Title: I've Been Here For The Show
Rating: T
Characters: Nick Warbler, Sebastian Smythe, OCs
Summary: Nick has an audition for a community theatre production of "next to normal" but when he sings one of the songs, he finds himself only able to think about Sebastian and makes a decision about how to deal with the rough time they're having. Nickbastian. Warnings inside. Part of my Second Chance verse.
Warnings: Mentions of self-harm, nothing too drastic though
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or next to normal, I'm not cool enough :(
I've Been Here For The Show
The last few months had been harsh on Nick and Sebastian. Moving up to Chicago had been one thing but Sebastian's near constant relapses and almost getting kicked out of college had made it all worse. There were still days where things were good but they were only days. Nick felt alone and had no one to talk to out here.
Nick was on his way to an audition. One of the community theatres was putting on "next to normal" and he was pining for a role. It was a hot day though and he'd tricked himself into wearing a t-shirt. Even though his scars were minor compared to Sebastian's, the one on his elbow still stood in stark contrast to the rest of his skin. He was regretting the decision now though.
The theatre was a comforting atmosphere though. People were buzzing around and yelling across the space. Nick took a deep breath before he approached the bored-looking girl at the registration table.
"Hi, my name's Nick Duval, I'm auditioning for "next to normal" today."
"Which parts?" she asked, straightening slightly as she grabbed a pen.
"Uh, Henry and Gabe."
"Okay, we're only doing singing this morning so if you have any plans for this afternoon, see what you can do to change them. You're number thirty-two; you have twenty minutes to get ready. Good luck," she smiled for the first time since he arrived as he handed her his number before he headed down towards the stage, slipping into a row of seats and sitting down beside a young blonde girl.
"Hey, I'm Tara," she said, extending her hand.
"I'm Nick," he replied with a slight smile. "Auditioning for Natalie?"
"Yeah, what about you?"
"Henry and Gabe."
"Lucky you, crazy or invisible," Tara laughed. "I haven't seen you around, you just move here?"
"Yeah, my boyfriend and I just moved here from Ohio for college."
He saw the disappointment in her eyes at the realisation that he was gay but it didn't stop her.
"Well, welcome to the Windy City. And good luck with your audition, I need to go get some air, before show rituals, y'know?"
"Yeah, that's fine, see ya later. Good luck," Nick said with a smile before she headed off and he bowed his head for his own pre-show ritual. Calm down and breathe.
When someone called his name, he jerked his head up and got to his feet. He shuffled into the aisle and jogged down to the stage, carefully walking up the steps and turning to the director and producers who sat a few rows into the auditorium.
"Nick Duval, auditioning for Gabe and Nick?" the director asked, reading off a sheet in front of him. He looked your typical director – dark clothes, bad haircut, glasses at the end of his nose.
"Yes."
"Great, and you've had lots of experience singing?"
"Yeah, three years on my high school's a capella choir and I did a few shows with the community theatre back home."
"And where's home?"
"Westerville, Ohio."
The director nodded before he turned back to the potential actors milling around behind him. "Have we got a Tara Deans yet?"
A door slammed somewhere and the sound of running feet before the blonde girl appeared at the edge of the stage, bobbing up the stairs and skidding to a halt beside Nick.
"Sorry! Sorry! I'm here!"
"Okay. Tara Deans auditioning for Tara?"
"That's me."
"And you've played this role before?"
"My school put it on."
"And you've been singing since you were eight years old?"
"Yes, my teacher's credentials and contacts were listed in my résumé."
"Okay well, we'll get you done with, I wanna hear a couple of songs from Nick. "Hey #3 / Perfect for You," please."
A stagehand thrust sheet music into their hands and the band readied themselves as Nick and Tara found their starting point.
NICK
Hey
TARA
Hey
NICK
You look like a star
A vision in blue
TARA
Oh I do?
NICK
And you are
Hey, you came
TARA
Well I said that I might
NICK
I thought we were through
Me and you
TARA
Not tonight
NICK
Will you mom be ok?
TARA
Well she might be some day.
NICK
But for now it's all fine?
TARA
She's still on my mind.
NICK
Can you leave it behind?
TARA
Hey, hey
NICK
Stay, let's see this thing through
TARA
Am I crazy?
I might end up crazy
NICK
I'll be here for you
TARA
You say that right here
But then give it a year
Or 10 years or a life
And I could end up your wife
Sitting staring at walls
Throwing shit down the stairs
Freaking out at the store
Running nude down the street
Bleeding out in the bath
NICK
Perfect for you
I will be perfect for you
So you could go crazy
Or I could go crazy, it's true
Sometimes life isn't sane
But crazy I know I can do
Cause crazy is perfect
And fucked up is perfect
So I will be perfect
TARA
Perfect
BOTH
Perfect for you
The director and producers applauded briefly before the director leaned forward.
"Okay that was good – could I get you two to sing "I've Been"?"
"Uh, sure," Nick answered. "Singing Dan's part?"
"Yes please."
Another set of sheet music was traded for the first one and Tara disappeared, sending him a hopeful smile before the band kicked in and Nick found himself auditioning for a role he had never considered.
Standing in this room,
Well I wonder what comes now.
I know I have to help her,
But hell if I know how.
And all the times that I've been told
The way her illness goes.
The truth of it is no one really knows.
And every day this act we act gets more and more absurd.
And all my fears just sit inside me, screaming to be heard.
I know they won't, though, not a single word.
I was here at her side
When she called, when she cried.
How could she leave me on my own?
Will it work, this cure?
There's no way to be sure.
But I'm weary to the bone
And whenever she goes flying
I keep my feet right on the ground.
Oh now I need a lift
And there's no one around.
Hey!
Ohhh
Ahhh oooh
No
And I've never had to face the world without her at my side.
Now I'm strolling right beside her as the black hole opens wide.
Mine is just a slower suicide.
I've been here for the show,
Every high, every low.
But it's the worst we've ever known.
She's been hurt and how?
But I can't give up now.
'Cause I've never been alone.
I could never be alone.
The last notes hung in the air and applause met Nick's ears but all he could think about was Sebastian. The director had stood up behind the table and was talking but Nick couldn't hear him. He shook his head.
"I-I'm sorry… Thank you so much for this opportunity and your time but I need to go."
"Is everything okay?" He could hear the puzzlement in the man's voice.
"Yeah, yeah, I just need to make sure about a boy," Nick said quickly before he ran to grab his things, said a quick goodbye to Tara and ran back outside. His shoes slapped against the pavement as he headed the few blocks back to he and Sebastian's apartment and he bounded up the stairs. Inside the apartment, Sebastian was lying on the couch watching a football game and typing on his laptop but he looked up when Nick came in.
"Hey, I thought the audition would have taken longer."
"I gave it - up," Nick gasped, leaning over as he tried to catch his breath. His backpack had already dropped to the floor by the door. He took one more deep breath before he moved to kneel beside Sebastian. "I was singing one of the other songs, for Dan, and I had this – revelation."
"Really?" Sebastian laughed, sitting up and leaning towards Nick.
"One of the last lines, is about how he can't give up on his wife," Nick cradled Sebastian's cheek in his hand. "We've had a horrible time up here… But I won't give up on you, now. I've been here too long to give up on you now."
"Nick, you don't have to tell-"
"Yes I do, because you need to know, because I love you," Nick smoothed his thumb over his cheekbone. "I will do whatever you need me to do to get better, Sebastian. If I have to skip classes because you need to talk, I'll do it. You need me to take you to the hospital because you relapsed, I'll do it. You admit yourself to a psych ward and want me to visit you every day, I'll do it. Anything you need to get better, I'll do it."
"Why?" Sebastian asked, shaking his head in confusion.
"Because I love you and you love me and we're not going to lose each other," Nick leaned up to kiss his boyfriend. "We're in this together."
"Thank you," Sebastian whispered as he pulled Nick into the tightest hug he'd given in a long time.
A/N: This was a little different to how I'd envisioned it but I like it, I hope you do too. I'm going to move into their time at college because there's only so much you can do to a guy in one year at high school and we don't want to turn Seb into a permanent quivering mess (or maybe you do, depends how much you like angst). There is a bit more angst coming up, and fluff as well, because we all need fluff sometimes. But thanks for reading and I hope you're having a groovy day :) Frank xoxo