SVU Letters
Author's Note: Just something I randomly came up with one night when I had nothing better to do. Don't get offended please, this is just for laughs.
Dear Tucker, go jump off a bridge.
Dear Kathy, go jump off the same bridge.
Dear Uncle Munch, why didn't you push Dani in front of the subway?
Dear Stuckey, you're an idiot.
Dear Porter, Olivia loves Elliot, get over it.
Dear SVU, why does Elliot always get shot, stabbed, beat up, thrown through a window, accused of molesting someone, or having to appear before IAB?
Dear Kathy, you're not allowed to refer to Olivia as Liv. Okay, thanks. Stop it.
Dear Munch, never wear all black, it makes you look like a stick man. I say that with love.
Dear Neal Baer, stop screwing with us and teasing us with the EO relationship.
Dear SVU producers and writers, can we get an EO divorce? Soon?
Dear SVU, what happened to Elliot's other kids? What were their names? I think they were Maureen and Lizzy. We always see Dickie, Kathleen, and Eli.
Dear SVU, is Eli really Elliot's kid? Are you sure he's not the mailman's kid? Just had to throw that out there.
Dear SVU, Can El and Liv have a love affair?
Dear SVU, can you bring back ADA Mikka Von? Her and Stabler would have been a hot new ship. Don't forget about her bedroom eyes for everyone.
Dear SVU casting, can we not cast anymore Disney stars. Please and thanks.
Dear Stabler, you fine sexy man. Why are you wasting your time with milky when you and your kids can be happier with Mommy Livia.
Dear Stabler, we (I) forgive you for kissing Dani Beck. But next time you feel lonely and unloved go to a hooker or go to your partner. Don't go home and knock up your wife again.
Dear SVU, it was f'd up the way that Sonya Paxton died and then the show just continued with no mention of a memorial or anything. I know she wasn't anyone's favorite and she was a cold hearted bitch, but damn that was cold. And then following up with a terrible episode after Pursuit.
Dear Benson, feeling lonely? Do your fine sexy ass partner who is around you 24/7. 365 days. I can't understand why you haven't taken advantage of this by now.
Dear Stabler, feeling lonely? Don't do your wife. Anyone but milky. She could be a reproductive abuser in a different sense. Mwuhahaha!
Dear Stuckey, how old are you? You look like you should be sitting in front of a tv screen watching Saturday morning cartoons, not working for the NYPD.
Dear Melinda, its creepy the way that you just pop up out of no where like David Caruso from CSI: Miami. Yeahhhhhh!
Dear Cragen, how old are those twizzlers you eat to cope with your drinking problem? Just curious.
Dear writers, why tease us with Kathy's demise when she flatlined after Eli was born?
Dear Stabler, STOP KNOCKING UP YOUR WIFE. Okay thanks. No more little Stabler's unless their you and Liv's love children.
Dear Liv, next time you go undercover for the feds, just tell Elliot instead of disappearing.
Dear writers, how come everytime El and Liv don't appear in an episode they're either sick or at Quantico? Always curious about that one.
Dear Neal Baer, when the hell is Calvin coming back. You promised (lied) to us.
Dear SVu, why the hell was Munch missing from so many eppys in season 12?
Dear Stabler, you should wear jeans and tight shirts more often.
Dear Stabler, I don't know why it is, but I find your rage very sexy.
Dear SVU, interrogation scenes with just Stabler and the perps are so hot.
Dear Dickie and Kathleen, no one really gives you guys credit for being such smartasses all the time. I applaud you guys for that. B/C most of the things you guys say is true.
I wrote this before I watched teh finale btw and some of these may see harsh but I say it with love. Don't take this too personally after all it is just a show and I wrote this just for fun. Judging by the annonymous reviewers who do nothing but leave rude comments, I feel this reminder is necessary: ITS JUST A TV SHOW, CALM YO TITS AND LAUGH, SHEESH. Hope everyone gets my humor, it was just for fun and I was bored out of my mind. Hope you liked it.