A/N: These are a series of satirical pieces. i.e. it's a joking one! Enjoy!

The Tale of Shia LePuff and Markipenis

Markiplier sat erotically, twirling his "pinker than a lubed-up anus" pink Warfstache as he looked on at the sensual sight before him. A traditional birthday treat- his lovely lover would do an exotic dance for him. Wearing only a snazzy dotty bow tie and a giant paper-mache head, Shia tossed his head back, throwing his stump leg up on a nearby chair, doing that thing you do with a feather boa around his shoulders.

"Do you like what you see, birthday boy?" Unable to control his homoerotic urges, Markiplier bit his lip and tugged the feather boa, pulling Shia towards him. "Mmm, I'll take that as a yes!" He straddled Marki, like a child would Santa. Their peni touched, already stiff and aching. Their sweaty chests slammed together. Markiplier groaned from the carpet burn from Shia's chest pubes, digging his nails into his "bear" back. Shia grabbed Marki's face desperately, mashing skin and paper together in the throes of passion. Shia bounced in his lap, peni touching as though engaging in a lightsaber battle.

But it wasn't enough.

"I want more!" Commanded Markiplier. "I NEED more!"

So Marki guided Shia to the red silk bed like a master to his dog, and relished in the cool touch of the silk bedsheets.

"Be my cannibal, Shia. Be my actual cannibal!"

"Yes master," he groaned.

So Shia flopped down the conveniently placed panel on his mask, and gorged himself on Markiplier's extravagant hot-pink excalibur of glory (holes), as long as the Corpse Party series and as wide as an Xbox game disc. Shia bobbed his head like a pigeon, eagerly licking and sucking away like a little whore. This went on for many strokes until Markiplier suddenly became short of breath, grimacing, shuddering and yelling: "Shia, SURPRISE!" He came.

But it still wasn't enough.

Markiplier ordered his lover onto all fours, kneeling behind him sexilly. Once lubed-up, he clumsily thrusted against the anus hole. What a tease. Shia thought so too, groaning out of frustration as he fisted the bedsheets and screamed: "JUST DO IT!"

So Markiplier complied, and the sexy beast fucked him in a beautiful way we all wish to be fucked by him.

It was hot (pink).

All in all, just an average night for Shia LeBeouf.

The End.