(A/n- So I tried a Song fanfic, just a quick chapter of how Heather feels after the finale with the song "Can you hear me" by Hollywood Undead. It's all Heathers POV. I think the song matches, I hope you do too.)
As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I wear my crown of thorns and pull the knife out my chest.
I keep searching for something that I never seem to find.
But maybe I won't, because I left it all behind.
Now I'm stuck with this, and that'll never change
Always a part of me, until the very last day.
The streets were dark, lined only with the faint yellow of the streetlights that created a spotlight circle in the road. I looked up to the light, admiring the small amount of illumination it gave to such a dark night. I took long night walks often after Total Drama, just to clear my head of…Alejandro. My heart hurt, like a knife had been shoved through my chest, and was twisted until the point where I just couldn't take it and begged for death. Every night I would wake up, crying his name, staining my pillow with tears, sweating as I reached up into the darkness, hoping somewhere, somehow he would hear my screams for him. I was disgusted with myself, to the point of utter downfall. Once my hair grew back, I chopped it off again fiercely, with scissors. I wore it the same way I did on Total Drama, I never wanted to forget. I thought I would eventually go out of my mind because of this boy. I started chewing on my nails, and bouncing my leg in anxiety every time I thought of him. I became paranoid; with every sound I would tremble in terror that it was him, here for revenge. Wasn't this revenge enough?
Where to go from here? What road to travel on?
I spent my whole life choosing, and I always chose wrong.
Will I try to have the will to be alive?
Will I try because I've never seen the light?
Blow it to the ground and it's now you see,
You spent your whole life taking the best of me
I should have chosen him over the money. The money that I never got, the money that ended a love before it ever started. My chest began to hurt again, and I began to feel like someone was behind me. I turned violently, almost knocking myself to the floor, but no one was there, no one was ever there. I began to tremble as I fell to the concrete. What did he do to me? My eyes began to tear as invisible hands felt up my back. I wanted to scream. He left me so terrified, so worthless and alone. Every day was a constant fight on whether to live on, or just stop trying and hope one day everyone forgets about you, like you were never anything at all. It was already happening; I blended in with the rest of the world. No one ever noticed me as Heather anymore, just some girl. A loner who never talked, never tried to do anything, let my life fall into a big lie, and all for what? Nothing.
Where'd you go? Where's your home?
How'd you end up all alone?
Can you hear me now?
There's no light, there's no sound.
Hard to breathe, when you're underground.
Can you hear me now? Hear me now
I never thought I could fall, the all mighty Heather fell to this, girl who I didn't even know. All I knew was that if I was my old self I would hate myself right now. I hated everything about myself, my hair, my personality, my body, my heart that could never understand what anything meant, what love was I was unsure, but I know I gave it all away, and again, for what? Nothing. I wanted to scream his name, but his presence lingered, and it touched me, covering my mouth. I could hear his voice. "Why? Why don't you understand how I love you? Why don't you love me?" he kept repeating, his voice fading into something almost demonic. I trembled and opened my mouth, but all the air was taken from my body, and I gasped for breath. I do love you. I kept repeating in my mind how much. Suddenly everything fell limp, my eyes cleared and my head felt light. His presence was gone, but his touch lingered, his strong hands holding me. My mind fell into a trance as his accent filled my ears. I smirked lightly, letting a tear fall from my eyes. I really was insane. I stumbled to my feet, laughing softly to myself as more tears found their way down my face.
How long can I keep pretending to be?
That all the stars in the sky could mean something to me.
Heaven will open up if I live on my knees.
A girl of many words, but a girl of few deeds.
Walking these streets, so absent of hope.
I hate what he has done to me. Everything I've ever been through has been multiplied due to the amount of pain that runs through my chest. I disgust myself with how insane I've become, and all for his love, the love I wish I had chosen over the million. Which may I keep reminding you, I never got. Losing both things I so desperately wanted. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't stop thinking, what if something had been different? What if I hadn't rejected him? Why can't I ever make the right decisions? Maybe if I had let him in, instead of keeping my guard up so high, when all he ever wanted was to love me. I'm so blind to everything, every little kiss blown meant something to him, and I just ignored him and hurt him. I felt sick to my stomach. I quickly turned and bent over, as if I was about to vomit, but I just fell to my knees and cried. This pain was hopeless; I would never get him back. I couldn't keep living like this; I had to get over him one way or another. But there was no light in the dark, just more darkness. He was my light, and now that my light was gone, I couldn't see, everything was black and I tripped on everything on the way to get the light back. But it kept fading and fading until it was just gone.
A pillow of concrete, a girl with no home.
Lend her a hand, then we're walking the way.
Leave the virtue of pity, but we live with the shame.
So scared to dream in a world with no sunlight.
When you wake up, you know it's darker than last night.
Quickly we forget, sacrifice gone by.
Born to walk away, been walking my whole life.
I wanted so much to be loved. Too much maybe, but to me it wasn't so much to ask. Every dream was him, every night was the same one, him holding a hand to me, but I could never catch up to him and grab it. He kept getting farther, fading as I sat in the darkness. I sat in darkness until I awoke, screaming bloody murder for him. Screaming, crying, and burning. My heart hurt, my wrists, which held deep scars of when I feared I could never feel, hurt as I scratched them. My face brightened as I heard his voice, even if it was in my mind. I turned around to the darkness, to see a faded light, his soft expression calmed me as I began crawling over to it. "Alejandro" I said softly as I stood up and fell into his embrace, it felt so unreal, because it wasn't real. My heart pounded as I began glowing in his presence, my hair began to grow out long before my eyes as he pet it, looking in my eyes. "Heather, look what has happened to you…you need to forget me." The voice said, it sounded like him, but his tone was something unheard. My head hurt, but he soothed it with a kiss to my forehead. This all felt so real, but suddenly he began to fade. I grabbed onto his collar and held tightly, but found myself falling to the pavement. "Don't go…" I cried.
Look into my eyes and I see
What do I see? Nothing at all
Take another look around me
What do I see? Nothing at all
Suddenly I felt a sharp pain, as everything turned white, I found myself looking up at a hospital room ceiling. Doctors all around me, pounding my heart, trying to get me to come too. My eyes went wide as I realized I wasn't in the streets, I was dying in a hospital. My heart let out a few faint beats as I tried turning my head to look to my left. Tears streamed down my face as the doctor shocked me again, making my heart beat franticly. My wrists bled, and a knife was slowly shimmied from my chest. I had done this to myself, this was the end, I couldn't live any more, no second chances, finally everything was over. Until I looked over, and saw Alejandro holding my hand, tears streaming down his face. I noticed his shirt full of blood, and my hand staining his. I tried to talk, but he just put his lips to mine. I felt a tear fall from his eyes onto mine. "I-I'm s-s-sorry…" I finally got out, letting my eyes flutter as everything began to get dark. "Don't give up, don't let go. Heather listen to me!" I heard Alejandro say as a doctor put a hand on his shoulder and shake his head. Suddenly I gasped, and everything went dark, all I heard was "Te quiero…" before I blacked out.
I looked up as a small white light was lighting up the darkness, I floated towards it. And there with a smile, was Alejandro, glowing in gold, holding out his hand towards me. I took it and he pulled me into his arms. So everyone does go to heaven, even backstabbers like me.
Can you hear me? Hear me now
(A/n-So, unexpected ending? Alejandro at the end is just in her personal heaven, what she really truly wanted in the end. I thought it was a cute ending. I hope you liked! BTW it helps if you listen to the song while you read. I hope you liked, Review please?)
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