Hello readers, I feel like this story needs a little bit of introduction as it's unlike anything I've seen here to-date. It's done in the style of a shoot-interview; if you've never read anything like this outside of drama class here's the basics: At the beginning of each chapter the characters' names are written out one time apiece, after that they're abbreviated (I = Interviewer, J = Jon Moxley.) There are no other speaking characters so everything else should be self-explanatory. Shout-out to the lovely mx joyride for reading bits of this smut out of order and telling me it was worth finishing the whole smutty thing. Rated M for Explicit Mox violence and slash. Reviews always welcome.

Interviewer: Good evening, friends! Welcome back to "No Holds Barred" on Sirius XM Late Night, an intimate chat with your favorite stars working in professional wrestling today. My guest tonight in Jon Moxley, formerly from every indie wrestling promotion in the country except Ring of Honor. [laughs]

Jon Moxley: Fuck 'em! [laughs]

I: Folks you may know him as Jon Moxley, but he's recently signed to World Wrestling Entertainment's developmental territory, FCW, and has undergone a name change. What do they call you now, Jon?

J: Dean Ambrose.

I: Dean? So Dean, can I still call you 'Jon'? [laughs]

J: Fuck yes! Of course you can. I don't answer to 'Dean' yet anyway. Drives the trainers fucking nuts! [laughs] They never know if I'm bullshitting them or not!

I: Jon, I want to talk about something I saw in a dirt sheet recently-

J: Oh God! What did you read? [laughs]

I: OK, OK I realize dirt sheets aren't always the best way to get reputable information but this was too intriguing NOT to mention. It said you and and a re-packaged Tyler Black from Ring Of Honor might be teaming up.

J: Ah, what dirt sheet was that? I want the name! [laughs] You know we can't really speculate about shit like that, but I'm not going to come right out and deny it- do you get what I'm saying? Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose may be coming to ring near you. Or we may not- [laughs] you know how this shit goes.

I: I do! Thanks for attempting to answer my question. How did you feel the first time you saw Seth Rollins wrestle? Is that Tyler's new name?

J: Maybe. [laughs] Kidding! Anyway, I know what you're asking. I saw him when he was Tyler Black, although the first time I saw him I didn't actually SEE him, like in person. But he was still fucking burned in my brain and there was no going back.

They say you've got specific windows of time to learn stuff, and if you don't learn it, you never will. Like foreign languages and shit. Anyway, I think I missed my window to learn how to let stuff go. They called me "Street Dog" in the indies and it annoyed the fuck out of me. People assumed I earned that title for being a dirty street kid with a hooker for a mom- but it's not true. They called me Street Dog because anyone who knows me for two fucking seconds can see that I don't let shit go. Like, I'll get something in my head and it'll just fucking stick there. Like my brain's some undefeated pit bull in fucking dog fighting ring. And the cops could be raiding that fucking warehouse and carting my owner off in the paddy wagon and I'd STILL be biting the shit out of that other dog. My brain can get vicious- stuck on shit sometimes. And that's like, what happened the first time I saw Tyler Black wrestle.

We're indie guys, so people don't really video tape us very often unless it's like for a regional pay-per-view or some drunk douche with an iPhone or whatever so I'll admit the first time I SAW Tyler Black he was like, an inch and a half tall on a laptop we stole from the production office of a dive we wrestled in, like a local gym or something, whatever. They didn't have the lights hung for the ring yet because there was like YMCA soccer in there that morning or some shit so they told us to go practice somewhere- but of course we didn't.

I: Of course not.

J: Yeah, indy wrestlers are just this side of juvenile delinquents, so if you tell us to do something chances are we're going to fuck off and go smoke in your bathroom or break shit, you know? Anyway, so we're huddled under these freezing cold bleachers, smoking and watching a bunch of Ring of Honor video clips on this laptop. And this crazy motherfucker jumped off turnbuckles and shit like he just fucking had a death wish. And he was really fucking good. At least as good as me if not a little better with the high-flyer shit and stuff. Of course he was like two-inches tall on that laptop but the way the ropes hit him I gauged he was about as tall as me. And he wore short tights which I fucking love; people don't really think about this, but you have to have a certain level of comfort with your body to wear short tights. And his were low! Like, lower than mine. They make a couple of different cuts of short tights. Most of us wear like, the 'granny panty' full coverage-style ones, you know what I'm talking about? [laughs] But there are guys like CM Punk that wear the, uh, Brazilian- cut shit I guess. Like, it's pretty low on your hips and high on your legs. It's good for MMA-type guys and high flyers. And that's what Tyler wears.

I: Wait, I've seen you in the short tights, like- the small ones-

J: [laughs] OK, yeah, you got me! I've got like maybe two pairs. Truthfully I got them to wear with jeans, like under jeans for hardcore matches and shit so the high waist didn't stick out and make me look like a dumbass. [laughs] Seriously though, what really got me about Tyler Black was his hair. He's got this crazy-ass long, dark hair. I really fucking envied that hair, because as you can see even in my mid-twenties I have the luxurious hair of a middle-aged insurance salesman. Sexy, right? [laughs] 'I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me so hard.' [laughs]

I: Buffalo Bill, nice.

J: Yeah! The actor who played Buffalo Bill in in Silence of the Lambs is from Ohio, like me. That's one of my theories for why people are so freaked out by my voice, you know? Anyway, I was watching this laptop and I just got this vision, of like, wrestling the guy and fucking dominating him. Like, I'd get him down and he'd put both arms over his face to cover up. And anyone who's seen me wrestle knows I've been working on this fluid, chaotic- crazy gimmick for a few years now, like the Joker and shit. So he'd go to cover up and I'd just grab both his fucking arms and BAM- just pin them both right next to his head, and get right in his fucking face, like, "you don't have a fucking chance." And he'd look at me, half faking scared- half really fucking scared, and I'd just crazy-smile at him like a sick motherfucker. And it occurred to me that even though it was minus twenty degrees in that stupid gym my body was on fire and it felt un-fucking believable. Watching Tyler Black wrestle huddled under those bleachers in that dive venue is when I first realized I could fuck another man. Like not just think about it- actually fucking do it. And from then on my brain would not let it go. I was just consumed with the shit I would fucking do to that man if I ever got a chance to touch him. It's like a line from this promo I cut once when I was working for Combat Zone, "I'm just a sick guy." And like, my egotistical mind always wanted it to end one way where he was booked to lose of course and I just destroyed him, but my dick always wanted it to end another way- you know? I mean, I still wanted to destroy him- [laughs]

I: So you were an adult before you realized you were gay? That's pretty rare, isn't it?

J: I wasn't an adult when I realized it, no. I knew when I was a kid. See, here's the thing about my sexuality- I've never really lied about it, per se. Other than lying by omission, of course. I've fucked girls. More than a few, if you want to get really personal. More than your average gay guy, at least. And you're probably asking yourself "why would you fuck a girl if you're not attracted to girls?" And here's why: because only fags don't fuck girls, and when you're a dirty street kid with a prostitute for a mother, you don't need that shit on you, ok? Maybe if you're from San Francisco or Seattle or whatever that doesn't make much sense to you, the hiding in plain sight-thing by NOT fucking dudes even though you're obviously gay. But I guarantee you if you're from the midwest it fucking does. There's no 'Pride' here. I didn't want to get strung up on a fucking fence. Like, I know I'm from Cincinnati, which is a fucking city and the fence-thing happened in Wyoming or whatever, but still. In my head I'm still a skinny fag so that shit kinda gets to me. Anyway, it's not all bad because when I was banging girls I used to go to bars and shit and since I didn't care I'd pick these really ugly ones. No competition for them, and they tend to be freaks in bed. Chaos, I like that in people. Plus, if you tell them you're a wrestler in town on an indy tour they practically jump on your dick. Win-win.

I: So when you cut that "I'm a sick guy" promo and said you go to bars and bang ugly chicks…?

J: I was telling the fucking truth! God, that was the closest I ever came to outing myself in my indie days, you know? I got on camera and basically said, 'I fuck beards!' [laughs] Really fucking brilliant, Jon! [laughs] Truthfully though, that promo made my life hell. I still catch hell for it to this day! Because you have no fucking clue how many chicks are into indy wrestling until you buy a girl a drink in a dive bar in the middle of sheep-fucking nowhere and she smiles at you and says "Thanks for the drink, Mox. Am I ugly enough for you?" And then she storms off. [laughs] I was celibate for like, almost five months for that fucking promo. I didn't think my co-workers were EVER going to let me live that shit down. I mean, why do chicks like indy wrestling anyway? We're not World Wrestling fucking Entertainment. THOSE fuckers are like watching underwear models fight. My favorite part is when they pull each other's hair because it just looks like a total bitch-fight, you know? Shit. Whatever, everybody pulls hair, it's a standard wrestling-move. It just looks funny when a bunch of underwear-model-looking dudes do it is all I'm saying. Anyway, I'm with FCW now, so now MY white ass is the hair-pulling underwear model, maybe we can edit this out of the final interview, you know? Please? [laughs]

I: This interview is live, Jon. [laughs]

J: Oh shit. [laughs] Quick, ask me another question before they delay my debut indefinitely! [laughs]

I: So you mentioned that you were scared that people would find out you were gay, but you also say you've never lied about it. Could you elaborate a little on that?

J: I know it sounds weird. It's hard to explain. It's kinda like this- when I was a kid there was this other family in the apartments we lived in and we were like, "apartment-friends" or whatever- poor people will get that- we played at the apartments but like not at school or at the park or whatever, OK? And the lady had two kids and she was amazing. Even as a kid I thought she was like, the kindest lady I'd ever met. And a couple years after they moved in, this little half-black kid from down the hall started turning up at their apartment all the time. That kid's mom was like, worse than mine if you can fucking believe that. Thought she was a fucking lounge singer or whatever. Anyway it was obvious that she had no interest in raising him, so the lady, she like convinced the kid's mom to sign him over to her. Adopted him. Honestly, I could have fucking died of envy. But one of the only good things that comes out of a shitty childhood is the ability to recognize when someone has a shittier life than you do- and that poor kid did. Are you still following this story? Stay with me here.

So this lady now has three kids, and she's a fucking saint so she NEVER refers to her adoptive son as her adoptive son, he's just her son, you know? And when you live in a tenement the turnover's pretty high, so we all had to introduce ourselves to new tenants pretty often. And this was when my cousin lived with us but my Mom didn't really leave the apartment during the day, so my cousin and I would introduce ourselves to the new people by ourselves or whatever. But this lady and her husband, they'd line the kids up from oldest to youngest to introduce them, only the kid they adopted, the half-black one, actually ended up being their middle child. So they'd introduce themselves to the new family in the building and you could just see the little hamsters in these people's brains running on their fucking wheels trying to figure out how a half-black child got born to two obviously white parents in between two white children and I remember thinking, "It takes balls to honestly not give a fuck that profoundly." Like, she'd just introduce her kids and if you were too stupid or judgmental to figure it out then she didn't care. That's how I am with my sexuality now. I just am- and if you're too stupid to figure it out or too close-minded to deal with it then kiss my ass. I've never had a guy refuse to wrestle me- I've had a pretty good run of things, when you consider it. There's some pretty big homophobes in indy wrestling.

I: Definitely. Ring of Honor most notably. How did you know Tyler Black wasn't one of them?

J: Well, first of all, he and I have one very significant thing in common. It's the reason we both have relatively winning records in wrestling, I think. We both get off on pain. It's really fucking hard to beat someone in a wrestling match who gets fucking high when you hit him. [laughs] I could tell the first time I saw Tyler Black get hit that it got him as hot as it did me. It's hard to explain how much of a turn on that was when I realized it. Straight guys generally don't get that hot when a dude hits them. Me on the other hand, I've always associated insane pleasure with violence. I have no fucking clue what caused it though, coping mechanism from my fucked up youth maybe? Don't ask me. Hit me enough times though, and it's like I'm a fucking god. It actually comes in handy, so I'm not complaining or whatever.

I: Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think you two have ever wrestled for the same promotion at the same time. How did you end up meeting in person?

J: Well we actually ended up in the same town. It's crazy to think that some of these tiny fucking towns have TWO whole venues for indy wrestling AND the population to double-book shows for the same night, but sometimes that's all that's there. Well that and a bar, usually. Which is why I have to admit I wasn't completely shocked when I walked into the bar, completely fucking flying from the match I'd nailed just thirty minutes prior, wearing a fucking title belt on my shoulder because we were scared our car was gonna get jacked so we couldn't leave the titles in there [laughs] and came face to face with the Tyler Black I'd been shamelessly jerking off thinking about for a year or more.

I: Did he look like how you imagined him?

J: Listen, you've seen him. He's fucking stunning in person. I was right, we're almost exactly the same height, so I was suddenly just staring right into his eyes. Here's something people don't know about Colby-uh-Tyler, sorry, [laughs] his eyes are fucking black. Like, they're so fucking dark you can't tell where his pupils are. Really hard to fucking read them- it's crazy. It's like when I was a little kid there was this pond in a run-down public park near our apartments and I used to go there at night in the summer because the apartment was just fucking sweltering- even at two in the morning. Anyway this pond probably had industrial runoff in it or something because you couldn't see the bottom of it and at night it was just fucking BLACK- you know? But I didn't give a shit- I'd just strip off my clothes and dive in and god- it felt amazing! Like, you can only fucking burn for so long before you'll just jump right into something potentially dangerous for the chance that it MIGHT soothe you. I guess I'm lucky I didn't drown in that shithole or anything! [laughs] Seriously though, that's what his fucking eyes are like- I catch people looking away a lot when they talk to him so know I'm not the only one who notices. I was so fucking ready though, you have no idea. I just fucking jumped into those eyes and refused to look away, even though it seriously felt like I WAS drowning! [laughs] I was just like, "I'm so ready for you, you gorgeous bastard. This has played out a thousand times in my head- you're not going to know what fucking hit you!"

I: So what happened when you saw him?

J: We did that awkward moment of vague recognition-thing, and he was like "Hey you're Jon Moxley, the 'Street Dog!'" and funny story, it was the first time someone called me 'Street Dog' and I didn't feel compelled to punch them in the fucking throat. I wanted to say, "Hey, you're Tyler Black! The guy I fantasize about torturing until he comes so hard he blacks out!" But I think I just mumbled, "Hey Tyler." Or something equally as shitty. See, here's the thing; I'm not that crazy, fluid chaotic evil guy I pretend to be in wrestling. I wish I were that guy, there are times I can temporarily be that guy, but I had a shitty childhood and even the most basic social skills elude me most of the time. Like, I can sit here in front of this mic and talk to you and shit, but put me in a room full of people that I'm supposed to befriend and I just can't do it. In fact, in retrospect, I'm not sure why I didn't have my headphones in when I walked in the bar that night- must have accidentally packed them in my luggage or something. I nearly always carried them with me. Worked out in my favor though, if you know what I mean?

I: I might. [laughs] I'm sure you know this, but Tyler Black is a dear friend of "No Holds Barred" and has indicated that you two were intimate prior to working in FCW. Is this bar meeting the incident he was referring to?

J: Are you asking me if I fucked Tyler Black the first time I saw him in person?

I: Well, yes I guess I am. [laughs]

J: The short answer is "no" we didn't fuck per se. It was still pretty mind-blowing though- and there were dicks involved. [laughs] Do you want the long version?

I: Well, shit! You know we can't just leave it at that on "No Holds Barred!" [laughs]

J: You're starting to sound like me! Fuck! [laughs] OK here's the story. It's pretty epic, and maybe it paints a picture of me as a dark motherfucker- I don't know. Remember how I said I'm not that crazy guy normally, but I can be him temporarily? Yeah, physical intimacy is one of those situations. And you know how I said I get stuff stuck in my brain and I just can't fucking let it go? I guess I'll just tell the story and if you have to end the interview and call the cops or whatever then fine! [laughs] The dude lived obviously, so no crimes were committed; and the dirt sheets say we're teaming together so he obviously didn't get a restraining order against me, that's what matters, right? [laughs] OK, you ready?

I: Well almost. We need to take our first break, but we'll be back in five with Jon Moxley's first physical encounter with Tyler Black! Stay with us!