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Sara was having one hell of a fucked up week. She'd just come back to work after her suspension. It was good to be back after a week of sitting at home doing nothing, Telling off Ecklie had been worth it though. She'd been working a missing persons case with Grissom, Sofia, and Brass, it had turned into a murder investigation.
On the third day when she'd turned the corner leading to the break room and seen Grissom sitting next to Sofia it had felt like someone had kicked her in the gut. They had their heads together, laughing. Sara had thought maybe she and Grissom had turned a corner last week when he'd spent hours at her apartment talking about her past. He'd held her hand while she'd cried, for fuck sake. He'd even squeezed out a few tears himself. He'd kissed her forehead when he'd finally left. She guessed she'd been wrong.
The next day when she was in the locker room getting ready for shift she'd overheard Hodges and Henry talking in the corridor about how Grissom had taken Sofia out for dinner that night before shift. Sara felt a little lightheaded and confused at first, then nausea grabbed her by the gut. She ran into the ladies room and knelt in front of a toilet, breathing shallowly, hands trembling. When she felt the desire to vomit ease she got up and sat on the edge of the toilet. Her eyes darting around unseeing, stomach churning, heart fluttering like a trapped bird. Jesus God, it felt like the life she'd spent the better part of the last decade building was falling like a house of cards.
"Fuck!"
Sara went back to her locker, grabbed her bag and left the building. When she got to her car she pulled out her cell phone and sent a text message to Grissom that she would be out sick for the night. Sara sat in her car shaking for a half an hour before she could put the key in the ignition and drive back to her apartment.
Her fucking empty apartment. She pulled the tequila bottle out from the cupboard over the refrigerator. It was going to take a fuck of a lot more than beer to drown this sorrow.
Standing at the kitchen counter she slammed a shot. Fucking Jesus, the bastard couldn't risk his fucking job for her, but he's taking that blond bitch out after just a few months.
"Jesus Christ!"
The second shot didn't burn as much. The desire to smash her fist into the wall was starting to fade behind the thoughts of packing a bag and leaving. Surely life wouldn't be this painful someplace else. Anyplace else. If she didn't have to see him every day maybe her heart wouldn't feel like it was being ripped apart.
The knock at the door came as she slammed the third shot. "Fucking great. Probably a Seventh Day Adventist who wants to save my sorry ass." she muttered to herself as she poured a forth shot and went to fling open the door.
"Grissom… what the fuck do you want?"
Grissom's eyebrows shot up to meet his hairline as he took in the full shot glass in Sara's hand. He frowned as he noticed her red eyes and nose and tear stained face. "Sara, are you alright? Jacqui said she saw you run into the ladies room looking quite ill." He reached out his hand to touch Sara's arm but she jerked away from him like his touch would burn her.
"What do you care Grissom. I'm not worth the trouble am I?" Sara downed her forth shot and retreated into her kitchenette to find the bottle. "I heard you talking to Vincent Lurie that day, you know. You told him it wasn't worth risking everything you'd worked for to have me."
Sara froze when she felt Grissom behind her, his hands on her arms. "Honey, that wasn't what I meant. That wasn't what I said."
Sara jerked away, "I heard you, for fuck sake. Grissom, I was right there on the other side of the glass." She poured a fifth shot and tossed it back. "You can't give me some song and dance to placate me with this time." Sara slammed the shot glass down on the counter and spun around to glare at him accusingly. " I know about Sofia."
"Sara, honey, I don't know what you're talking about." His thumbs were rubbing nervously against the forefingers of both his hands. He glanced behind her to judge how empty the bottle of tequila was. He looked back at Sara's tear stained face,"Please tell me what's wrong."
"You took Sofia out for dinner tonight before shift, didn't you?" Sara spat the words out like they were a mouthful of rotten meat. "Did you think I wouldn't hear about it? Or didn't you care that it would hurt me?" She closed her eyes and shook her head, "Fuck Grissom just get out. I've had enough of your bullshit." Sara stepped past him and stood waiting at her front door.
Grissom followed her to the door and closed it. "Sara, please sit down and let me talk to you." He reached out to take her elbow and steer her towards the couch but she pushed him away and stalked to the other side of her living room.
"Grissom, I just can't take any more of this shit, alright? You've finally won, I'm broken. I'll leave. I'll turn in my resignation tomorrow." Sara hadn't felt this beaten down since she was still at home, taking the occasional smack from her parents. Her hands were starting to tremble again.
Grissom was across the room in two long strides. He grabbed Sara by the shoulders and gave her a little shake. "Honey, you've got it all wrong. Sofia is nothing to me. She was thinking of quitting so we went to dinner to talk about it. Honey? Do you understand me?" He peered into her eyes to see if there was any spark of understanding. "Honey, why don't you sit down and let me make you some coffee and toast. Okay? We need to talk, but you need something to eat first. Do you remember how much you had to drink?"
Grissom led Sara to the couch before stepping into the kitchenette to start a pot of coffee. He opened the refrigerator and looked to see what kind of food Sara had on hand. "Will you eat some scrambled eggs, honey?" Grissom turned to see Sara laying on the couch asleep. He walked to her side and reached down to softly caress her cheek. When she didn't stir Grissom picked her up and carried her to her bedroom. He laid her gently on her bed and removed her shoes and carefully slipped off her jeans. After maneuvering her under the covers Grissom went back to the kitchenette to write her a note.
TBC
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