I started this after reading a prompt from live journal's mmmondaymadness page. I am pretty sure there is more to come.

Matthew was haunted. His slow and careful gait was even more measured than usual as he made his way up to the great house. The sun penetrated his black suit but he took no mind of the heat. The lawn, although as neatly trimmed as usual, seemed different- it all seemed different. It was his responsibility now; the gardens, the house, all of it.

As he entered the quiet house he hoped the grim details had all been settled. He had been plagued all night with the idea that Lavina's death was somehow his fault and to wake today with the Earldom on his shoulders, he wished she was there to stand beside him.

Matthew leaned heavily on his stick as he watched the servants take some decorations down from the staircase.

"They were for the wedding, Lord Grantham."

At first Matthew didn't realize that Thomas was speaking to him, 'Lord Grantham' had always been Robert, never him. He nodded vaguely as Thomas mentioned the graspers and quietly gave agreement on the arrangements of their funerals, Lavina's to be on Monday and Robert's to be the following day.

Monday, he thought bitterly, he was supposed to be on his honeymoon on Monday, not attending the funerals of both his fiancée and preparing for his cousin's.

The bustle of a ladies dress was heard behind and Matthew was surprised to see Violet making her way up the hall towards him.

"I am so sorry dear, about Lavinia, she was a sweet girl."

"Thank you, Cousin Violet, but how are you doing? I am surprised to see you here this morning."

"Don't worry about me, I'm a tough one. Of course one never expects to outlive their children but at this rate I may outlive all my family. No, it's Cora I am here to see. With her romantic, American nature there's no telling how she'll take this." She looked ready to head up the stairs before saying "I do think Mary was looking for you."

"No," Matthew didn't want to face her. Together they had broken Lavinia's heart and forced her to give up. They had killed her and no matter how broken up she was about her father's passing, or how hurt he was, he just couldn't turn to her for comfort. "I mean I don't really want to see anyone, not just yet. Just tell me what you want me to do and I'll do it."

"Well, it seems things are settled enough here, you can go." Violet dismissed him as she turned to make her way up the stairs.

Matthew walked slowly back to Crawley house. If it weren't for his aching legs, still weak from months of unuse, he would have kept walking. He longed for a quiet moment to think. As he entered his home the presence of his mother told him that wasn't going to be given him. She caught him as he walked in.

"You're back sooner than I expected. Did you see anyone? How are they are all getting on?"

"I only saw cousin Violet, but it seems they are doing fine there. Thomas seems to have everything under control, for the funerals and everything."

"That's nice of him to help, but it isn't really his job is it?"

"I suppose not, but really mother, I must sit down." As he walked away he hoped this would give reason for his mother to leave him alone, but he should have known otherwise.

"Yes, of course," Isobel followed him into the sitting room, "but isn't it your job to sort those things out now?"

Matthew didn't respond, except for a quiet curse under his breath, but undaunted Isobel continued, "I know you are hurting, maybe more than the rest of us understand because you lost not only Robert but Lavinia as well, but whether you like it or not you are now the Earl and you have a responsibility to that family."

Matthew didn't respond but his mothers words rang in his ears. He wasn't trying to shirk his responsibilities, but he honestly had no idea what he was supposed to do. He was not prepared to be the Earl; he had always assumed Robert would run Downton for years to come. It felt like losing his father all over again; it was unexpected and he was unprepared. It felt like the loss of his father in other ways too; his confidant, his guide, was gone. Even with his mother across the room Matthew suddenly felt very alone and despite her presence he began to cry.

Also, just found out that they wouldn't address him as Lord Grantham until after Robert's funeral, so I'm sorry I have that wrong.