Hey Guys! Sorry it has been so long. The recent shocking news has made me realise that one place that we do not have to give up hope in is fan fiction. So here it is, me carrying on despite everything. This will be a multi-fic if anyone does want me to continue. So Please Read and let me know your opinion!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. wahhhhh

Spoilers- None, AU

Ziva paced back and forth, anxiously gnawing at her bottom lip. Her hands were frequently running through her curls, trying to push back the stray curls which fell across her face. She was still clad in her (well technically Tony's) white cotton shirt, which had become her night clothes ever since they had started dating. Her bare feet softly brushing against the floor boards as she continued to pace; beads of sweat building up on her forehead as her worry grew. She could hear Tony's soft snores coming from their bedroom and if this had been any other day she would still be out on her run, just like every other morning. But she had acknowledged enough of this situation to know, that normality was a distant thought.

Her eyes flickered yet again to the small object that she held in a vice grip, absurdly having conjured up the idea that dropping it may wake Tony. Fear is not an emotion that the ex-assassin likes to display or feel. She was strong, powerful, the sharp-end of the spear; she had taken down terrorists, disarmed bombs and told Tony she loved him- but this, this was beyond her. She herself could not believe that the tiny little pink cross had her rendered catatonic.

How could this happen? To her? To them? Just has everything for the first time in her life was going perfect, something just had to break the balance. They were in a brilliant place: their work had not been affected; Gibbs had actually smiled when they broke the news of their relationship and they had just decided to rent a bigger apartment. Yes they fought and lost their temper, but no matter what happened they would always work things out- suddenly Ziva was not so sure of that anymore. They weren't ready for this. They were still themselves; she was former assassin how could she be a mother to a child? No hands that killed can raise a new one. And Tony, of course he had matured and had shed his fraternity skin, but how could she just topple his life upside down? Parents? They had, on more than one occasion, forgotten about the cooking on the stove and had been preoccupied with other recreational activities, accidently setting the stove alight. How could they be parents to a child?

Ziva groaned in frustration, clamping her hands over her mouth as she glanced over at Tony who thankfully was still sleeping, she could let him see her in what was most likely what the teenagers call a 'major breakdown.' Ziva continued to nibble as she thought of how she could tell Tony. Oh yeah Tony here is your breakfast and the paper, oh and I am having your child. Ziva stopped pacing as she heard the mattress springs creak and the all too familiar sounds of Tony standing up. She quickly hurled the stick in her hand, into the nearest vase of flowers and stood by the flowers, pretending to rearrange the flowers.

"Hey Ziva, I thought you were on your run." Tony smiled at her, his expression furrowing into confusion.

"Erm… Zi, why are you waving your hands in mid-air?" Ziva looked down and realised in horror that the vase was empty. She stopped her hands and forced a smile at her smirking boyfriend.

"Good morning Tony, I was just exercising my hands… and the flower pot… happened to be there." She stuttered, cringing at how absolutely ridiculous that sounded. Tony raised an eyebrow at her blatant lie, but was cut off just as he opened to retort.

"I have to go make breakfast, go shower" With that Ziva hastily paced forward, quickly pressing her lips to Tony's incredulous expression and brushed past into the kitchen.

Shaking his head, Tony disappeared into the bathroom, determined to get to the bottom of Ziva's strange behaviour. Ziva let out the breath that she had not realised she had been holding. Her hands fumbled around as she attempted to make pancakes. She had to tell him, he had the right to know. The thought left her dizzy and she had to grip the side of the counter for support.

Tony sighed as he unscrewed the toothpaste lid, trying to make sense of everything, when something peculiar caught his eye from the trashcan. Tony gingerly lifted the package up and read the bold printing: Easy-use Home Pregnancy Kit.