Title: The Talk

Author: EllipsesBandit...

Disclaimer: I couldn't make this crap up

Pairings: Jan/Retsu

Summary: Gou is sick of living in awkward and decides to confront Retsu about his life choices.

A/N: Hello all! Been a while since I posted... anything, but the Gekimuse wouldn't let my brain sleep. Hope everyone enjoys.

Gou walked down the hall. He was going to have to have this talk sooner or later, and the more time he spent around Jan, the more uncomfortable he became. Couldn't Retsu make anything easy? Couldn't he have picked a nice girl to settle down with? What was wrong with that Ran chick? But no, he had to take after his brother in every way possible, including an inability to form a nice, uncomplicated relationship. And while Gou couldn't fairly criticize Retsu dating a guy, he could damn well question his choice of an apparent retard.

Gou was preparing to knock on the doorframe to the arts studio when he heard his brother's voice addressing him. "Nii-san, I'm not eight any more and I'm perfectly capable of…" Retsu trailed off. Gou glanced through the half-open door to see his brother standing in front of a blotched canvas, talking to it while he smudged bits of red into indefinite shapes.

He started again,

"Nii-san, I understand that Jan seems a little impulsive, but he's just got a lot of energy since he's not used to being indoors so…" Another stab with the brush.

"You see, Nii-san, he was raised by tigers--"

That did it. "He was raised by tigers?"

Retsu jumped, turned around and stared wide-eyed at him for a moment. Realizing he'd lost whatever high ground he'd hoped to attack Gou from, the younger Fukami squared his shoulders, lifted his chin, and answered with a stalwart, "Yes."

Gou shook his head. "And you really expect me to just accept this?"

"I'd like you too. But no, I don't expect it."

"He's a freak, Retsu. Not just kind of odd, but a genuine mental case. I don't understand ninety percent of what he says, he jumps on my shoulders every time he's in the room, and I'm not sure you appreciate my restraint in not punching the kid every time he grabs your ass, which I've lost count of."

"We're working on that," Retsu jumped in. "Jan just has low impulse control on account of…"

"The tigers, yeah. Got that."

Retsu exhaled sharply through his nose. He did that when he was six and Gou wouldn't let him leave the church by himself too. "I understand it sounds about as ridiculous as turning into a werewolf."

"Don't even start with that!" Gou fumed, stomping inside the room. "It's completely different than having all the social skills of an untrained monkey."

"Just give him a chance, Nii-san! I won't ask you to do more than that."

Gou stepped close enough to tower over GekiBlue, preparing to beat his case into Retsu's head if necessary, when an ear-splitting cry of "Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetsu!" rang down the hall. Great.

Jan skidded a good four feet past the studio door, then bounced back shouting, "Gou Nii-san!" and leaping for a hug which Gou was thankfully getting much better at dodging. GekiRed only succeeded in latching onto one arm instead of pinning both. He released it upon spotting Retsu, though, his train of thought realigning as he leapt from one Fukami brother to the other.

"Retsu. Save me!"

Retsu blinked at his newly acquired hip growth, turning a little red in front of his brother. "What is it Jan?"

Jan's upper lip stuck out as he lifted the right sleeve of his jacket, which now featured a slit up to the elbow. "Miki said if I ripped it again she was going to staple it to my arm!"

"Jan, you know you're not supposed to wear this if you're going to climb trees."

"I know! That's why I took it off but I didn't want to lose it so I tried to carry it and then this branch broke and it got caught and…" Jan trailed off, distracted for the moment by the canvas. Gou wasn't surprised. All those colors must have been murder on the kid's attention span.

"Mou, Retsu, your painting's all… sakasaka."

"It is?" Retsu turned to glance at the painting, as if he actually understood what the hell Jan was talking about. Gou didn't no much about tigers, but he was pretty sure they didn't use weird onomatopoeia to communicate.

Jan hopped down from Retsu's side, bounding to the painting, and quickly flipping it upside down, leaving a couple thumbprints along the border. He posed proudly, hands on his hips as he announced, "There!"

Gou wasn't one for art. He'd encouraged Retsu because it kept him out of trouble and indoors when they were kids, but he didn't understand much of the stuff himself, particularly when Retsu got all abstract. But when Jan turned the painting around… it worked. It didn't look like just a few blotches of red and orange streaks anymore. There was… movement to it. Like flames in a river, which didn't make sense but which was what came into Gou's mind anyway.

For his part, Retsu looked similarly impressed. "Thank you, Jan," he said automatically, still blinking a bit in surprise.

Jan beamed before bounding back in front of Retsu, waving the torn sleeve in front of him. "I helped you, right? So you'll save me? Please?!"

Retsu attempted to look put upon. "I'll see what I can do."

Neither Fukami was prepared for Jan to fling his arm's around Retsu and pounce on lips in a kiss of overwhelming gratitude. "Retsu is sugoi!" Jan announced, before stripping himself of the jacket. "I'll get us lunch! Miki no Ko is here! She can make stew! For Gou Nii-san too!" And he disappeared out of the room in a whirlwind.

Retsu picked up the jacket and dared his brother to say a single word. Gou needed a moment for the mix of awkwardness/anger/confusion to dissipate before he remembered how to use words. And when they did, all he could ask was, "You're going to sew for him?"

Retsu shrugged. "Miki-san doesn't joke very often, and she has a very big stapler."

Gou ran a hand through his hair, pointed a finger at Retsu, realized he had absolutely no comeback, turned around, figured out something to say and re-pointed his finger at Retsu, announcing, "I still think he's an idiot."

Seeing his trademarked victorious smirk blatantly imitated on his younger brother's face was probably one of the most annoying parts of being an older sibling. Gou shook his head as he stormed back out of the room. The idiot had promised food and Gou damn well earned a meal for putting up with this crap.