AN: Usually I'm not big on reading songfics myself but this one was just begging to be written. I really really really feel that it is necessary to listen to the song first, it kinda sets the tone. Enjoy!

Song- Lover I don't have to love.

Band- Bright Eyes

-A-

It was the first time that she had preformed and still felt broken afterwards.

I picked you out
Of a crowd and talked to you
Said I liked your shoes
You said thanks can I follow you?
So it's up the stairs
And out of view
No prying eyes
I poured some wine
I asked your name you asked the time

-S-

I wasn't sure what I was doing here with her, it felt wrong, but right at the same time. Not that right and wrong mattered anymore.

Now it's two o'clock,
the club is closed we're up the block
Your hands on me
I'm pressing hard against your jeans

-A-

Your tongue in my mouth
Trying to keep the words from coming out

The hot sensation of her body was blinding, this sudden need for more information on this mystery faded

You didn't care to know
Who else may have been you before

-S-

I want a lover I don't have to love

Somehow we made it back outside. I'm wearing her jacket The cold night ear flushing my cheeks and momentarily brining me to enlightenment. I watched her as she paced.

I want a girl who's too sad to give a fuck

-A-
Where's the kid with the chemicals?
I thought he said to meet me here but I'm not sure

Did she really want this? This random girl of obvious honest upbringing, did she want me?
I got the money if you got the time

-S-
You said it feels good I said I'll give it a try

The first hit of the night made me feel…everything. We were back in the abandoned music hall dressing room cuddled together in front of the coffee table. A comforting hand resting on my back as I went for another line.

Then my mind went dark
We both forgot where your car was parked

-A-
Let's just take the train

I needed to leave, I needed to leave now, I couldn't breathe in here anymore. Not with him in the walls.
I'll meet up with the band in the morning.

-S-
Bad actors with bad habits

Her loft was huge
Some sad singers
They just play tragic

Something in me told me to run
And the phone's ringing And the van's leaving

But she fussed over me, even in her condition. I was shivering; she lit a fire and poured more wine. A comforting yet toxic combination.

We were.

-A-

Let's just keep touching
Let's just keep keep singing

It wasn't until I had her on her back in the dark that I realized.
I want a lover I don't have to love
I want a girl who's so drunk she doesn't talk

I couldn't do it.
Where's the kid with the chemicals?
I got a hunger and I can't seem to get full

-S-

Her weight shifted
I need some meaning I can memorize

She says she's too stoned to continue
The kind I have always seems to slip my mind

know she's lying.

-Morning-
But you but you

I turn on my side noticing for the first time her room
You write such pretty words

An exaggerated gold seeped into the room and bounced off the brass of the many instruments.
But life's no story book

Blank pages of sheet music strewn across the floor.

-A-

I watched her back noticing now that she was awake.
Love's an excuse to get hurt

When she turned I noticed for the first time her eyes; an angelic blue.
And to hurt…

-S-

"Ashley was it?" Her voice was hoarse.
"Do you like to hurt?"

-A-

I nodded.
"I do! I do!"

A thin smile spread across her lips.

-S-

"Then hurt me."

"Spencer"

-A-

We shook hands in bed.

Then hurt me…..Then hurt me…..

AN: Heard this song the other day and wondered what it would be like if Ashley wasn't the only dysfunctional one. They both have their demons here Anyway I would love your comments.

KathleenDee