there was so much evil and pain clouding the pathway to other souls, but I knew and could feel that my friends and family were safe. I was grateful for that and channeled my thanks to the Greater Power.

Breathing deeply I concentrated on the surf. Breathing in time with the sea I closed my eyes willing myself to be pulled into the inner core of Angel's spirit.

Opening my eyes I uttered a tired sigh. So far there was no sign of Angel. Maybe I needed more practice. Searching impatiently through the world I found him in his L.A. apartment, leaning on his feathered bed looking restless and sad. He must have caught the call from Sunnydale.

Angel, come to me, I willed. No dice. Looks like I'm going to have to use the powers of nature to get inside his mind to relax him. I've got to stay focused. This is the last time I will ever be able to speak with him. Bringing my arm forward I blew the wind through Angel's bedroom window causing him to stir. His mind became like a staccato, building a wall around his thoughts, afraid of intruders to feel his anguish and know his vulnerability. This may take some time.

My heart went out to him. He always made me feel loved. I wanted to give him a gift in return for his love and support throughout my life. Gathering up all my new angelic powers I used my energy to conjure up a butterfly to move out of the night air onto his shoulder. He smiled sadly, but became more relaxed as his mind became clear as he stared at the butterfly on his strong, broad shoulder.

"My handsome Angel,"I whispered warmly into his ear, while the butterfly floated on Angel's shoulder, showing no fear towards the vampire.

"Buffy? Is that you?" Angel whispered in awe, looking at the butterfly on his shoulder.

"Well sort of. I'm still me, give or take a couple of wings and an antenna,"I said, laughing softly.

"I love you and I miss you terribly. Everyone does," Angel whispered, caressing the dark blue colored wings of the butterfly.

Well I'm okay. I'm happy now! No need to worry! I have gone onto a better place, I said transferring my thoughts to him with my angelic powers.

"You sound happy. How did you know I was worried?" Angel asked.

I read your thoughts and feelings by tracing your mind and soul. You don't need to speak out loud. You can transfer what you are going to say through thoughts. I'll share my thoughts and you can share your thoughts so we can connect and become one. This way no one in your Angel head quarters will think you've gone looney tunes like Dru, I whispered in his mind, laughing at the thought.

I wish I could just see you again and hold you one more time, Angel pleaded.

You can, but you are really going to have to concentrate and hold nothing back including our memories together. The memories will connect us closer. You need to relax and open your mind and spirit a little more or you will see a big bright blur. Dig deep, but don't let the painful memories surround and overcome you with great sorrow because those will just falter your journey to me. When you find me, I'll be waiting for you up here.

I don't know about this, Buffy, Angel thought wearily, feeling a bit uptight about going down memory lane.

I could feel Angel turn over thoughts and feelings in his mind and spirit like a silent black and white movie. I felt a bit of pain pass through him as he encountered the memories of falsely betraying me in front of Faith and the tragic moment of me killing him and sending him back to the evil dimension. For a minute I almost believed our connection and chance for our last meeting would break apart.

Believe Angel! For me! Don't worry about the past. All is forgiven and forgotten up here. I slightly touched his heart sending him emotions of great faith, and love like my mother had given me when I first entered the pearly white-golden gates.

Slowly Angel moved out of the painful state and resurfaced with the glory and good power I gave him. I could feel his spiritual energy tunnel through me. His spirit was weak, but nevertheless it was there in him burning bright with undying love, casting away the shadows of the past and the doubt in his mind.

Smiling, I turned my head away from the pounding surf and teleported in front of the white-gold gates as I sensed his presence appear before me. He looked surprised and happy beyond words. His spirit was a naturally faded gold due to his vampire state on Earth, but he looked thrilled to see me as his eyes adjusted to my blinding light.

"Buffy! I can't believe this! It's too good to be true. I'm standing in Heaven. How did you do this? I'm not evil on Earth now am I?" Angel asked feeling the peace, love, and hope envelope him as we walked through the gates.

"It's all elementary my good Watson! Who do you really think I am, Angel? You should know me better than that!" I said with a soft breathy laugh. "I used the powers given to me by the Higher Power to summon you while you were resting in your chair. You will not hurt anybody, I promise! You are as gentle as a kitten down there! I just wanted to see you this one last time and to give you the gift that you deserve," I admitted as I raised my arms in the air to reveal a scene of a romantic picnic, and the sun shining on the beach.

This is outstanding! I can feel and see the sun again! Thank you! Angel thought, getting used to the special power of telepathy.

Now for the tricky part of actually fusing our energy together! I thought to myself, hoping that just this once the Greater Power will allow Angel and me this last loving and sacred moment. The Greater Power surely had rules and ways of the heavens. Spoiling or taking advantage of my power may lead to dire consequences. One never knows of the immediate reaction of the heavens. The heavens could be a place for forgiveness, but then again try anything against the Big Guy and you may not be able to see another trace of daylight even after your transition into a spirit. It's too late to rethink my situation now that he's here with me. Just one time! I beg you and then I'll give him up, I promise! My only answer was the sound of the birds calling to each other.

I've got to take this chance! You understand, right? Silence followed. It was now or never and I wished to give Angel this moment since the day he went through that torturous portal.

Come here, Angel.

Angel floated obediently toward me as I reached out to touch him. It felt like we were flesh to flesh, but in truth his body was still resting in a trance on Earth and my body was buried underground. Our hands met with glowing energy sizzling between them.

I cannot keep you here, but I can give you the experience of heaven, Angel, I whispered tracing his face with my finger.

Lets make it an experience that can last a lifetime, Angel joked, winking at me.

Angel joking? Now this was really heaven!

The scenery was glorious with the sun sparkling and warming over us. We laughed and giggled as we swam through the unpolluted ocean. Waves crashed over us as we bounced right back over them. The water was cool and refreshing and gave Angel's naked skin an even brighter, more beautiful glow against the sun. We splashed each other and raced and bobbed in the water against the waves without so much as a care in the world. His laughter and true happiness was music to my ears. A smile actually gleamed through his eyes and for the first time there was no haunted or shadowy trace behind it.

How I wish to give this to him everyday for the rest of his existence, but nothing is ever for certain on Earth and we had this time together now.

I stopped splashing him suddenly and reached for his face to pull him in for a kiss. When our lips met every part of me melted. He held me in the supportive shelter of his strong arms. I sighed. Pure perfection.

Breaking away I gave him my hand and lead him to the picnic basket full of a buffet of food that I provided.

Real food at last! This could not be more perfect, Buffy! Angel exclaimed while giving me a quick kiss on the lips.

It's all your favorites when you were a human. Here is some spaghetti, stir fry, tacos, and much more including wine. Enjoy! Take your time to carve this into a new, wonderful memory.

I watched him dig into the feast like an eager child ripping into a gift on his birthday. The candles reflected his eager face and his enthusiasm never faltered once as he took the time to taste every dish that there was out in front of him. The smell of the spices and herbs even made me a bit hungry, but I felt more content on watching Angel's face light up with delight each time he took a bite of food.

In heaven you never felt bloated or stuffed. It took Angel awhile to register that I was not touching anything on the picnic blanket.

Aren't you hungry?

Nope, Angel, I'm honky dory over here watching you stuff yourself, I stated laughing calmly, resting my head in my hands and turning my body to the side to face him. What's wrong? Can't finish? Lost your appetite, Angel?

Not exactly, Angel whispered as he pushed the food to the side and pulled me to him. Reaching out I clasped my arms around his neck drawing him closer as our kiss deepened drawing a pure current of pleasure throughout my essence. This is really happening to me! Angel is here and is sitting in the sun and is kissing me! I sighed as his mouth glided across mine with such passion and tenderness. I slipped my hands up his back, massaging it in circles in the same timing and rhythm as the breeze and the waves crashing the shore. I could hear the surf change its motion to a softer, more musical tune, humming in my ears echoing our rhythm and tempo. Blinking momentarily I removed our clothes with my mind powers. His dark thick brown hair and broad chest was still slick and gleaming from the water and touch of our bodies as it glowed from the candlelight. I kissed and touched him from his stomach to his chest to his broad shoulder and neck and finally to his luscious mouth, kissing it softly. His chocolate brown eyes widened with pleasure as he breathed out my name, quietly saying that he loves me. I echoed his call by responding in the same way by whispering his name in a sigh as he skimmed his fingers over me.

Finally we came together in what could only be the most sacred moment of my existence. Our souls lit and sparks of light flew off of ourselves as we beckoned for our united release.

Gently he pulled me next to his side and cuddled with me stroking my hair and whispering loving words of endearment. I pulled my arms around him and put my head on his chest and heard the actual sweet tempo of his heart. The surf returned to a more calmly state as it brushed across the sand lightly. I sighed contently. This was what unselfish love felt like. No holding anything back. No hiding anything or hurting anyone, I thought contently.

Wow, you rock my world, Buffy. No one could or would ever be as close to me as you are. You make everything stand still, Angel replied lovingly as he read my thoughts.

Really? No kidding! I said giggling and pecking him briefly on the lips.

Really, really, Princess! He thought tickling my naked back.

Angel, there's something I meant to tell you. I said looking away at the birds breezing through the deep blue sky as I reluctantly used my mind powers to put our clothes back on. This thing between us can only be temporary. This was my goodbye gift to you. You need to get back to L.A. to help the Angel Investigations. I can see that they need you down there! It's urgent! Cordy is not looking too well with her vision attacks. You might want to check it out. I am sorry for doing this to you. I thought as I got up gradually from the blanket and helped him stand up.

What is there to be sorry for? You gave me an experience that may be the most extraordinary thing anybody has done for me. I know I have to go, but before I say my last goodbye, give me one last kiss.

The kiss was simple, but strong with an everlasting memory marking our bond of love. Breaking apart first, I held Angel's hands and told him to relax as I connected back to Earth, the butterfly, and to Angel's resting, relaxed body. I sent my shimmer of light down like a ladder back to Angel's unconscious state. As soon as his conscious state woke up, I willed the butterfly to swiftly touch his cheek then disappear into the night.

Crushing, Unexpected Turn of Events in the heavens

"How is your sacred experience with Angel? Did it work?" Joyce asked, smiling shyly.

"Like a Charm, Mom. I never knew how sweet a goodbye could be," I replied cheerfully.

"I'm glad it went well," Joyce replied.

"Will he be able to remember our time together in the heavens, Mom?" I asked as we settled on a huge silver lining cloud to get more comfortable.

"No, Buffy, I think as soon as the spirit hits Earth almost everything is a blank slate," Joyce said matter-of-factly.

"Do you think I made a mistake by bringing Angel here?" I wondered out loud.

"I don't know. What do you think, Buffy?" Joyce responded by reflecting the question back.

"It seemed okay to me. No lightning bolts yet from the Big Man, so I guess everything is okay," I said, feeling self-righteous and yet I still was not sure of my decision with Angel. It was hard to call. Nothing we did was wrong. It was just unbalancing the Earth and heavens temporarily. How long are Earth's minutes compared to the heavens? Oh well, it did not matter since everything was right to where it belonged again. I was going to be fine. Besides, nobody ever worries in heaven. It sounds foreign!

Silence filled the space between us. My mom's company whether talking outwardly or telepathically and/or sitting in silence was comforting and warm. I never had been this close to her on Earth and it feels wonderful to know that I have her by my side forever.

Suddenly, I heard a familiar female voice echo loudly throughout the heavens as a clap of lightning jolted through our cloud shaking it forcefully. The voice boomed and echoed and pleaded out the name Cyrus shaking the heavens and sending a bit of unusual disturbance throughout them. There was no doubt now in my mind as I recognized my friend, Willow's voice call and demand for my return to Earth.

"Cyrus, bring her back now!" Willow demanded loudly, shaking the heavens like an earthquake on hard soil.

"Mom, what is she doing?" I asked and instead of my mom's face, I saw the glowing blurry ball again. "What is going on? Why does Willow want to rip me from heaven?"

"I don't know, Buffy," Joyce stated solemnly. "They seem to be changing your essence and needing your help down there badly."

"I don't want to go back! Please, Mom, please! Help me! Don't make me go back there! I want to stay with you! I'm through with living the fearful, torturous, mortal life!

Please, stay with me!" I begged, trying to grab my mother's hand, but only grabbing gold air as my spiritual form passed through the silver cloud we were sitting on.

It seemed like no use. I couldn't stop the spell. All the pure hope, love, and joy tore out of me as I fell from the heavens. It felt far worse than being physically wounded when I died. It felt like I was dying again, but this time with more force and actual scarring in my very soul. As I hit the surface of the Earth every good feeling in me died along with my memory about almost everything in heaven. I was in oblivion again and this time there was no light. Everything I knew in Heaven including the memory of Willow's spell flooded out of my system as I hit my body with a quick jolt. Fear took over and engulfed me as I heaved for breath and scratched at the surface to get out of the hollow box. Finally breaking open and digging myself out of the never-ending tunnel of cold, damp darkness, I grabbed hold of the surface to jump out quickly, shaking and heaving for breath as blood ran across my torn up hands.

Where was I? Everything seemed so blurry, and imprisoned with a thick massive impression of evil in the atmosphere with the smell of fire burning around me. I turned around to examine my surroundings and glanced down at what was shockingly my own gravesite, Buffy Summers – Dearest friend and sister who saved the world a lot.

I cringed as a cold sweat came down my back. I need to get out of here. I don't belong here! How did I get here? Another cold shiver shook throughout my body as I started to remember Glory, the demons, fighting, and my untimely death again. I was back in hell with no way out!

The Beginning of the End

I hope you enjoyed my story! Please send me your reviews! I really want to hear about what you thought of it!