Speak to me, friend.
Whisper, I'll listen.
-My Friends; Stephen Sondheim
What am I to you?
To me you are my rival, the one person who I want to acknowledge me most. Coming from you the acknowledgement would be so much sweeter. I'd feel so much more accomplished. I've been competing with you as long as I can remember. Even if you weren't aware of it, it was always a competition for me. I was always striving to be better than you. Stronger, faster, smarter.
But you were always better than me. And you didn't even have to try. I hated you for that. I hated you so much that when we were put on the same team I would almost rather never become Hokage if I could have a different team. Almost.
And then we were only teammates, nothing more and our teamwork was nonexistent. I hated putting up with you everyday. Your smug bastardly attitude, and your obnoxious smirk and Sakura swooning over you like you were the best thing since ramen. But I have to thank you now. If not for you, I wouldn't be as strong as I am now.
So for that I suppose you're my friend. Because every competition, every stupid argument was an admission of acknowledgement from you. And acknowledgement from you always meant more than acknowledgement from anybody else. So I hate it that I can't do anything for you, even though you've done so much for me. Granted it was done unknowingly, but that didn't lessen how happy it made me.
That's why I'm particularly stubborn when it comes to you. When people tell me to give up, when you tell me to give up. I won't let that dishearten me. Because you're my rival, my teammate, my best friend.
What am I to you?
To me you're my rival, mostly because that's the way things played out. You're the one person who didn't kiss the ground I walked on or praise accomplishments that really weren't great. And then when you started becoming stronger I realized how far I was falling behind. You were more my rival then than at any other time. So I accepted your challenges and your competitions. You were always becoming stronger, faster, smarter.
I was falling so far behind. You were improving so much; no matter how much effort I put in you were always right behind me with some amazing new jutsu or accomplishment. I hated you for that. I hated you so much than when the chance came for me to become strong beyond the walls of Konoha I jumped at it.
I couldn't stand being your teammate, even though there was nothing beyond that. I hated the close proximity we were forced to have because then it was impossible to ignore how much you were improving. But I suppose I should thank you as much as I don't want to. If not for you I never would have realized how weak I was restrained in Konoha.
But I never wanted to be your friend. Because every competition, every argument only served to open my eyes to how weak I was. That's why I left. When we were younger our constant competitions served to make both of us stronger, but there was always a limit to that. When we met that limit I knew I had to leave if I ever was going to kill him. Kill Itachi. That's why I couldn't let you take me back to Konoha even though it meant hurting you. But I was never happy about or proud of that.
That's why, when it comes to you, I want to forget more than anything. When you chase after me, when you lecture me about our bonds. I won't let you blind me again. Because you're my rival, my teammate, and somehow my best friend.