"You want to know how I got these scars?" Joker asked, smiling almost gently at the boy and girl in front of him.
"Which story is it this time?" Harry (Prank) Potter and Trixabeth (Trix) Quinzel asked their dad.
"The true one," Joker sighed almost frowning a little, "the one that leads to your names and Prank living here though he was not Harley's born son."
"Yay!" the two young Jokers chorused.
Joker smiled his best maniacal smile at his two prized children. "Then I will begin. It all started when my twin brother and I were eight years old.
Our parents had decided that before anyone learned of the two Potter heirs, they would find out who was most magical, because we were twins and not even the healer could tell who was born first we were so alike, and they were to pick who would inherit the title of Lord Potter-Gryffindor. After all they must have the strongest heir possible.
When they gave us the test for magical power, a strange expression crossed their faces when they saw my results. Then, my father got a horrible look on his face, and he hissed at us 'how could we have not told sooner that you' he pointed a finger at me with a VERY angry expression on his face 'had no magic at all!'"
Joker took a breath the fear still visible on his face even now so many years later. "He was very angry at me and he scared me, I told him I didn't know, he didn't like that answer. He sent James out of the room and my mother and father turned toward me. Their faces were contorted with rage. 'Why so sad? You always liked causing trouble; you probably did this on purpose!'
I did not know how I could have done that on purpose of course because you can't.
My mother grabbed a knife and came at me shrieking 'you owe us a smile for being such a disappointment!' and she hacked my cheeks open. There was so much blood. It hurt so much; she practically tore my face apart. She and my father sent me out of the house and by the time I had lost enough blood to pass out I was found by a man who managed to keep me alive until an ambulance got there. When I was discharged from the hospital I had learned enough about the Muggle world that I could survive here.
I burned the false birth certificate they gave me, and got a new one, with a new name, in each new city. I learned martial arts of every different kind, made sure I was well trained, I wasn't a full squib, and I later grew enough magic that I have great reflexes. I finally came to Gotham fell into that vat of acid, and I made a name for myself. I was hardly sixteen during my first stay in Arkham. They thought I was twenty. I lived the way I usually do for a while until I ran into the first councilor to ever, ever, ask for me personally. This woman thought she could fix me, I refused to be fixed. We fell in love during our sessions, when I broke out she came with me as Harley Quinn.
We disappeared to England for a while because of my parent's death I contacted my brother and met with him. He was unhappy because of the acid thing turning my hair green, and skin white. But he had found love as well. A young woman he called his Lily-flower. We got married in a private double wedding and he provided tickets and glamour for me and Harley to attend his 'show' wedding. Three weeks after the weddings, we had gone home and Harley and Lily were both pregnant…"
"With us!" Trixie sighed.
"Yes, with you. James contacted me with the news that I should always keep my one cell-phone charged and ready in case of emergency. I wondered why but not for long. He called me just as you," Joker brushed Trixie's fingers, "were born to tell of his son who was also just born. Exactly at the same moment, the way that he and I were born. A year and a bit later, I received a call on that same phone. A call from my sister-in-law Petunia saying that... that Harley had to become Harry's mom, because Lily and James had been murdered, and I was the only one who was remotely capable of taking care of a baby of that age, who was also related. I stole you from her house in the dead of night, and she never remembered that you were there.
The children clapped politely, and then they asked the question that they asked every night; "when can we join you and mom on a job?"
Joker laughed again but softly, he pulled the covers over his children and whispered in their ears "Tomorrow, I have your costumes ready as well, the one's you wanted, Batsy has that Robin kid now and I need extra backup,"
"Goodnight," the children chorused to him and he giggled, Debut tomorrow, kids are happy and I get to introduce batman to the twin Joker Jr.'s.
Life was good-ish