Writer's Workshop
"Huggable vixens, sugar ponies, laughing crystals, macaroni. Edible bubbles, fluxed vampire. Yellow quince, eight walls of..."
KNOCK! KNOCK!
"Pyro?" Piotr's voice appeared alongside Pyro's train of thought. "Pyro, are you in there?"
"Disappearing tubas, blood moon, flaming mosquitoes," Pyro mumbled distractedly.
"Pyro?" Piotr cautiously opened the door to Pyro's room. Pyro was seated at his desk surrounded by several sheets of paper. "Ah, there you are."
"Oh, hey mate," Pyro finally broke out of his reveille. "What's up?"
"I was wondering if you would like to play a game or two of pool," Piotr said.
"Na, not right now," Pyro declined. "I'm right in the middle of working on my latest story."
"Oh. I am sorry," Piotr apologized. "I did not mean to bother you."
"Aw it's no bother, mate," Pyro smiled good-naturedly. "Right now I'm just playing around while lost in a brainstorming session."
"Brainstorming?" Piotr frowned in confusion.
"Yeah," Pyro turned to face him. "Ya know. Planning things out. Coming up with ideas. Working on the creative process."
"Ah," Piotr stepped in and took a seat on the edge of Pyro's bed. "I understand what you mean. I do the same thing when I am working on my drawings."
"Really?" Pyro blinked.
"Yes," Piotr said. "When I am having trouble coming up with ideas or unsure how I want to proceed with a certain work, I do some free sketching and draw anything that comes to mind."
"That's exactly what I do!" Pyro exclaimed excitedly. "I write down anything and everything that pops into my head and then select the best bits to try and weave into a story."
"Me too. Though I have to erase and redo my sketches so the final drawing appears fresh and different from anything I have previously done before," Piotr sighed. "Coming up with new ideas is hard."
"You're telling me," Pyro agreed. "My stories may end up being original masterpieces, but I have to scramble like mad to find a story line that no one else has done."
"Wow, I did not realize that," Piotr blinked.
"And when I do find a new story idea I guard it like crazy," Pyro looked around protectively. "Don't want some bloody crook to come by and steal my ideas. A writer's work is top secret! If anyone tried to steal my ideas I'd light the bugger up and burn 'em to a crisp!"
"What?" Piotr gasped. "You can not do that!"
"Sure I can, mate. I've got an artistic license!" Pyro grinned proudly.
"Oh boy," Piotr groaned.
"And it's also not enough introducing new words, concepts or random short bits in my stories," Pyro went on. "I also gotta avoid writing the same old story lines and using the same old jokes, story formulas and themes. Nobody wants to keep reading the same used plot devices over and over and over again."
"COME BACK HERE YOU CHEATING CAJUN!" Sabertooth's roar thundered down the hallway.
"HAHAHAHAHA!" Remy dashed by Pyro's open doorway with his arms bulging with loot. "THE COOKIES ARE MINE! MINE! ALL MINE!"
"NOT FOR LONG YOU THIEVING BUM!" Sabertooth rushed past chasing after him. "GIVE ME SOME OF THOSE COOKIES!"
"I know what you mean," Piotr said as neither he nor Pyro were bothered by the shouting and screaming going on outside. "It is the same in art. People eventually get tired of seeing the same kind or style of pictures. So I am always looking out for new ways of doing things. Though sometimes the ideas I find seem kind of random."
"Well, randomness isn't such a bad thing," Pyro pointed out. "You just gotta make sure the final product makes sense. There's no way anyone would want to read a slew of stories that contain nothing but a bunch of pointless plot lines."
"I WANT COOKIES!" Sabertooth roared above the sounds of crashes and things breaking.
"FORGET IT!" Remy yelled back. "YOU DON'T NEED ANY MORE COOKIES! YOU'RE ALREADY TOO SLOW, ILL-TEMPERED AND FAT!"
"DIE!" More screams and sounds of destruction followed.
"I do not know," Piotr thought aloud. "Some of the best works of art appear pointless and are full of random elements. What makes them great is the artist's ability to have them naturally blend together."
"Blending is important to writers too," Pyro agreed. "Randomness and insanity can be good, but it has to be eloquent insanity. A writer must create and keep a nice, steady flow of conscious thought. Not a shonky mob of sentence fragments and capitalized onomatopoeias."
CRASH!
SMASH!
"HAHAHAHAHA!"
BOOM!
"YEEEOOOWWW!"
CRUNCH!
"AAAHHHHHH! YOU BIT ME! YOU ACTUALLY BIT ME!"
"I'LL DO MORE THAN THAT FURBALL! STAY AWAY FROM THESE COOKIES!"
BLORP!
FLOOOOOOM!
"I suppose you are right," Piotr said. "The use of such things is probably the mark of a very poor author or artist."
"You said it," Pyro huffed. "I'm always careful about using stuff like that. And when I'm working on my characterizations. There's nothing worse than showing a great and well-known individual acting completely out of character."
"KNOCK IT OFF YOU LUNATICS!" Magneto thundered in the distance. "WHAT ARE YOU CRAZY FOOLS FIGHTING ABOUT THIS TIME? YOU BETTER NOT HAVE DESTROYED MY FAVORITE CHAIR AGAIN...ARE THOSE MY COOKIES?!"
"Uh oh," Sabertooth gulped.
"RUN!" Remy shouted.
"Well, sometimes it can be okay," Piotr said as a furious Magneto chased a frantic Remy and Sabertooth past the doorway. "I once drew a picture of my mother as an energetic baton twirler even though she had no interest in being one. She and Father liked it so much they asked me to make a painting version of it."
"Okay, so there can be exceptions," Pyro allowed. "Like when you're dealing with your adoring public. Having people loyally following your stories can be both a blessing and a curse. A blessing when they give you great and ripper feedback. A curse when they start to make requests for how you do your work."
"Really?" Piotr blinked. "I have never encountered that."
"Oh yeah, it can be a real problem sometimes. Especially when you're really well-known," Pyro nodded. "And when you're getting paid to write! Pretty soon you find yourself struggling to either preserve your private code of writing or violate it and give the people what they want! Some people end up getting so upset with your final choice they'll kill you!"
"YOU FOOLS ARE GOING TO PAY FOR THIS!" Magneto roared very angrily. "I STOLE THOSE COOKIES FROM THE FINEST BAKERIES IN THE WORLD! I STOCKED ENOUGH COOKIES TO LAST FOUR MONTHS AND YOU GLUTTONS ATE THEM IN UNDER FOUR MINUTES!"
"IT'S NOT MY FAULT!" Remy yelled desperately. "I DIDN'T EVEN PLAN TO HAVE ANY COOKIES! IT WAS ALL SABES' IDEA!"
"LIAR!" Sabertooth snapped. "BOSS HE'S LYING! LYING I TELL YA...!"
CRACK!
"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"
"Wow, that is terrible," Piotr shuddered. "I hope I never end up in that kind of situation."
"Don't fret mate. Such things are pretty rare," Pyro waved Piotr's worries off. "People usually know that their suggestions are just that: suggestions. They're thrilled when you use them and accepting when you don't."
"Ah," Piotr nodded in relief.
"Besides, usually their suggestions follow right along with your private code of writing so you don't have to worry about violating your principles anyway," Pyro smiled. "Even though I get paid for every novel that ends up getting published I never forget why I write."
"Because you enjoy enriching peoples' lives, adding to the literary collection of the world and basking in all the fame the public continually endows upon you?" Piotr asked.
"Na, I just do it for the heck of it," Pyro grinned. "And because it's fun! I write out of some sort of intrinsic, primal need. For the chance to create my own little written world. For the power...the power..."
"Yes, yes. I know," Piotr cut Pyro off before he was too far gone. "I feel the same way about drawing. Not the power and need part. But because I enjoy it and find it fun."
"RUN! RUN!" Remy gasped as he and Sabertooth bolted past the doorway.
"I'M RUNNING! I'M RUNNING!" Sabertooth snapped at him.
"GET BACK HERE YOU IDIOTS!" Magneto roared chasing after them. "I'LL TAKE EVERY POUND WORTH OF COOKIES YOU STOLE OUT OF YOUR LAZY, WORTHLESS HIDES!"
CRRAAACCCKKK!
"AAAIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"But being a writer isn't all fun and games," Pyro warned ominously. "There are terrible dangers lurking out there! There are threats like the infamous writer's cramp, writer's elbow, writer's anxiety and the ultimate evil: writer's block!"
"What is writer's block?" Piotr asked.
"That's when you can't think or come up with a good or decent idea," Pyro explained. "You're completely stumped!"
"Oh, I see," Piotr nodded. "That sometimes happens to me."
"It happens to everyone. But I have a special way to beat it," Pyro grinned proudly.
"You do?" Piotr blinked. "What is it?"
"It's simple. First I identify my writer's block." Pyro set a plain, simple cube on top of his desk. "Then I smash it to pieces with my writer's mallet!" He then took out a rubber mallet and began whacking at the cube. "DIE EVIL WRITER'S BLOCK! DIE!"
"Yikes!" Piotr yelped as block pieces began flying everywhere.
"Hahahahaha!" Pyro whooped and continued to whack happily. "I keep whacking until the writer's block is all smashed and gone! Gone and smashed! Then to be sure it's gone for good, I take out my flamethrowers and..."
"Okay! Okay! I get the picture!" Piotr quickly stopped Pyro from doing so. "I have to admit that is a pretty good method."
"Yep," Pyro beamed proudly. "Works every time, guaranteed!"
"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Remy and Sabertooth ran by yet again still being chased by Magneto who now wielded a gigantic metal mallet.
"YOU INSUFFERABLE MANIACS!" Magneto thundered swing the mallet from side to side. "YOU WANT COOKIES? I'LL POUND THE BOTH OF YOU INTO ONE!"
"NOOOOOOOOO!" Remy screamed.
"THIS ISN'T FAIR! I ENDED UP EATING LESS THAN HALF OF THE COOKIES!" Sabertooth yelled. "WAIT! I DIDN'T MEAN..."
CRUNCH!
"Ohhhhhh," Sabertooth moaned.
"Aha!" Pyro gasped. "That's it! I just got an idea! I told ya smashing writer's block to pieces worked!" Pyro grabbed a piece of paper and quickly scribbled something down.
"What is it?" Piotr asked. "What is your idea?"
"It's the ending to my latest story!" Pyro cackled scribbling like mad. "It means I'll have to change some stuff I already wrote, but it'll work!"
"You can do that?" Piotr asked, impressed.
"Sure. It's writer's prerogative," Pyro finished writing with a flourish. "Yes! My story is finally all planned out! Now all I have to do it finish it!"
"YOU SLOBS ARE FINISHED! FINISHED YOU HEAR ME?" Magneto shouted.
"YAHHHHHH!" Remy and Sabertooth screamed. "HELP! NO NOT THE FLECHETTES! NOT THE FLECHETTES! AAAGGGHHHHHHHHH!"
"That can sometimes be difficult," Piotr said. "Sometimes I will have a great idea about a drawing I would like to do, but then have trouble actually carrying it out, even with a plan."
"Me too," Pyro admitted. "But I go ahead and write stuff down anyway, even if I think it's bad. That's the most important part: getting stuff down. Revising comes later."
"I know," Piotr said. "Though creating new things is easier when you have a source of inspiration."
"Like all the fun stuff that goes on around here," Pyro grinned. "If that doesn't inspire you, I don't know what will!"
"AAAHHHHHH! MY KIDNEYS! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW!" Remy and Sabertooth wailed.
"I WANT MY COOKIES!" Magneto yelled.
"Hey, do ya think stories about our lives will ever pop up anywhere?" Pyro asked. "Not the fictionalized stuff we use in our comic strips or the edited stories I post online, but the real events that go on in the daily lives of us Acolytes?"
"I do not think so," Piotr brushed the idea aside. "After all, who in their right mind would ever want to write or read stories about us?"
Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men: Evolution.