Te Amo
Sunday, 1st January 1978
I've not kept a diary for a few years so I'd better fill you in…
Why is everything so complicated? I mean, seriously. The shit that's going on in my life right now is the sort of thing you'd expect to find in the agony aunt column of Witch Weekly.
Why, you might ask? Well, for one thing, there's a war going on outside Hogwarts. Everyday people are going missing or getting killed by a raging psychopath who calls himself 'Lord Voldemort'. He'll stop at nothing to gain power over our world and even the Ministry are afraid of him. He's targeting anyone who isn't 'pure' which is totally hypocritical as he isn't even a pure blood himself!
As if that wasn't bad enough, Severus has been trying to talk to me again. He's been sending me letters anonymously but I know they're from him. It makes me feel uncomfortable because I don't want to go down that road again. He showed his true colours by hanging around idiots like Avery and Mulciber who actually support Voldemort's views. In fifth year he called me a 'Mudblood' in front of the whole school and I saw how much he'd changed. He came up to our common room to apologise to me after but I wouldn't listen. I barely recognised the person he'd become so being friends was pointless. I got over him pretty quickly but he still doesn't seem able to get over me. I feel sorry for him but he's brought it on himself, really.
Breaking up with him has actually done me favours in the sense that I've made loads more friends now. Zanya and Lottie are Ravenclaws I met at charms club and I've also befriended James, Sirius and Peter. I've been in the same house as them for years but we were never on speaking terms. In all honesty they used to annoy me with their immaturity. They'd always be pulling stupid pranks in the middle of class and I'd feel on edge just being near them. It was Remus who introduced me to their nice side. When we did our perfecting duties together he'd tell me crazy stories about them that made me see them in a different light.
Eventually, we started hanging out at weekends or on random school nights and it all went from there. My best friends (Jess and Mary) hit it off with them too so now we're one big group. It makes life a lot more colourful.
The real drama started before the Christmas holidays when we decided it would be a fun idea to get pissed off our faces. Gryffindor had won a Quidditch match against Ravenclaw and James was on a high. Sirius dashed up to his room to fetch his (illegal) supply of firewhisky and we drained it within half an hour. I swear to God, I'll never drink again- it was that embarrassing! I ended up disclosing that I'd never been kissed so Jessica grabbed my face and pulled me in for one. I was barely aware of what I was doing, let alone the fact that the entire common room was watching. She then started to run her hands down my body and I pulled away from her in shock. I ran off to the toilets looking like I'd been stupefied. Ten minutes later I was still in there, wondering what the best way to avoid everyone was when she appeared round the door. "Babe, come back" she said, smiling at me like nothing whatsoever had happened. She grabbed my hand but I escaped by pretending I was tired and wasted and needed to sleep (mostly true).
I know I probably overreacted but come on; it was my first kiss! I was expecting it to be awkward between us the next day but she treated me like she normally does and we managed to avoid talking about it. When the guys brought it up, smirking, she laughed and winked at me. And that was it.
The story of that night has spread round the school like wildfire since then and been greatly exaggerated. People seem to be under the delusion that I'm lesbian. According to Sirius a couple of fourth years have been swearing me and Jess had went to bed together and wapped out a bunch of sex toys! He grinned and told me to invite him next time. I hit him over the head with my charms textbook; I wasn't impressed.
Love,
Lily