**NOTE** If you do not follow Twitter and the accounts of Alison_Humphrey, RufusXhumphrey, williamvdw, and lillianceliavdw this story will probably not make sense to you. It does not follow the show, but the very crazy lives of Alison Humphrey and William van der Woodsen.
A little back story: Lily had an affair with William over the summer. She started a very torrid love affair with him that lasted almost a year. It pushed her marriage with Rufus to the limits. Meanwhile Alison came back to New York to be with her family after she broke up with Alex. Alex turned out to be a little bit crazy and one night stabbed Alison in her apartment. Will and Alison soon became best friends and he moved in with her to help her put her life back together. In the months that they lived together, Alison had fallen in love with William, but too wrapped up in his love for Lily he never saw.
Will was still madly in love with Lily, and at one point Lily became pregnant with his child. After a few months Lily lost the child and Will went deep into depression and decided to end his relationship with Lily, because he knew that she would probably be happier with Rufus. He turned to Alison for support and one night one thing led to another….
The Boathouse
For Willbill
The spotlight was coming closer to the side of the stage and she knew it was almost her cue. She was counting the beats in her head, the pounding of the drums keeping tempo for her. Her heart was pounding and she was sure everyone in the wings could hear it. She looked down at her black character shoe just as a beam of light flashed and illuminated her leg.
She took a deep breath and pushed herself on stage. She tried to keep time in her head as she concentrated on her dance moves. A Chaînés then into an Elevé, three beats and she lifted into a fouetté. Each move she did she tried to cast a glace off into the audience. It was dark and the lights were so bright making it nearly impossible to see, but she trained herself to remember exactly where his seat would be.
Suddenly dancers entered from both stage right and left obscuring her view as they danced around her. It was opening night and everyone was at the top of his or her game. She felt herself being tugged backward as her partner lifted her off her feet and spun her around. She gripped onto his arms as he pulled her downstage and dipped her backward. Her eyes quickly searched to his spot…..twelfth row center. She was lifted up again this time the lights were not in her eyes and she was able to see.
She moved her head to the side and that's when she caught his gaze. He was staring at her and he was smiling. She turned quickly again in another chain of fouettés, each time seeing his face. It had been almost two years to the date from the last time she'd seen him. But to her it was like yesterday, and she could still imagine herself at the boathouse with him. The four days she spent with him changed her life, and she hadn't seen him or the boathouse since.
She had gone through six costume changes two hair pinups and an intermission before it was finally the last scene of the show. Each act that she was on stage she watched him as best as she could. His hair was the same, combed back and a bit gelled. He was freshly shaven and wearing a black suit with a blue tie. The smile never left his face as he watched her. She thought it would make her nervous to have him watch her, but it was oddly comforting to know he was there. He was there. He came all the way from Paris to see her dance just like he promised her two years ago after they made love and before they went sailing….their last day together.
She took a deep breath and walked out onto the stage for her final bow. She looked at him and he rose to his feet clapping and smiling at her brightly. She bent over to take her bow, her smile matching his, and when she stood back up to look at him once more he was gone.
"Will!"
"………Miss"
"Will!" she screamed again.
"Ma'am…ma'am wake up."
Alison's eyes shot open and she looked around quickly remembering where she was and bringing herself back to reality. She brushed her matted hair away from her face and swallowed hard.
"Ma'am are you sure you're okay?"
She looked up at the stewardess, blinking a few times. "C-could I have some water please?"
"Of course," she touched her shoulder. "I'll be right back."
Alison closed her eyes again, breathing hard. She had the dream again. For the past week she had the same recurring dream and it always ended the same. She laid her head back and turned to her side, looking out the window. It was dark and all she could see was the flashing green lights on the wing of the plane.
Sighing she laid her hand on her distended belly. She looked down at it, making lazy circles with her finger. She had fought with this decision for months and only today did she decide to actually go through with what her heart had been telling her all along. She was going to Paris to tell Will that she was eight months pregnant with his child.
"Here you go," the stewardess handed her a bottle of water and a plastic cup "Are you sure you don't need anything else honey?"
"No," she smiled. "Thank you, this is fine."
The stewardess looked down at her and smiled. "When are you due?"
Alison placed both of her hands on her abdomen. "In about another month. February 28th."
"Is this your first?" she wondered.
"No," she shook her head. "It's my third."
"Well good luck," she smiled, touching her shoulder before walking away.
"Thank you," she whispered.
She took a quick sip of her water and placed it back in the cup holder. She moved around a bit in her seat trying to find a comfortable position. She couldn't remember the flight to Paris taking this long last year. She sighed and tried to stretch out her legs as best as she could.
She heard the pilot come on the intercom announcing they were going to be landing in Paris in twenty minutes. She bit her lip, a million things rushed to her mind and she started to have doubts. What was she doing? Was this the right thing? Would he even care?
She shook her head trying to erase all the bad thoughts. She saw the seat belt sign turn on and buckled herself back in. It fit tightly around her belly making everything around her unpleasant. She took a deep breath and hoped the plane would land soon.
****~~~****
After getting lost in the airport and baggage being delayed she had finally found a cab to take her to William's house. And that's where she was, the car was parked outside the gate and she could hardly see the house because of the heavy rain that poured down into the night. It was just after eight o'clock but the winter's sun had set hours ago. She took a couple deep breaths to steady herself and to stop the racing of her heart. She felt a kick of protest in her stomach and she held her hand there, willing it to stop.
"Douze dollars," the cabbie looked at her through his rear-view mirror. "Douze?"
She looked up at him. "Oh, I'm sorry," she opened her purse pulling out his money. She handed it to him and then looked back again at the house. She saw a light coming from a second story window. She remembered that window, it was William's room.
She gathering her things from the cab and hurried out into the rain before she lost her nerve. She opened the large rod-iron gate and slipped through. She quickly walked up the cobblestone steps scolding herself in forgetting her umbrella, she was already soaked. Being careful not to trip she made her way up to the door. She stood there for a moment frozen. She stared at the doorbell afraid to touch it as if it were fire. She looked around the massive house. Everything seemed to be the same, only different. She closed her eyes, taking a few deep breaths. It was going to be okay. Everything would be okay. It had to be.
Her gloved hand shook as she brought it up to ring the doorbell. She stood there a moment , her breathing becoming quick, and then the baby started to kick again as if in protest. Moments started to slip by as no one came to the door. It never entered her mind that he wouldn't be there. She didn't even give herself time to think about that. She rang the bell one more time.
She turned around and looked toward the side yard. Everything was so dark except for the tiny yard lights that illuminated the trail up to the door. She remembered walking up to the house for the first time. She was so excited to see it. She wondered if he had decorated it any differently.
Suddenly the door swung open. "Do you know what time it is!"
Her body suddenly stiffened at the sound of his voice. She knew that voice, and he was upset. She took a deep breath and slowly turned around. She looked at the ground slowly making her way up to meet his eyes.
"A-alison?" he looked at her.
She cocked her head to the side. "Hi Will," she smiled lopsidedly.
"Alison….I…what are you doing here?" He looked at her. "And you're soaking wet," he grabbed her hand. "Get in here."
She followed him into the house, becoming more nervous by the minute. She held her bag in front of her. And she wore her long raincoat that concealed her pregnancy quite well.
Her eyes quickly scanned the house. It wasn't as tidy as it was the last time she was here. Books and unopened mail crowed the counter. A few takeout boxes sat on the table, and dishes overflowed the sink.
"Alison," he said again. "What…what are you doing here?"
She stood there looking at him. His eyes looked tired his face had a few more lines than she remembered and he had lost weight, that was apparent. "I…I um," she licked her lips. "I don't know," she turned around making her way toward the door."
"Alison!" he grabbed her arm. "Are you okay? What's going on?"
She stopped, not turning around, scared to face him. "I'm fine," she said, trying to sound as normal as she could.
"I know you better than that," he tried to turn her. "Take your coat off, you're dripping everywhere."
"No, Will, I….just. I'll come back later." Her nerves started to get the better of her. What was she doing there? How the hell did she even get to Paris? She couldn't remember anymore.
"Alison!" he turned her around . "What is going on with you?" He took her bag from her hand and set it on the ground.
"Will….I'm….I….," she stopped when suddenly the baby kicked her—hard. "Mmm…." she grunted, touching her side.
"Al," he grabbed her arm. "Are you in pain? What's wrong?" he pulled out a chair. "Sit down and….and take off this damn coat," he pulled at the tie of her trench and it fell open."
"Will no…I just-"
He stopped when he saw her abdomen. He looked at her and then to her stomach again, pushing the coat aside. "Y-your pregnant," he said more as a question than a statement.
She looked down not able to move. This wasn't how it was suppose to go. This wasn't how it was suppose to be.
He backed away, slowly bringing his eyes up to match hers. "A-alison?"
She looked at him, not knowing what to say. "Will….."
He brushed his hand through his hair turning around, giving himself a moment. He looked at her and then back to her stomach again. He could tell she was pretty far along. He could place the date. "Is it….is it mine?"
She looked at him and her eyes started to well up. She couldn't trust her voice so all she did was nod yes.
He took a deep breath and started to pace the kitchen. A million thoughts jumped into his mind, but he couldn't grasp any of them. This…this wasn't happening to him again. He couldn't believe it. He couldn't.
"Please…please say something," she looked at him. "Please."
He stopped pacing and turned to her. "What do you want me to say?"
"What you're feeling. I don't know," she sat down feeling dizzy. "What you're thinking."
"I don't know what I'm thinking right now," he was honest.
She closed her eyes again trying to focus on her breathing. She was wet and cold and uncomfortable. And she wished she never went to Paris.
His fist balled at his sides, and twinges of anger and nervousness started to bubble within him. He turned around and saw Alison sitting in the chair. Her eyes were closed and her hand rested on her stomach. It looked as though she were counting. He watched her for a few seconds more and he could tell she was just tying to calm her breathing. All anger fled him in that moment. He walked over to her taking her hands and lifting her from her chair.
"Will?" she looked up at him.
"Lets get this coat off of you," he pulled her arm out. "You'll catch pneumonia."
She did as she was asked and took off her coat and William hung it over the chair. She was about to sit back down when he took her arm.
"Let's sit in the living room, it's more comfortable than these kitchen chairs," he told her.
She made her way into the living room already knowing the place by heart. William turned on the light illuminating the room. It was a little cleaner than the kitchen but not by much.
"Sorry," he stammered, picking a few newspapers off of the couch and setting them on the coffee table. "I wasn't expecting company." He took her by her arm and helped her on the couch. "Here sit down."
She sat down, moving back a bit so her back could rest against the cushions. She looked down at her trembling hands. Her palms were a bit sweaty even though she was freezing. She slowly turned her head to look at William, and he was looking intently at her stomach.
"Why….why didn't you tell me sooner?" he looked up at her with sad eyes.
She shook her head, "Will I don't—"
"I would have come to New York. You shouldn't have flown all the way to Paris. Alone. It's not safe for you or the baby."
She placed her hand on top of her belly. "I….I wasn't going to tell you at all. This wasn't supposed to happen. I wasn't…I wasn't suppose to get pregnant."
Those words rang in his mind. He hated those words. They were the same Lily had said to him. He swallowed the lump in his throat and turned to her. "Are…are you okay? The baby? Is it okay?"
She smiled softly and rubbed her stomach. "We're both fine…healthy," she told him. "We're okay."
He looked forward, his eyes growing large as his stare turned blank. "Good," he nodded. "Good."
She felt as though he were a million miles away even though he was sitting right in front of her. "I wasn't going to tell you," she started again. "But then I thought of Rufus, and how devastated he was when Lily didn't tell him about Scott. And I know how you feel about children, and I felt guilty….and before I knew it months went by and…I just woke up this morning and left."
He sat at the edge of his chair his elbows resting on his knees. Guilt started to creep into him as well. He pinched the bridge of his nose trying to relieve the pressure that was building up. "Have you gotten any help?" he wondered. "Your parents? Stefan? Anyone to be there? Get things for you? Be there with you?"
"My parents don't know," she shook her head. "I can't deal with that yet. And…and Rufus has helped a little. He stop's by to check on me every now and then, even though I told him not to because it's putting a strain on his marriage."
"Why would that put a strain on his marriage?" he asked.
She sighed, "Lily and I are back to hating one another again. She's very upset and hurt about my pregnancy. She feels I did it on purpose. She doesn't let Rufus see me."
He looked at Alison at the mention of her name. It's been awhile since he heard it. Since he even said it. He shook his head, trying to get her out of his mind again. It was over and he didn't need it. He sighed and looked back down, "I'm sorry you've had to do this on your own. God, I wish you would have called me."
"And what would you have done William?" she looked at him. 'Come back to New York? Resented me? The baby? No," she shook her head. "I knew you had to leave. I knew you needed to work out your issues. I wasn't going to trap you there. You didn't…..you don't deserve that."
"What about you?" he looked at her? "What about the things you wanted to do?"
"That doesn't matter now," she looked away. "I wouldn't have changed the way I handled things."
"Why not?" he pushed.
"Because I wasn't the one, William!" she bit her lip. "I wasn't the one you wanted to do this with. I'm still not, and I won't ever be."
"Alison….."
"I've accepted that Will," she looked at him. "From the day we were together I knew."
"I wanted to be with you that day at the boathouse," he took her hand. "I've never regretted that day. I don't want you to think that. That was never my intention."
"Even now," she looked at her stomach.
"Look at me, " he squeezed her hand. "I never regret children. Especially my own."
She sighed.
"What I do regret is you feeling you couldn't tell me. I regret not being there. Pregnancy is hard Al. No woman should have to do it alone. "
"It hasn't been that hard," she was truthful. "I know what to do and what not to do now."
"That's good," he smiled. "But you still need someone, Alison."
"William I'm fine. I only have a month left," she ran her hands through her hair. "Really."
He took her hands again, "But what about when your feet hurt and need to be rubbed, or your back? Or you get a craving in the middle of the night and need some ridiculous over-sugared food?"
She sat back, thinking back to the many nights she cried wishing someone was there. Even if it was just to talk to. "I'm fine Will," she tired to say as convincingly as possible.
"I don't believe you," he leaned over taking her foot.
"Will…." She was too tired to resist.
"Alison you're soaked, your pants and socks are all wet," he was upset.
She tried to get up from the couch. "I need to get back to my hotel. I'm tired, and cold, and I need a shower."
He placed his arm around her waist helping her up from the couch. "No, you're not going to some hotel. You're staying here. Come on, let's get you upstairs."
She sighed," No, Will. This isn't what I came for. I'll come back tomorrow and we can talk more, alright."
"Nope," he picked her bag up from the kitchen floor. "Let's go upstairs."
"Will," she sighed.
"Alison….." he laughed.
"Fine."
He led her up the stairs and into the guest room, setting her bags on the dresser. "Here, sit on the bed and I'll draw you a bath."
"As wonderful as that sounds, I should probably take a shower. It's hard for me to get out of the tub," she blushed.
"Hey, don't worry about it," he got up. "I think Aimee left some bubble bath around here somewhere."
"How is Aimee?" she asked as he walked out of the room.
"Good," his voice was muffled as it came from down the hall. "She's in school right now, so she's staying with her grandmother."
"That's good," she nodded as she looked around the room.
"Here's some," he walked back in looking at the label. "Do you like…..jasmine and honey?" he frowned.
"Will, I said I was going to take a shower," she looked at him.
He turned on the light and walked into the enjoining bathroom. "You can't relax in the shower." He turned on the water watching it fill the claw foot tub. He poured in some of the bubble bath watching it lather up under the running water.
She got off the bed and walked toward the bathroom leaning in the doorway. She looked down at the steaming tub and it did look wonderful. She watched Will for a moment his gaze was lost in the water and she could tell he was deep in thought. She bit her bottom lip and sat at the edge of the tub. "Thank you."
He looked at her, "For what? Filling a tub?"
"For letting me stay here tonight," she smiled looking down at the tub. "This."
"Let me…Let me just take care of you, alright?" He looked at her. "Let me do this."
"You know this isn't want I came here for. I came because I owed it to you to tell you about this baby," she looked at him. "I didn't come here because I want your money, or for you to come back…or that I need to be taken care of."
He brushed her hair back from her face, and rested his hand on her cheek. "You forget that I know you Alison Humphrey. "
She touched his hand. "I know you do, and that scares me."
"Why?"
"Because sometimes…sometimes I feel that you can see right through me. You always knew what I was feeling. You always knew when something was wrong and were always there."
He let go of her cheek, "Not all the time."
"And that's not your fault," she shook her head.
"Then just humor me, okay?" He turned off the water and stood. "Do you need any help?"
She bit her lip. If she knew one thing about Will, it was that if he wanted to help someone, you just let him do it, because in the end he'd get his way anyways. "I'm sure I'll be fine."
"All right, I'll just be in the other room. Call me when you want to get out."
"Will," she frowned.
"I don't want you slipping trying to get out of the tub," he eyed her.
"I'll call you if I need anything," she turned to look at him. "I promise."
"Okay." He turned and left the bathroom leaving the door slightly ajar so he could hear if she needed him. He paced the room for a few seconds before sitting on the bed letting out a huge sigh as he ran his hands through his hair. He couldn't believe it. It didn't even cross his mind that she could become pregnant, but he should have known.
He had spent the last few months throwing himself into his work trying to forget both Lily and Alison. And it wasn't easy. At least he knew that Lily had someone, someone that she loved and loved her back. It was Alison that he worried about. He knew that she was a lot stronger than when he first met her, but he couldn't stand that he wasn't strong enough and left her. It always seemed that he left the people in his life that he cared about the most.
And now, she was having his child. And for a fleeting moment he agreed that she wasn't the one he wanted to do it with, but then as fast as it came it left. He couldn't deny that Alison had been on his mind just has much as Lily had the past eight months, but she was on his mind in a different way. He never wanted to admit it because he was so in love with Lily, but as the days drew on he thought less about her about more about the fun times he had with Alison. He brushed it off though as just side thoughts because he didn't want to feel the pain that not having Lily brought him.
Was he really just suppressing his feelings for Alison, because it made him feel unfaithful to a woman that wasn't even his? He looked back at the bathroom door, thinking about what was behind it. A woman that he had feelings for….a woman that he knew he had feelings for and his unborn child. He closed his eyes. Was this his second chance? Was this the reason, his and Lily's child died? He knew that he could never have been with Lily. She would have never left Rufus for him, as much as he wanted it. Was this where God was leading him? Was he supposed to be with Alison and raise this child together?
Was he even ready to be in a relationship? Did he even want to be with Alison? All he knew was he didn't want to be alone. He was tired of it. He looked at Alison's bags on the dresser and opened them, beginning to put her clothes in the drawers. He hung her garment bag in the closet and noticed she was carrying the Birkin he bought her. He didn't know why but that made him smile.
He turned at looked at the clock. Alison had been in the tub for almost a half an hour and he hadn't heard a sound. He walked toward the bathroom. "Alison?" he knocked. "Are you almost finished?" He heard no reply. "Alison?" He bit his lip becoming a little nervous. "A-alison?" he peaked his head inside. He looked down and saw her fast asleep in the tub. The bubbles covered her body completely except for the very tip of her belly. He moved further in just watching her. She looked well rested except for the few lines under her eyes no doubt from the long day of travel. She also had good coloring. She looked healthy. He could tell just by looking at her she was taking care of herself and the baby. If there was one thing he knew about Alison was that she always took care of others before herself. And she was taking care of her baby.
"Alison," he bent down to his knees. "Wake up."
"Mmm…" she moved her head to the side.
"You're going to turn into a prune, if you don't get out," he smiled. "Wake up."
Slowly her eyes fluttered open. "Will?" she tried to focus.
"Come on, let's get you out of here, the water must be cold by now," he held out his hand."
"Will!" she looked down at herself. "What are you doing in here!"
"I was calling your name and you didn't answer I got nervous."
"Well I'm fine. You can go," she nodded toward the door.
He smirked, "It's not like I haven't seen you naked before."
"Well you haven't seen me like this," she eyed him. "And it's not appropriate now."
He picked up a towel and handed it to her before walking toward the door. "I saw you pretty much naked before that too," he said before shutting the door."
"What!" she stood up from the tub wrapping her towel around herself. "What did you just say?" She opened the bathroom door. "William!"
"Nothing," he shook his head laughing."
She walked further into the room and noticed her things were unpacked. "What did you do with my clothes?"
He pointed, "I put them into the drawers."
"Why?"
"Why don't you just get changed and we'll talk about it in the morning?"
"No," she moved into the closet to get changed. "Don't think you're getting off that easy van der Woodsen. Luckily for you I'm in the mood to talk. Now."
He sat on the side of the bed waiting for her to come out of the closet. He couldn't help but laugh thinking about her reaction just now. He looked up and caught his reflection in the mirror. He was smiling. God, he couldn't remember the last time he had done that. Just then he heard her walk out of the closet. He turned and his breath caught in the back of his throat for a moment. She had on a long coral satin nightgown. She was still small in frame, but the gown tugged tightly around her large belly….and other places. Her hair was longer than he remembered, falling past her shoulders. She had that pregnancy glow about her. There was no doubt about that.
As she walked out she noticed William staring at her. She looked down uncomfortable for a moment then moved her hand to cover her chest. "Quit looking I know they're huge."
"No…."he shook his head. "I….I wasn't….I…."
She quickly got into bed and drew the coverers up. "It's the only thing that fits and I wasn't expecting anyone to see me in it."
"You look good," he smiled.
She rolled her eyes. "Mmm…yes I'm sure I do. Now what was this about you seeing me naked before…before we…."
He laughed pushing himself further on the bed. "It was here in Paris."
"Were you spying on me?" she eyed him.
"No," he laughed. You're the one who threw your clothes off in front of me!"
"What!" her eye grew large. "I did no such thing!"
"Yes you did! It was our third night in Paris and we were so drunk we couldn't find our rooms. It was after you made me go Salsa dancing. Remember?"
She thought for a moment, "I remember dancing, yes."
"Well we got back to your room, and you had to take your meds, and you needed help with your ointment "
"Okay?" he eyed him.
"Well before I knew what you were doing, you unzipped your dress and threw it on the floor laying back in the bed," he laughed.
Her face turned red, "I did not!"
"Oh, but you did. And you didn't even think anything of it." He sat back on the bed laughing as he remembered.
Bits and pieces started to come back to her. That was the morning they both woke up in her bed together and Lily called and she made the mistake of answering his phone. And she didn't have any….clothes on. "Oh God, I did."
"Told you," he laughed again.
She shook her head not wanting to think about it. She was in Paris under such different circumstances last year. She couldn't believe how much her life has changed since then.
He watched her face go from smiling to that of consternation. "Hey, what's wrong?"
She smiled, "Nothing."
"Here, move over," he reached to pull the covers up putting his legs underneath.
"What are you doing," she asked, looking over at him.
"After all this time you have to ask," he looked at her. "How many times have we sat in bed together talking, Mmm?"
She turned her lip up into a grin. "More than I can remember."
He looked at her for moment before searching for her hand under the sheets. "Alison?"
She bit her lip before looking down at him. "What?"
"Do…do you know what you're having?" he wondered.
She nodded.
He squeezed her hand, looking at her.
"It's…it's a girl."
He smiled looking at her stomach. "Can…can I?"
She took his hand from under the covers and placed it on the top of her belly then around to the side, pushing inward gently. "I think that's a foot," she laughed.
As soon as he placed his hand to the side, he felt a swift kick to his palm. And he quickly looked up to her.
"She's a kicker," Alison laughed. "Some days I swear she's going to kick her way out of the side of my belly."
He looked at her, and then down to her belly again. "Do…you think she knows who I am?" He asked, and then felt foolish for doing so.
She placed both her hands on top of his. "Of course she does."
He looked up at Alison again. "I…I want to feel her."
She eyed him, chewing on the inside of her lip, before pulling the covers down. "Help…me a bit."
He pulled the sheets down to the end of the bed, and then slowly started to bunch up the edges of her nightgown. "You sure?"
She nodded, sitting up a bit, pulling her nightgown up over legs and belly and gathering it up under her breasts. She looked at him and then to her stomach. She took his hand and lightly placed in back to where it was. She then took his other hand and placed it on the other side slightly lower. "Her heads right there."
His hands remained still for a moment before rubbing the area where her head was. It was then that he noticed the faint white line that traveled half the length of her abdomen.
She noticed him looking at her scar. "The doctor told me, that I was lucky. A couple millimeters over and it would have punctured my uterus. I wouldn't have been able to have her."
He looked up at her, fresh tears coming to his eyes. "Stay here," he whispered.
"I'm not going anywhere," she shook her head.
"No," he moved to cup her cheek. "Stay here."
"Will," she understood his meaning. "I…I can't stay in Paris."
He swallowed hard, "Then I'm coming back with you to New York."
"No," she shook her head. "You're not coming back to New York. I won't have you miserable and hating where you are because of me….of this. No."
"Then why can't you stay in Paris? You once told me you wanted to stay here--that you loved it. Stay."
"William, my family is in New York," she looked at him. "My children."
"They're more than welcome to come here anytime they want," he didn't hesitate. "This would be a perfect place for Jenny. It's the fashion capital of the world. She'd love it."
"What about my art gallery? And Chloe?" she shook her head. "I can't do that to her. Besides aren't you jumping ahead of yourself a little here?
He shook his head.
"You're confused," she told him. "I'm not the one you want William."
"Stop saying that!" he looked away. "You don't know what I want!"
She grew silent, her back starting to stiffen up. She moved forward dropping her nightgown to cover her stomach. Her hand moved to her lower back rubbing it in circular motions.
He looked over at her and could tell she was uncomfortable. "Here," he moved her forward so he could sit behind her and massage her lower back. "I…I do know that I want to be a part of her life. A…a big part. I'll go along with your wishes….but please don't keep her from me."
She leaned back into him as he undid the knots in her lower back. "I would never do that. That's why I came. I didn't come here looking for something for myself."
"I know," he nodded. "You always think about yourself last." He stopped rubbing her back and pulled her into his arms. "Think about Alison first for once. What does she want?"
"I don't want anything."
'Well I want you."
"No you don't," she shook her head.
"Damn it, Alison. Why do you think I left?
She didn't say anything.
"Yes, I was torn up about Lily. I couldn't be in New York and not be with her. But…I was scared because…I had feelings for you that I didn't know what to do with. I didn't know what they were."
"And you still don't," she knew. "Because I messed everything up by telling you what I did."
"I was a fool, Alison. I was a fool, in trying to convince myself that we weren't more than friends. I did things with you that you don't do with just friends."
"Will…"
"I realized that the day I made love to you. You made me fall for you too Al."
She started to cry. "Please don't say things you don't mean. I…I can't do this again," she looked away. "It was hard enough with Rufus. I don't deserve that to happen to me again."
"Listen to me," he wiped away her tears with the pads of his thumbs. "Rufus was an idiot for letting you go. But his loss is my gain."
She looked down.
"Al, looked at me," he touched her chin. "When I'm with someone. I'm with them. There is no one else. I would never do that to you. And I'm not picking you because I can't have Lily."
"You don't know how much I want to believe that."
"Have I ever lied to you, Alison?" he asked.
She took a deep breath shaking her head.
"I'm not going to be with someone just for the heck of it. Or because I'm trying to fill some void. I would never ever do that to you. You're special Alison, and someday I'm going to make you see that. "
"There are so many factors Will. I don't know how any thing would work. I… don't…
"Shut up, Alison," he pulled her in kissing her hard.
She kissed him back for a moment, before pulling away. "I….I told you never to say that to me again."
"Mmm…." He kissed her again. "Too bad."
She smiled, pulling him close to her, trying not to think about anything. She would try her damnest to make it work. It was worth too much to her.
He kissed her lips then her cheeks before looking her in the eyes. 'Do you still feel the same about me?" he asked.
She didn't hesitate. "You know I do."
He smiled.
She looked at him, and took a deep breath. "Do you feel the same about me?"
"No," he shook his head.
She looked passed him, nodding. She didn't expect him to.
He turned her head again to look at him. "These eight month have been hell. And…and it's because I haven't seen you. I fell in love with you too Al," he kissed her. "I love you too."
She wrapped her arms around him resting her head on his shoulder. "How are we going to make this work?" she asked.
He laid back in the bed pulling her to him. "With love," he squeezed her. "And…what do you think about having the baby here?" he asked. "Let me take care of you this last month. Let me spoil you and make up for the last eight?
"What about after that?" she wondered. "I don't think I can stay in Paris. I…I mean I could try. I would try."
He kissed her temple. "We don't have to stay here," he told her.
"I'm not making you live in New York, Will," she shook her head.
"I have a better idea," he smiled.
She turned to look at him. "What?"
"How about Hudson?"
"The boathouse," she was looked at him. "You'd want to live at the boathouse?"
"If you'll have me," he smiled. "I would love too."
"But Hudson's such a small town. It's nothing like here. And my family is there…."
"I don't have to stay at the boathouse. I…I know your parents are old-fashioned. That's fine."
She laughed, "They knew we were already living together. And you stayed with me last time. They brought us breakfast remember," she laughed. "They really like you."
"I really like them."
"Do you really want to live in Hudson?" she asked again, wanting to be sure.
"Anywhere you and my child are is where I want to be."
Smiling she laid her head on his chest holding him as close as her belly would allow. "I'll stay here till the baby's born," she told him. "I'll stay with you."
He turned to shut off the light and pulled the sheets back over them before pulling her into his arms. "Good, and I can spoil you and fatten you up and buy you more Birkins."
She laughed in his neck. "I don't need any of that."
"Too bad" he smiled. "You're getting it all. For the first time Alison, you're getting it all."
"I don't want it all," she shook her head.
"Shut up, too bad," he laughed, closing his eyes.
"You shut up," she laughed with him.
"How about we both shut up," he pulled her in kissing her deeply.
The End.