Extremely Exciting and Helpful Disclaimer (or EEHD)

I do not own anything in this story (unfortunataly). It all belongs to Amy Sherman-Palladino. (Sorry if I spelled that wrong), and to whomever else involved in the making of Gilmore Girls. I'm just having fun! Thankyou very much. :D

P.S.

Cough cough I'm not sure when this story takes place, or where in the Gilmore Girls storyline it falls, but as far as I can make out os far, seeing as I'm not done with it yet, it's sometime in the second or third season when Rory is about 16 or seventeen. Will make up Luke's age later. :) This is the first time I've written a story in chapters...let me know what you think! (What you really think, not what you want me to think you think I think you think. I think...) Sorry if that confuses you, but if it makes you feel better, it confuses me, too. :)Thanks for all the reviews on my first storyl; I hop ya'll will like this one, too! Happy Holidays...

P.P.S.Sorry about all the smileys and parenthesesz, I guess I'm just a bit of an annoying writer. :D

"Let me get this straight, it's Luke's birthday?"

"Yup. Didn't I tell you?"

"Uh, let me think, NO!" Lorelai sat at the counter, frowning at her daughter. Rory shrugged apologetically, and took a sip of her coffee.

"Well, I just found out last night, give me a break." Lorelai dejectedly plopped her face down onto the counter. If she listened hard, Rory found that she could hear a muffled sound coming from her mother's direction. Leaning in closer to hear what her estranged mother was saying, a smile played at the corners of her mouth.

"What was that? I can't hear you…" Lorelai groaned, and lifted up her head enough so that Rory could see the freaked out look on her face.

"I said, what am I going to get him? It's his birthday. I forgot that Luke had birthdays! I mean, it's been three years since we came here, and I've never said happy birthday to him once. What must he think of me? I never thought about Luke having a birthday, because…well he's Luke. He doesn't celebrate things, and he rarely smiles…" Though when he does, it's really special…Lorelai shook her head.

"I mean, what do I do now? What should I get him? It has to be something good, so it'll make up for all the birthdays I missed. Help me!" Rory laid a hand on her Mom's shoulder, seeing that Lorelai was starting to get a little panicky, and was starting to babble louder and louder. If she didn't shut up, Kirk was going to come over to see what the commotion was about, and God knows they didn't want that to happen.

"Mom, calm down. I know exactly what to get him!" Lorelai looked skeptically at her daughter.

"What?" Rory grinned.

"Well, we all know how much he would hate a birthday party…unless you were there." Lorelai frowned, and wrinkled up her nose.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Rolling her eyes, Rory looked around to make sure Luke wasn't anywhere near, and leaned in closer, trailing her sleeve in the plate of French fries in the process.

"You know what it means."

"Nuh uh."

"Yes you do, you're just being stubborn!"

"I'm never stubborn!"

"There's the understatement of the day." Luke had just walked up in front of them carrying a pot of coffee, and trying not to smile, because that would ruin his rugged demeanor. Although every time he saw the Gilmore girls, especially Lorelai, it slipped a few notches anyway. Covering up the half grin that had escaped unbidden, he poured coffee into their waiting mugs. Lorelai smiled up at him, an expression that made him extremely nervous, because it usually meant she was up to no good.

"Hi, Luke," Lorelai said in a rather loud sing-song voice. "Happy Birthday!" Luke started and glanced around nervously, holding his gaze fearfully on the table where Patty and Kirk were sitting. Luckily, they were too busy stuffing their faces with blueberry pancakes to notice what Lorelai had said. Turning back towards Lorelai, Luke leaned over the counter, dropping a fork in the process.

"Don't say that!"

"What…you mean HAPPY BIRTHDAY?"

"SHHHHHHHH!"

"Okay, okay. Geez, don't have kittens." Rory giggled, loving the banter between her Mom and Luke every day. It sure was entertaining, especially late on a Saturday afternoon, when there was nothing on TV. Leaning her head on one hand, Rory watched Luke sigh in annoyance, and sit down next to Lorelai, every now and then darting glances around the diner to make sure that no one could hear them.

"Okay, this is for both of you. Do not, under any circumstances, tell anyone that it is my birthday. Anyone at all."

"You won't get birthday presents, then, or a party, or anything!" said Rory. Lorelai just rolled her eyes and sighed loudly.

"That's kinda the idea."

"But Luuuuke!"

"Luuuuuke!" Lorelai mimicked Rory, managing somehow to sound even more annoying than her daughter. Luke fearfully glanced at Patty, who had turned her head towards them in lightning-quick anticipation of good gossip, but when he glared at her, she meekly turned back towards her pancakes, thinking that now was not the best time to be thrown out of the diner. Lorelai sniggered at the exchange, and took a big gulp of her coffee, enjoying making Luke uncomfortable. Whoa, he was starting to look sort of panicked, though, maybe she should tone it down a bit.

"Alright, Luke, we won't tell on one condition."

"What?"

"You have to tell us why you hate your birthday." Luke sighed, looking defeated.

"Fine. I don't like birthdays because they're stupid, and sadistic, and make me feel extremely uncomfortable, what with the singing, and all of that disgusting cake and ice cream, and noisy people." Lorelai and Rory sat there shocked, with their mouths hanging open. Luke could really see the family resemblance. Rory shook her head in astonishment, and looked confused.

"But Luke, those are all of the fun parts!"

"Yeah!" Luke frowned.

"You aren't going to tell anyone about it being…" He leaned in closer and whispered.

"My birthday…are you?" Rory tilted her head, and got a thoughtful expression on her face.

"Mom, may I speak to you behind my menu, please?" Lorelai grinned, and began absentmindedly twirling a piece of her hair, which was making it very it hard for Luke to stay mad at her. He inwardly groaned; that was probably why she was doing it.

"Of course!" Lorelai held out her hand imploringly.

"Menu please!" Luke dully handed it to her, wanting to kill her and kiss her at the same time. Rory and Lorelai commenced their behind-the-menu conversation, occasionally saying things like, "Ah HA" really loud, to make Luke jump. After an eternity, the menu was lowered.

"We, the Gilmore council, have reached a decision.", said Rory with a very serious expression on her face. Lorelai cleared her throat, and picked up her coffee mug, taking a deep gulp and daintily eating a French fry, one tiny bite at a time. Luke couldn't stand it anymore.

"What?" Lorelai cleared her throat again.

"We won't tell anyone it's your you-know-what, if you come to our movie night at eight, and bring coffee and a good attitude."

"Aw, geez!"

"Okay, okay, you don't have to bring the good attitude. But we are very serious about the coffee."

"And," said Rory before Luke interrupted with,

"There's more?"

"As I was going to say before I was so rudely interrupted, you also have to come without the hat."

"WHAT?" Lorelai and Rory collapsed in giggles, as Luke's frown grew even more profound and he crossed his arms.

"No." Lorelai sighed dramatically, wringing her hands and sticking her lower lip out in a pout.

"NO!"

"Okay, you've forced us to do it." So much for toning it down...She stood up, pulling Rory with her, and repeatedly cleared her throat loudly until the few people eating in the diner looked at her.

"Attention everyone, we have an announcement to make." Shepeeked over at Luke, who was standing theregripping a basket of fries in his hands andfeeling like he was in a bad dream, and grinned. She then looked back at the customers.

"Beloved townspeople, men, women, and children...weshould all say a hearty congratulations to Luke. It is a very special day for him, being that it is his…" Here she stopped and took a deep breath in case she was forced to continue, glancing at Luke. Luke, finally giving up like he always ended up doing, mouthed the words, "Okay now please stop!" at her, to get her to quit humiliating him. Lorelai grinned, nodded in approval, and turned back to the crowd.

"Today is his one thousand, eight hundred and twenty-seventh day of knowing me and Rory, which makes it a little more than five years of giving us coffee!" The group of small town people looked at Lorelai, looked at Rory, looked at Luke, and then burst into applause, with an occasional weak whistle from Kirk, and a lot of shouts of congratulations. As the applause died down, Lorelai and Rory took a bow.

"Thank you! Thank you very much, to quote Elvis-may-he-rest-in-peace!" said Lorelai. She and Rory than sat back down on their bar-stools, crossing their legs and resuming the consumption of their coffee and fries, all the while looking at Luke expectantly.

"Alright, I give up." Luke sighed again, nervously adjusted his backwards baseball cap, and pulled out his notepad to write down the customers orders, all the while thinking of the night to come and hoping it wouldn't be too horrible…