Sorry this story is a bit delayed, some things happened that I can't help and there were a ton of projects that us kiddos had ; - ; but here it is, nearly a month late...
...ESTONISHAQ HALLOWEEN SPECIAL!
So enjoy!
-AUTHOR'S NOTE-
Sorry if the ending seems a little bit rushed, I knew I had to get this out. This was more (time-wise) appropriate for a 'Thanksgiving special', but I don't have time to write a Thanksgiving special because I mean…you saw what happened with this one. It's about a month late, it's not that impressive, and yet I still have an oddly positive feeling about this one. So hopefully you guys enjoy this, but that's alright if you think it sucks. I am cramming in writing this between a biology and English project with cover letters and essays and thesis statements, so it's nice to catch a break when writing. And I don't know why I still do this because nobody probably even looks forward/reads these, but I do it anyways. So yeeeeee and I can't wait to put the next few things out for the few of you/any of you that read these! Have a good day m8s whenever this day is that you are reading this! And see you in the next Estonishaq story!
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Estonia woke up and hit the top of his alarm clock, which was of course shaped like Shaquille O'Neal's head. He had invested, naturally, in the voice-recording version of the alarm clock and would always find a recording of Shaq's godly voice and insert his name in the recording by cutting the audio in and out quite cringely to make it seem as if Shaq was saying 'Edvard'.
Estonia rolled over in his bed and smiled a large, Estonian-worthy smile. He felt a latte forming and then got even more pleased. Estonia had begun to chuckle slightly and was making a large, Shaq-worthy latte when Lithuania walked in.
"E-Edvard! What the hell?" Lithuania said and shielded his eyes.
Estonia coyly sat up and grabbed a cucumber off his nightstand and handed it to poor Lithuania, who was still cowering after witnessing Estonia's terrifying antics once again.
"H-here you go…" Estonia said in a quite spooky, cringey tone of voice, "H-his name is Casper…take him…take good care of him…"
Lithuania dropped 'Casper' and backed away.
"Okay, Estonia, I didn't even want to talk to you anyways, but even though I know you'll find a way to abuse this situation, we all voted in that last meeting that you 'had a strange, sexy black man in your closet' during, and we we discussed it in the meeting before that when you 'had an important interview with an even more important interviewee', but the nations are trying to make everyone let it loose a little bit and so they're throwing a Halloween party. And we've decided that we should at least make you aware of it, but Finland and Liechtenstein and Canada all decided that even though you've been a creep in the past doesn't mean you're guaranteed to mess up this party."
Estonia's face brightened up as he heard the Shaqtastic news.
"W-wow," Estonia said as he creepily licked his lips. "A-a Halloween joust! How…spooky…"
Lithuania rolled his eyes, done with Estonia's bullshit.
"Yeah, but there's one rule! Actually there are a lot, but Alfred said we should just sum it up into one umbrella rule…" Lithuania said, squinting slightly.
"O-oh, what's the rule?" Estonia giddily said, his face already a slight pink colour from blushing about the spooktacular events to come.
"Nothing perverted, period." Lithuania said and sighed, "Just this once, Edvard, please could you try to be normal at this thing?"
"Y-yeah," Estonia stuttered out as he let out his signature Estonian chuckle, "I'll go as y-you, Liet."
Lithuania stopped in his tracks, turned around and glared at the Estonian man occupying the cringey Shaquille O'Neal themed bedroom.
"Please don't, okay?" Lithuania huffed, "I'm actually offended and disgusted by you…"
Estonia used his Estonian magic to make his eyes well up with tears. He turned to the wall and hugged his comforter, which was printed with a large picture of Shaquille O'Neal making a slam dunk on an unworthy opponent.
"F-fine then…if that's how you feel…I'm sorry, ok?" Estonia stuttered, hoping his little Estonian plan would succeed. Hell, he didn't really want to go as Lithuania at all. What Estonia really wanted to go as was Shaquille O'Neal, but he knew that was going to perceived as a little bit racist (just a little bit…). He decided his best bet would be the dollar store, where things normally ended up being scary no matter what time of year.
"I'm just gonna…leave now…ok, Edvard? But please, don't screw up the party this time! It's tonight, alright? You don't have to be there, I don't want you there, but we had to invite you anyways," Lithuania said softly and turned and left Edvard to ponder his next move.
"O-Oh, I have a...very nice idea…" Estonia said to himself and grabbed his wallet as he locked his door. "To the dollar store we go…"
Latvia was dozing off in the chair by the front door since he had just finished his kitchen duties. He smelt the smell of sweat, cucumber juice, and lattes and started trying to pretend to be asleep completely. There was no way in hell he was going anywhere with the Estonian, especially since he knew it was most likely to get 'party preparations'.
"L-Latviaaaaaaa~" Estonia sang out to the young Latvian boy, getting creepily close to the child's face. "We're going to the dollar store to get a...very special vegetable costume…"
Latvia pretended to snore softly and turned over, hoping Edvard would just go away on his cringey shopping adventure by himself and let him be.
"I know you're not sleeping, Raivis. You're too afraid Russia will come home and see you slacking after your work," Edvard whispered softly, "We are going to the dollar store, whether you want to or not."
He picked up the Latvian child by the arm, who slapped Estonia quickly, and dropped to the ground, cringing.
"I'm not going to the dollar store with you! Go get your stupid stuff by yourself!" Latvia said and then made a quite spooky noise as his voice cracked.
After about 69 seconds, Estonia snuck the young Latvian boy into the car. He made sure that the doors were locked quite tightly as he clambered into the drivers' seat.
"Huehuehue, you have no choice now, Yung Latvia…" Estonia said 'soothingly' and pet the young Latvian child in the back seat.
They made their way to the dollar store and Estonia exited the car, dragging the small child along with him, who was kicking and trying to escape from the hands of the Estonian man who was his captor.
"He-here we are, Latvia…." Estonia said in a creepy voice as he did his signature creepy lip lick. "D-Dollar Corporal...even better than Dollar General…"
Estonia smirked and waltzed in the store. Many cringey costumed adorned the shelves and Latvia thought Estonia was about to pass out with excitement over some terribly crafted costumes which were probably made by Vietnamese orphans, sad to say.
"How about this one for you, Raivis?" Estonia said and picked up a clearly knockoff Soul Eater costume, called 'Spirit Devourer', which was only 10.69$. Estonia's jimmies were quite rustled, but not rustled quite enough.
"N-no, that's a girl costume, Edvard," Latvia said quietly and kept eyeing the door. "Can't we just grab a costume and go?"
"C-Come on, young Latvia, get into the spirit of the season!" Estonia said as he whipped a knockoff Sailor Moon costume, called 'Intergalactic Scouts', at the young Latvian's head.
The young Latvian dodged and the costume packet hit the shelf behind the Latvian child, knocking down a few costumes people had strewn up behind them in a jumble on the shelf.
One costume in particular seemed to stand out to Estonia. A large, green, shiny packet fell to the floor and Estonia's breath seemed to catch in his throat as he realized what it was.
"H-Harry…" Estonia said as he picked up the packet and saw a giant, malformed, knockoff of 'Veggie Tales' called 'Vegetable Stories' costume of the cucumber. Estonia's eyes welled up with tears as he grabbed the matching tomato costume, which looked like a large wad of chewed up gum made of felt, and Latvia and jetted to the check out.
"I-I'll take these," he said as he threw the costumes on the counter. "You people are gods."
The teenaged, rather angered-looking cashier raised his eyebrow and scanned the two packets.
"That'll be ten dollars and sixty-eight cents," the boy, whose nametag read 'Billie' said, "Would you like to donate to The Fruit Fund? With every donation, you're helping people receive the fruity advice they need."
"O-oh yes, that sounds splendid," Estonia said and licked his creepy Estonian lips twice, "Donate... sixty-nine cents in my name. Edvard von Bock. Don't wear it out…"
Billie sighed and looked up at Edvard before taking the sixty-nine cents and depositing them into a clear jar decorated with several fruit stickers with cute faces drawn on them in black Sharpie marker.
"I'm supposed to appreciate every donation equally, but I appreciated yours most of all…" Billie said with a smartass undertone to his voice, "That's something I would do to be quite honest."
Edvard smirked and then grabbed the bags as he slid one shiny penny across the counter towards Billie.
"That's to balance our bill to ten dollars and sixty-nine cents," Edvard said before walking out of the store and getting back in his groaty car and heading up to the party.
Once he and Latvia reached the party, he had already managed to shove the young child into the malformed tomato suit and Estonia had wiggled his way into the large, wrinkled cucumber costume. He let out a small squee of excitement before jumping out of the car and heading up to the flat where France was hosting the party.
Estonia snuck his way down the hall to get to the elevator, dragging the reluctant young Latvian child behind him all the way. Latvia was hoping that Sealand would be at the party and he could manage to get away from Estonia long enough to actually relax for once and not worry about when a certain pale Estonian man would slither their way into his room and attempt to tickle him while whispering various Shaquille O'Neal phrases.
As he was standing outside the door to the elevator, Latvia heard something a' rustlin' around in the potted plant and a finger beckoning him to come near it.
"U-uh Edvard… I gotta use the bathroom!" Latvia said and looked up at Estonia, hoping he would take the bait and let the child roam.
"Not now, Raivis, you'll get lost! And we can't have you getting lost...before the party…" Estonia said creepily while rubbing his arms up and down the cucumber costume, "T-that would be as tragic as the Titanic…"
"But Edvarddddd! I'm gonna tinkle in my trousers if you don't let me go!" Latvia said using some nifty wordplay, which he knew Edvard would appreciate thoroughly, "Please! I promise I'll meet up with you at the party!"
"Fine! B-but if you get lost...here's my number…" Estonia said and pulled out a pen from his pocket that was Shaquille O'Neal themed, wrote '69' on Latvia's hand, winked, and patted the child's hand as Latvia went in the direction of the plant as Estonia stepped on the elevator and went high as Snoop.
"H-hello?" Latvia whispered and then saw Sealand, Finland, and Sweden squatting around the corner behind a large assortment of potted plants, "H-hey, what're you guys doing here? Aren't you supposed to be up at the party?"
"No, the party was all a trap to lure Estonia up so we can destroy the Shaq doll," Finland said and shivered, "H-he hasn't gotten any more shipments of those creepy things, has he?"
"Unfortunately, he gets them delivered pretty much weekly. But his most prized one is the blow up one with a voice-recorder box that he got illegally…and he always carries it with him in the black bag with a flaming basketball that has a '69: Shaquille O'Neal' in the middle drawn with Sharpie," Latvia said and felt a wave of nausea hit him with even the mere thought of Estonia's creepy Shaq dolls and memorabilia.
"Alright. Well, we're supposed to take you to our house for a bit while they settle the whole 'Edvard' situation," Finland said and they all headed out and then Latvia began pondering exactly who and how would 'settle the Edvard situation'.
"How are they acquiring and destroying the Shaq doll, by the way?" Latvia asked as he, Sealand, Finland, and Sweden were loading up in Sweden's Volvo.
"Oh, you'll see," Sweden said with a smug look upon his face, "You'll see…"
Meanwhile, upstairs in the 'party room', Edvard was standing outside the door that was marked 'Flat 41A'. He pulled the glove off his right hand as he knocked on the door and waited for the fiesta to commence.
Out of seemingly nowhere, France, Germany, and America rushed Estonia and knocked him into the apartment as Switzerland opened the door and then closed it quickly.
"Okay Estonia, hand over the Shaq doll!" Switzerland angrily exclaimed and stood over Estonia as Germany and America held him down. "This is the last time you're attempting to molest Latvia and a black man from America and who knows what else!"
"B-but Shaq is mine! Mine and mine alone!" Estonia said, his cheeks turning beet red. "What I do with Shaquille is my business, got that?"
Germany slapped Estonia rather harshly.
"Where is the doll, Estonia?! Just let us...meet him...okay?" Germany yelled and then started to form a rather spooky plan in order to acquire the one, the only, the Shaquille O'Neal blow up doll.
"Oh, you wanna meet Shaq?" Estonia said and then looked up at Germany with puppy eyes. "I knew...you'd come around…ok but ONLY Germany can see him! Got it! Everybody else cover your eyes until our Shaquilicious meeting is over!"
"You got it, asshat," Switzerland muttered and then pretended to 'cover his eyes', per Estonia's wishes.
Estonia pointed over at the Shaq bag as Germany released his arm and temporarily left to go acquire the bag. He then was held down by Switzerland and America as France had Estonia's feet and was tickling him pervertedly on his kneecaps.
Germany pulled out the Shaq doll and realized it was rather…squishy. He examined it further and then turned on the automatic pump so that the Shaq doll could be blown up.
" I've succeeded at every level, except high school and college," the doll said rather spookily as the voice recording box was started. "Can't forget 'The Big Antarctica' because I'm so cold."
America cringed as he heard the Shaquille O'Neal quotes and could not believe out of every single person in the world, Edvard just had to be obsessed with Shaq. Shaq was great and all, but surely there were other people that were maybe a little bit more like Edvard that would appeal to him more. Take Bill Cosby or Jared Fogel for example. Now they seemed like people Estonia would be more interested in being completely head-over-heels for.
Germany motioned to Switzerland, who grabbed his glock and began glocking tf out of the Shaquille O'Neal doll until its speech was severely slurred and the doll itself was unrecognizable. He then dropped it out the window into the dumpster and brushed off his gloves.
Meanwhile, still in the large green cucumber suit, Estonia was bawling and screeching out, "SHAQ! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
And that was the spookiest Halloween by far any of them had ever experienced.