Move On, a gravitation fanfic

Kadzuki told me she liked it so I'm posting it before I was supposed to so... you know who to blame (or thank!)

MOVE ON
By Ildreen Love

The hollow room made him frown in sadness as he entered. He should have known better, but still he had allowed himself to hope.

There's nothing else in this-

One step after another, he walked through it, every single object of the room reminding him of what he just had lost.

There's nothing else in this world I love more-

He could remember how it all was just a few weeks before, the brightness of the apartment while he lived there. Now it was all empty.

There's nothing else in this world I love more than your beautiful smile-

Maybe if he hadn't been so stupid before... maybe if he had listened to him, if he had... if he had...

There's nothing else in this world I love more than your beautiful smile and the way your eyes shone-

No, it was already too late. He had lost him. He would never come back now, because there was nothing to come back to.

There's nothing else in this world I love more than your beautiful smile and the way your eyes shone whenever we were together-

Why had he been so blind? Why hadn't he seen the sadness in his eyes? Why had he missed the meaning of his words?

There's nothing else in this world I love more than your beautiful smile and the way your eyes shone whenever we were together, and the way our laugher echoed in the room-

Why had he been so blind all this time? Why hadn't he noticed he ate less and less each time? Why hadn't he noticed he didn't fool around as much as he used to?

Now it was all over. It had been over officially for only a day, but he had left long before that. Perhaps during their last fight, perhaps during the last concert, but most likely from long before that.

Was life like this truly an inferno? Was it really so difficult to stay with him? Had he been truly dying for months before he had gathered the courage to leave for good?

There's nothing else in this world I love more than your beautiful smile and the way your eyes shone whenever we were together, and the way our laugher echoed in the room. But it's all over now, and I'm sorry it ends this way, I'm sorry I leave like this, but life is not what it used to and I can't pretend anymore I don't see-

He had failed. He had failed to himself, but more importantly he had failed to him. After all the broken promises maybe he had just begun to take him for granted, believing that he would never leave what he proclaimed to love the most.

Had it been wise to let him go? He had brought so many things to his once empty life... No, it was time to bury this and move on. What could he have done to keep him? Like the light of a candle in the middle of a storm it was their time to light off.

Ah, if only... those were the words he would repeat himself over and over for the rest of his life. Maybe in some time he would forgive himself. Maybe in some time he would forgive him. But for now all that was left was picking up some of his clothes and leave the apartment for good.

"I understand now... I understand why you cried during your song..."

He closed the door one last time and placed the key on the ground. He had been so determined to sing that stupid song for that concert, even when it wasn't finished... And then he had announced that he was leaving, and that the band was over. Just like that, without telling anyone before. No explanations, no apologies, no good byes, just one last unfinished song... in a pure Ryuichi style.

There's nothing else in this world I love more
than your beautiful smile
and the way your eyes shone
whenever we were together
and the way our laughter echoed in the room.

But it's all over now,
and I'm sorry it ends this way,
I'm sorry I leave like this,
but life is not what it used to
and I can't pretend anymore I don't see.

Your smile has lost its warmness,
and your eyes don't light up anymore,
life like this is not worth living,
and that's why I truly leave.

Because we were following an useless dream
because we gave up a long time ago
because we couldn't finish what we started
because we don't really care anymore

Because somewhere along the journey we lost our way
and now I'm lost as I never was
we wanted to conquer the top of the mountain but
we never thought of our way down.

There's nothing else in this world I love more
than holding your hands
and the way we made magic
whenever we were together
and the way my heart screamed in joy...

but it's all over now.

Ryuichi looked outside the window and sighed before taking his coat and walking out the apartment. Noriko and Tohma hadn't understood... they had their own lives now.

He, however, was stuck in the past, unable to move on, his own dream slowly choking him to death.

He didn't want to fall into disgrace like this, he needed to know there was something beyond for him, that he could find happiness on his own.

It was time for him to move on too, and maybe in time... maybe they all could make their magic work together once more.

-----

FIN