Eien No Ai
(永遠の愛)
Prologue
Can someone tell me what death is? Some people say it's painful; some say it's an escape from everything they don't want. For some, death is even scarier than how we perceive it to be. I – once a human, but a cursed creature now – will never know what death means.
I will never age and so will I never die. I do not fear death rather, I wish for it. Some may see this curse as a gift. I've been from generations to generations, but no one stays with me. All of them left me alone on this cold and lonely world. I helplessly saw all the sins of men—burglary, adultery, corruption, murder. I even met war on the way, but it never killed me. I will never know what the word death really means. That is certain. But I know the pain of it. I wonder if this is my punishment. I hated my being. These are my thoughts until I met the girl who changed my views about this cruel world.
The smile on her face is like a flower blooming in spring. Her innocence gives her a radiant glow, but it only makes her the more unsuitable for a man like me. I, who have lived so long in the darkest cavern of the earth, kept her. Maybe that's why I want to protect every bit of her being. You may say I am crazy, even say that I made another sin. But all I think of now is that my existence is due to a certain duty. And that is to shield her from anything that can cause her harm.
The human me? I already forgot who that is since I'm the one cursed to live for an eternity. I, who became an orphan by the age of seven, made a taboo. The power and money my family have means nothing when it comes to death. Those things never saved them. They were all murdered; I was the only survivor. I cannot say that I'm lucky that I live. Justice may be on my family's side, but this cannot change the fact that I'm already alone.
The loneliness clouded me. Thus, I studied the art of magic. I did my very best to learn everything. I even became the greatest magician at the age of 17. I did all of these to resurrect my family. But it turned out that this is the darkest magic. I tried to do it during a night with a full moon, but my teacher found out and stopped me in the middle of my chant. The spell was not ended though; it transformed into a curse rendering me immortal.
How long had I been living? One? Two hundred years? I already lost count.
I used to live in the city, but I cannot take the loudness of it. So I decided to go back to my old home, on top of a mountain. As I walk through my path, I saw a baby lying under a tree. The spring had just begun by then and the weather was still cold. The baby, as I saw, is a girl. She stared at me with such innocent eyes. Her shining emerald eyes reflected her happiness, not knowing at all that she was left behind in the cold to die. She then smiled at me, even though she hasn't grown any teeth at all. I know she's just a normal human baby, but how did she make me smile again after all those years of mourning? I don't even know why I was so spontaneous back then that I decided to keep her.
Since the baby was not given a name, I named her Sakura, perfect for a very rare human who can make anyone smile even on their darkest hours. I decided this too because of the season when I picked her.
How many years had it been since I raised her? 15 years, I think. And during those years, I saw her as a strange child. All her noise makes this home as lively as it was before. The goofy smile still remains on her face. She still keeps on sneaking to my bed, though she knows how I hate it. Every morning, she tries to prepare my breakfast, even though she can only make pancakes. Beside my plate, there would always be some kind of flower that she picked early that day. What a stupid kid! Tiring herself out for nothing. As if she doesn't know that upon touching those flowers, they will just turn into dust. It's part of the curse after all. And for 15 years, I didn't touch her even once for the fear that this little flower would also just turn into dust. As I told you, I fear not death, but being left alone. I tried my best to maintain some distance between the two us, but whenever I see her smile, my anxiety goes away.
The image of a flower being blown with the wind haunts my mind. I remember when she was just a child. She would follow me around with no reason at all. Ever since she grew out of her childhood, she grew out of that habit too. Maybe this is the result of pushing her away from me. Well, it doesn't matter anyway. That's what I wanted, right? Keeping her safe is what matters the most. So there's no need sticking around me.
But why is my heart protesting? Am I a kid with no friends to play with? I didn't realize that losing her can cause my heart to act this way. I'm scared, more anxious than ever. Everything, even her life, would disappear through time. I am a warlock; she is a normal human child—frail and destined to wither through time.
I wish to stop the clock from ticking, the days from turning into nights and the sun from rising. I want her to stay with me forever. Can she do me that favor? I know this is a very selfish request, but being with her put me at ease. I even question myself sometimes, what power does she possess to be capable of pushing me around like this?
I wish sometimes I'm a human. I can grow old and even claim my death wish. But I thought, if I'm still a human, I'll die even before meeting this girl. So I said to myself to enjoy everything what I have right now.
The hundreds of years I have ever live, this has become my happiest moment. With all the bad things happened in my life, it became too surreal for me. My name is Li Syaoran and this is the story which will (may) change your views in life.
~End of the Prologue~
Disclaimer: Cardcaptor Sakura is owned by Clamp so I would like to thank them for making such characters. Please don't be hard on me.