Disclaimer: GSEED and related characters are so not mine. I'm just using them for fun so don't sue me.
Domestic Bliss
A GSEED fanfic by Pluto-mint
Warning: Shounen ai, so if this is not your cup of tea, stay away and don't flame.
Pairing: AsuKira
Summary: Athrun and Kira, and the little facts of marriage.
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Domestic Bliss
Sanctuary... is a word which here means a small, safe place in a troubling world. Like an oasis in a vast desert or an island in a stormy sea. -- Lemony Snicket
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Fact 01: You will look at the person lying next to you and wonder, Is this it? Forever?
The first morning he woke up wed, he cannot help but to re-think the whole situation. The platinum band that should've been cherished, was now starting to feel like a burden. A bind that's now becoming a defining part of him: Kira Yamato, the beloved spouse of Athrun Zala. Now while it's true that he loves Athrun with all of his being, being married to him is a whole other thing.
Both he and Athrun lead a totally different life. Kira was nothing but a pacifist and yet Athrun practically worked and lived in the military. Many people had told him about how lucky he is to have Athrun as a lover; he's handsome, rich and so totally in love with him. But what they didn't know is how the blue haired man can be downright annoying in his grumpy mood, all go in a silence mode every time he gets angry or jealous for tiny miniscule things. Not to mention the way Athrun often 'forget' to simply drop an e-mail or a call just to let Kira know that he's okay, that he's alive and thus there is no need for Kira to have those nightmares which featured a crying Kira holding his bloody, battered body every night.
Okay, so what if there's a little drama queen inside of him?! It's not like Athrun is the least infuriating person on earth! Well… Okay. It's true that Athrun has always been sweet and considerate when it comes to their relationship. Hell, Athrun has been sweet enough to put up with all of his antics and wild mood swings. But how long will it last? What if one day he woke up with the painful clarity that they will never work out, that they're not meant to be? Will this be happily ever after?
Kira's eyes flickered to see the platinum band around Athrun's finger shimmered under the morning light. His husband's (Kira actually blushed at the thought) black tuxedo crumpled slightly as he stirred from his sleep. Kira flopped down to the mountains of pillow, still sighing. So much for a wedding night, they even sleep with their tuxedos on. Though he probably should have known this, the moment Cagalli enthusiastically announced their plan to the hungry media. Miraculously, the press didn't manage to ruin the ceremony itself. It was beautiful, he can still remember the way Athrun's emerald eyes lit up when he saw him walking down the aisle hand in hand with his father. Athrun's eyes were beautiful, he hated to see the loneliness tainted those deep emerald eyes. And maybe that's why he married Athrun, just simply to keep him happy. Because Athrun cannot be without him, just as he is without him. Come to think of it, the ring doesn't look so bad after all.
"Come on Kira… you couldn't possibly changed your mind already, could you?" said a sleepy voice besides him, loving arms slithered around his waist. He turned around and smiled for the first time at his husband while kissing the lips gently, "No, I am not. And good morning to you too Athrun."
The kiss took into a more passionate turn as hands started to roam every where, still sleepy and as sloppy as their first time. After a few breathless minutes, the kiss ceased into a more innocent one as Athrun's lips doting the skin at the corner of Kira's lips. "Well, that's good to hear considering we haven't properly done our wedding night's deed like any newlyweds do."
"Pervert." Kira blushed as he felt something hard poking into his right thigh. Morning breath sucks but Athrun's lips were so damn addictive. And as their body started to tangle affectionately, Kira decided that yeah, he could spend his forever with Athrun.
--
Fact 02: You'll work harder than you ever imagined.
Yzak once laughed at him when he told him his plan to settle down with Kira. Dearka only sighed and pitied Kira's mental well being if they ever got married. Even Lacus' eyes seemed to flicker with something akin to sympathy every time the M word was mentioned in her face. At first Athrun thought that it was some sort of wistful regret from Lacus' side for being unable to be with Kira. But now, Athrun can easily understand that that something was actually is sympathy on his side. He never knew that being married to Kira can be this difficult. He'd always assumed that Kira was a simple person. Kira is nice. Kira is kind. Kira is the sweetest person you could ever know.
But no.
And that's a real NO to you. Now, it's true that Kira is nice and kind and could be the sweetest person you know. But Kira is also stubborn, emotionally distant, and definitely lacking to the understanding of the meaning of the word no. Years of being in a relationship with Kira has taught Athrun the many pieces of his soul. Like the way Kira would frown every time he mention the details of the upcoming mission, or the way Kira stubbornly refuse to let go of his hands whenever he return from those long recon mission.
Those small gestures were actually kind of sweet had they not be developed into a full blown tantrum just like now. Kira was sobbing quietly, curled up under the blanket and refuse to hear any explanation from Athrun's side. Now, Athrun has always deem himself as a real gentleman, girls often swoon at his feet all thanks to his impeccable manner, but really, watching Kira crying is definitely not his forte. They often had arguments during their non married period but they never like this. Kira looked really hurt when he told him about the mission that was suddenly assigned to him. Yelling matches receded into a fit of cry when he yelled, "Goddamit Kira, you're my husband! You're supposed to understand me better!!" And that, was when the crying tantrum begin.
He never knew married life can be this troublesome. "Kira…" the mattress dipped under his added weight. "I'm sorry. I should have told you about the mission before accepting it. I just thought that you would understand, I never knew you would be like this."
The silence lingered between them. There was a faint rustle of blanket before a bleary eyed Kira emerged from his still trembling form. "Kira…" His hand unconsciously sought for Kira's fingers until they finally laced around him.
"It's not as if I don't understand you. I know that this is your life, but now I'm a part of it too. I would never object your decision to go on a mission because that's who you are Athrun. But please, be more considerate of me."
Now, he finally knew all the reasons behind the mocking laughter, the pitiful sighs, and flickered sympathy. It wasn't for him. It was meant for Kira. Because Athrun is simply the least talented person when it comes to communicating his thoughts and feelings.
"You never told me anything Kira and I'm not a mind reader." His finger trailed along the dampened cheek of Kira's face, "I'm sorry to make you feel this way. Please don't cry…" Their forehead came to rest with one another, trying to immense themselves within each other's presence. Marriage sure does complicate the things between them. Yet it made the bond between them stronger as also the engaged parts of their life. His life was now becoming Kira's too. And Athrun would never want it any other way.
--
Fact 03: You will sometimes go to bed mad (and maybe even wake up madder).
Shin and Kira should never meet each other on any circumstances. The two of them have no such chemistry whatsoever unless, of course, it was directed to Athrun. For Shin, Athrun was like an older brother he never had. They fought and teased and kicked each other ass. Shin often do the whole spoilt little brother things with Athrun, like whining and complaining and wanting Athrun's undivided attention for himself. That's probably why Shin's presence irked Kira to no end.
Both Shin and Athrun worked in ZAFT and as expected, it was Shin who finally became Athrun's aide. Being a general and an elite member of ZAFT sure made Athrun a really busy guy. Kira hated the fact that it was Shin, and not him, who gets to spend the most time with Athrun. Like now. Athrun was supposed to be home for dinner, spending some quality time with him. But no. Athrun had to finish all the paper needed for the next mission. And with Shin nevertheless.
11 p.m. and there's no sign of Athrun coming home. Not even bothered to warm the cold dinner, Kira decided to head straight to their bedroom. He was angry, both to himself and Athrun. Inhale. Exhale. He needed some time to breathe, to keep his jealousy in check. Forcing his eyes shut, Kira turned to face the wall until sleep finally claims him.
Morning came all too soon and still there was no sign of Athrun. His side on their bed was cold and neat, signs of having no occupant around. At first there was the anger, then goes the jealousy before all finally dawned into sadness. Kira cannot help himself not to cry. Tears streaming down his cheeks as unbidden thoughts crashed into his mind; Athrun spent the night with Shin in the office. Together. And not with him.
Sniffing, Kira tried to shake away all of his irrational thoughts. Athrun loves him and that much is true. Consoling himself with the knowledge, Kira left the bedroom and padded to the kitchen. He was slightly surprised to see that the dinner was gone from the kitchen counter, the dishes were done, and there's a set of breakfast on the table: french toast with fried bacon, fruit salad, and a cup of a still steaming café latte. A note was slipped under the mug; the hand writing clearly belonged to Athrun. It reads:
"Kira, I'm sorry for making you waiting last night. You didn't answer any of my calls so I decided to check on you first before going to the site. An emergency situation happened at sector 7, Shin and I were needed immediately on the ground zero (Shin again, frowned Kira). I know I've been such a jerk to you and I'm sorry (as he should be, Kira's lips twitched slightly). I know we need to work this out but we need to cool it down first. I don't want to hurt you again. So… (the note was added carefully) why don't you drop by my office this evening, we'll take a walk in the park together and try to clear up the things. Who knows, maybe at the end of night we can have some quality time together lover boy, and you can help me 'christening' the new working desk at the study room (Kira could almost see the smirk gracing Athrun's handsome face and blushed at the line, suddenly being reminded of the frenzied moments when they 'christened' each and every room of their house). I love you, as always. Athrun."
Kira held the paper tightly and closed his eyes. He's still mad at Athrun but it's alright. Things will work out between them, he knew that for sure. Relieving the burden in his heart, Kira smiled whilst seeping the warm café latte. The bitter sweet taste awakened his senses, clearing up his head from unwanted thoughts. Tonight he'll try to be honest with Athrun, being true and simply being himself, and Athrun will understand. Just like always.
--
Fact 04: You will go without sex — sometimes for a long time — and that's okay.
They're on that period again. The sexless period, that is. It's been quite a while since the last time they do it; conflicting schedule and tight deadlines were the main reasons why. His research project was so time consuming that he hadn't been able to see Athrun for the last few days. As a matter of fact, tonight's dinner party was actually the first time he gets to see Athrun after four days being stuck in the lab.
This is so frustrating, being both male and not even reached their fourty (which supposedly making them as the horniest creature in earth, or so Cagalli said), and yet already having the 70 year old couple's sex cycle. What is wrong with them? Or rather, what is wrong with him?! Though Cagalli often said that both he and Athrun make quite a dashing couple, Kira had never himself as a candy to the sore eyes. Mainly it's because he's feeling a little too self-conscious when comparing himself to Athrun. He was a little short if being compared to Athrun's height. It's true that he didn't have that overly feminine face, but his gentle manner often make people mistaken him as a girl. The annoying part of it was that every time he made a fuss about how he looks, Athrun will only roll his eyes and lean down to kiss him. As if it's not such a big deal for him. Well yeah, his husband did often claim that he was only Kira-sexual (whatever that means anyway) and thus Kira should never be worried about him cheating with one of the officers. Deep in his heart Kira had always believed his words. But still! These sexless periods often brings unwanted anxiety in his part.
Sighing defeatedly, Kira raked his fingers through his meticulously styled hair (yes, Lacus did send one of her many stylists in order to prepare him for the dinner party at her mansion). Stupid dinner party, in which he had to strain his lips to smile and nod every time Athrun introduced him as his spouse (which also often followed by a giggling fit from the female counterpart). He hated dinner parties, hated the mauve dress shirt he wore for the party (Lacus said it was tailor made only for him), hated the hair do (the tousled bangs made him looked less dignified), but all the anxieties quickly dissipated when he saw Athrun's eyes twinkled with a slightly surprised look. Though Athrun looked as equally tired as he is, but his warm smile managed to ease Kira's heavy heart. It's been four days anyway.
Athrun did not even once letting go of his hand and it was kind of sweet because he knew how much Kira hated these dinner parties. Kira also didn't miss the small gesture in which Athrun's fingers were circling the inner side of his wrist affectionately, an unconscious gesture that often reveal his husband's desire to be with him. Just a small gesture yet it managed to bring shivers down his spine.
He must be consuming too much wine tonight; the tipsy feeling just didn't seem to go away. He really should excuse himself right now, before he makes any stupid mistake that is.
"Athrun, I'm feeling dizzy. I think I need to go upstair." He whispered into his husband's ear.
Something flickered inside Athrun's eyes (concern, perhaps?). "Alright, I'll tell Lacus that you'll be resting on her guest room."
"Thanks." Kira quickly excuse himself to their guest, nodding slightly to Cagalli on his way up. The clattering sounds of the party fade in a buzz as he closed the door behind him. The room was nice. Lacus truly did dedicate herself in decorating the room. The moon hung over the window sill, illuminating the room in a sheer glow. The atmosphere was almost romantic. If only Athrun was here … Unbuttoning the two top button of his shirt, Kira decided to let the sleepiness lured him away. Tonight had been pleasant, he wondered if they could spend some quality time together in the morning. Yeah, that would be nice, Kira thought with a smile as he laid himself on the bed.
The silence didn't last for too long as the door creaked open; Kira had to squint his eyes from the flowing light flowing of the hallway. Rising slightly from his stretched back, he propped himself on one elbow as he easily recognized the intruder as his husband. "Athrun …?"
Athrun smirked as he closed the door shut. "Stay. You're sexy like that Kira."
"The dinner party?" asked a blushing Kira. His heart was thumping so hard.
The blue haired man flopped into the side of the bed, kicking off his shoes as he crawled on top of Kira. "No such importance. I know you'd be looking so good with this shirt, Kira."
"This shirt?" said a breathless Kira. They're being too close, his heart was going wild right now, and arousal surged inside his vein. Athrun's lips descended into his, smothering their way inside easily. All kind of thoughts were lost as nimble fingers tugged his shirt up to his chest, lips and tongue soon followed their path.
"Yes. This shirt Kira, I ordered it myself. I knew the color will bring out the color of your eyes." Athrun's lips were made to please and Kira found it's hard to think with them attached eagerly on his neck, worshipping the skin with such intensity.
"Nnn… Athrun." Half heartedly, Kira pushed his husband to stop the ministrations and leaned up for a kiss, "I miss you." This time they take the kiss in a slow and lingering fashion, each trying to convey their feelings through the kiss. Sweet, gentle, and consuming.
Athrun were looking at him intensely through his half lidded eyes, induced by lust, but most of all by love. "I miss you too, beautiful."
Kira smiled in the dark and the love was shining in Athrun's eyes, only for Kira. Because they found him beautiful, because they adored him. And that was more than enough. He pulled his husband down for another kiss and in between the sleepy, breathless kisses, his head came to rest by the crook of Athrun's shoulder. "Mmm …" he murmured contently, "Let's just sleep in first, shall we?"
A pout was taking its form in his husband's lips, "You don't want me?"
Kira cannot stifle the giggle that spilled from his lips. Really. Here he was, thinking that he should be the one to say that line. Oh how he wanted him, but the both of them needed the sleep right now. "You know I do. Now, sleep. And I'll let you do anything you want in the morning."
The lust shimmered inside Athrun's eyes, they glinted with promises that brought the shiver back once again. "I'll take your words for that Kira." Smiling, Kira let himself being pulled to his husband's chest once again, enjoying the long, affectionate stroke on his back. Sex can wait 'til morning but being here, inside the arms that loved him, Kira had never felt more beautiful.
--
Fact 05: As you face your fears and insecurities, you will find out what you're really made of.
Athrun was beyond tired. He had just finished the meeting with the PLANT council after completing a particularly unexpected mission, getting stuck to listen at their pointless arguments while still yet unable to contact his husband. He was so, so very much tired and he missed Kira so badly. It's been two weeks since they last had contact with each other. No emails, no text messages, and not even single call passed between them. Their separation had been abrupt and filled with bitter arguments. Kira had been upset because the last minute's call interrupted their plan. Angry shouts filled their bedroom that night and for the first time in years Kira slept with his back turned against him. They didn't even kiss each other good bye in the morning.
It was supposed to be an easy mission to assist the peacekeeping committee meeting the LUNAR rebellion army, but then suddenly the mission went wrong. Apparently the small rebellion army decided that capturing the highest commander of ZAFT would provide them a better leverage. What they didn't know was that the commander himself, with the help of his aide of course, was actually more than capable to disarm a dozen of poorly equipped amateur soldiers. The hardest part was to escape and find a safe location without losing their lives; it took nine days for Athrun to reach the nearest town. He was torn, exhausted, battered and reeked with blood. But what pained him the most is the fact that he may not be able to his husband's smile once again. He didn't want to have the image of a crying Kira as his last memory.
He wanted to go home so badly, but will Kira still be there for him? He had hurt him, leaving him and ignoring his plea to stay. It's not like Athrun did not want to stay at all, but there's an insolent tug in his heart. It was restless and anxious and afraid. Afraid that someday Kira would finally realize that Athrun was not enough. He'd been a disappointment to his father, a regret on his mother, so why then it would be any difference with Kira? And maybe, maybe his love will never be enough and Kira would leave. But Kira loves him, so much that he often wondered about the pain flickered inside those saddened violet eyes. And maybe this time it's really not enough… Maybe it all would be just a little too late.
Unable to bear the uneasy feeling anymore, Athrun quickly dismissed himself and heading straight home. His subordinates immediately provided him the best vehicle they have to guide him home: the newest ZAKU unit. And as the roaring sounds of the engine echoed in the night, Athrun's fingers thrummed anxiously, waiting for the phone line to reach its destination.
--
The beach had been so quiet today. The rumbling sounds of the ocean can be heard between the breezes. It felt almost peaceful to be here with the moon blending quietly with the night sky, and simply feeling the waves rolling lazily between his feet. So why then does his heart keep fluttered in erratic movements, anxious and waiting for the only thing that can ease their pain?
Every time the sands and the ocean meet, all that he can see and taste and feel is his husband. The sea reminded him so much of Athrun, of the way he takes everything, selfishly albeit still devoted in a frightening intensity. Sometimes he wondered, in quiet nights when Athrun was away in some foreign country, alone and most likely getting himself trapped in another dangerous situation, about his husband's reasons to fight. The war has been over for quite a long time and yet Athrun always return to the battles. It was unnecessary, so why then did Athrun still go? Was it because his soldier gene runs too thickly in his blood? Was it because Kira is never enough? Or was it because Athrun was afraid that he will never be enough for Kira? Is that so?
Stupid Athrun. Always testing his faith, fearing the moment when Kira would claim that he could not withstand him anymore. The man doesn't seem to notice how much he loves him, so much that his love was as big as the ocean, as unbound and free. Athrun would always stray now and then but Kira will always wait. Just like the sand to the ocean.
But now he feared that everything was too late. Athrun's little stunt has turned into chaos. The papers have been speculating about his death, unaware about the grief on Kira's part. He just cannot be without him. A stubborn tear fell into his cheeks, Athrun… It hurts.
--
Athrun ran frantically, hurrying towards Kira. He could see the outline of his husband near the shore, crying and defeated. It was all his fault and pleasepleaseplease don't let it be too late. He was wrong, he knows. In a last desperate attempt, Athrun called out for his husband "Kira!!!"
Those violet eyes widen before they finally flooded with love, of hope and sadness. Cagalli had been right when she told him that Kira was a mess. The puffy eyes, tears streaked cheeks and weight loss were proof enough for him. Kira looked so frail and weak, and it's probably easier for him to let go and yet there he was, still holding on to the hope, to his love, to his faith in him. Like a lily in a storm, he was waiting for him patiently and Kira had never looked more beautiful than this. Because Kira is made of love, of forgiveness and simple acceptance, just as he hoped he would be for Kira.
And as they finally collided, arms tangled with one another, body clashed in a wild hope, words of love were whispered between them.
It's alright, it's alright… I'm here.
Athrun… Athrun… Athrun…
The two lovers cried and laughed, with honesty and full with love, safe and protected within the arms they loved. The sands and the ocean finally meet in a silent embrace, and the lovers were finally home.
- FIN
A/N: OMG. It's been like … what, two years since the last time I write? I'm getting rusty here so pardon the lame writings and bad grammar. Now that I re read the fic again, I can't help not to wince. Geez I hope it's not that awaful... Anyway, I've been busy and yadda yadda yadda. I'm really sorry for the delayed update of STOLEN. No. I'm not dropping them, I just need a little motivation here. So please be kind and click that review button will you? Just tell me what you think and maybe I find myself not that rusty again. ;)
Btw, the theme for each drabble was taken from an article at MSN but I forgot who the author is…